Turnabout Brotherhood : My First Trial

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Turnabout Brotherhood : My First Trial 

Message par heropon riki bestest » Jeu Déc 07, 2017 7:51 pm

I have been working hard on this and have had the idea for the trial for months. im still getting used to the editor but im doing good. i posted the trial with (WIP) in the title since ive only gotten to the first recess. i know of several typos and the massive problem of info only used in pressing conversations is very important and talked about later even if you didn't press and don't know wtf their talking about. but if anyone wants to critique anything either to my knowledge or something i did not even think about please tell me, i am prone to failure, even more so in spellieng.

my biggest worry is that i have been to focused on the big image in my head i'm not explaining it at all to the player.


oh and a link to it so you can actually try it out http://www.aaonline.fr/player.php?trial_id=99767
Riki - Thanks to Riki's sidekicks, we win.
Reyn - Wha!? Who're you calling sidekick?
Riki - No see anyone else. Must be you.
Reyn - Stupid furry volleyball. I'm gonna...
Shulk - Reyn, you're such an easy target. *Laughs*
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heropon riki bestest
 
Message(s) : 1
Inscription : Mar Nov 28, 2017 7:40 pm
Localisation : Makna Forest
Genre: Masculin
Langues parlées: English

Re: Turnabout Brotherhood : My First Trial 

Message par Marios2 » Jeu Déc 07, 2017 11:01 pm

Ah, since I've just popped up, allow me to help you showcase your trial.
You should make sure trial threads comply to these rules (trials themselves should comply with these rules as well, but nine times out of ten you're already obeying them)

Here's what you need to do to make a proper showcase that you haven't done yet:
  • "You should give information about the story of your case." - We have zero information on what the trial is about other than guessing from the title, so please include a basic description of the story. Spoilerless, of course.
  • "You should place several tags at the front of your thread's title to show the type of case that you're showcasing." Ever wondered why all the other threads in this section have stuff like [C], [T] and [DGS♫]? They are tags that give preliminary information about what the type of trial we're dealing with and spoilers for unlocalized (officially or not) and recently released games (currently Dai Gyakuten Saiban 1/2 and Spirit of Justice)*.

Your trial's title, judging from the current description, should be:
[T] Turnabout Brotherhood ○
Seeing as this is a standard trial ([T]) and that there is a single, unfinished 'episode' (○)

Please comply with these showcasing rules as to ensure quality of the showcase and attract the appropriate audience. I'll edit this post with my review of the case up to the first recess once I have played it.

EDIT: Oh, and be prepared to wait patiently for a few days to get posts. These forums tend to be slow, so if activity seems to be dead, it's actually the normal rate. I've learned this the hard way, and I wish for you to learn it the easier one.

*Spoiler tagging rules can be seen seperated from showcasing rules here but you don't seem to have anything DGS or SOJ so you probably won't need them. Still, it's a good thing to give it a little read so that you know what the tag does in other trials.

-----------------------------
Spoiler : Thoughts :
I almost fell asleep in front of my computer due to inconvenient time for a post, but here's several scattered thoughts and observings about the case. Other people give better formatted reviews so, don't take this stream of thoughts as an example for what reviews people give.

To make an effective prologue with non-looping prologue music, you'll need to make it autoscroll.
The trial started very quickly without much of a word, but I liked the twist that your friend was a prosecutor all along.
The trial's pacing needs work in general.
Music choices are... interesting, but a bit exaggerated at some points.
During and after the first cross-examination, the game sometimes breaks and only shows a blank defense bench for all characters except the Judge who gets an empty judge seat.
The judge doesn't seem to find out too soon that the 'defense attorney' is a saleswoman. This is acknowledged when pressing at the second CE but that's a bit troublesome.
The prosecutor just hands you a guide during the trial. That's a bit silly. You should make the guide appear sometime earlier, or maybe during a flashback mid-trial.
Grammar needs work, though it seems to indicate this is a comedy case (where you should put both [T] and [C] tags). The comedy part is not too shabby.
Objecting successfully at the second CE has the objection shout not be autoscroll so you have to press the arrow to proceed.

MAJOR FLAW: Damages are outright random. It seems you get like a 1% penalty when you fail an objection during first CE, then you get 45% PENALTY when you fail an objection during second CE, and "this person will give us more information" gives you something lower than an AAI penalty.

For reference, player health in AAO is 120 instead of the expected 100.
Therefore, 20% of player's health would be 24 (standard penalty, 5x24 = 120) and 10% of player's health would be 12 (standard AAI penalty, 10x12 = 120)
Or you could do 20 damage to allow for one extra penalty (6x20 = 120) or 48 for a double penalty and 24 for a double AAI penalty, same as standard.

I see potential in this case, serious or comical. I suggest you refine the various flaws and grammar so far to the best of your ability, but it's okay if you prefer to put more focus to making content after the recess. Keep at it!
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Marios2
 
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Inscription : Lun Déc 08, 2014 6:21 pm
Genre: Masculin
Langues parlées: Greek, English


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