[T] AA: Beyond the Shadows ●●●●●

Find and discuss trials made by other members and showcase your own trials.

Moderators: EN - Forum Moderators, EN - Trial Reviewers

User avatar
Enthalpy
Community Manager
Posts: 5169
Joined: Wed Jan 04, 2012 4:40 am
Gender: Male
Spoken languages: English, limited Spanish

Re: [T] AA: Beyond the Shadows ●●●○ (Case 3!)

Post by Enthalpy »

Thanks for the clarification. Got it now, and done with Case 1. I'll post my thoughts later this week and start on Case 2.
[D]isordered speech is not so much injury to the lips that give it forth, as to the disproportion and incoherence of things in themselves, so negligently expressed. ~ Ben Jonson
Super legenda
Posts: 860
Joined: Mon Sep 11, 2017 8:10 pm
Gender: Male
Spoken languages: Español e Ingles

Re: [T] AA: Beyond the Shadows ●●●○ (Case 3!)

Post by Super legenda »

When will be published the first part of case 4?
User avatar
Gizmological
Posts: 232
Joined: Sun Jan 11, 2015 9:44 pm
Gender: Male
Spoken languages: English
Location: England

Re: [T] AA: Beyond the Shadows ●●●○ (Case 3!)

Post by Gizmological »

@Enthalpy

Great, thank you.

@Super legenda

Not sure, I'm pretty bogged down with exams and the like right now so I'm going to be running low on free time for a while. Were I an optimist, I'd say that I might be able to get the case finished in the summer when I have a bit more freedom, but I'm not certain how realistic that is.
User avatar
Enthalpy
Community Manager
Posts: 5169
Joined: Wed Jan 04, 2012 4:40 am
Gender: Male
Spoken languages: English, limited Spanish

Re: [T] AA: Beyond the Shadows ●●●○ (Case 3!)

Post by Enthalpy »

Technical corrections below. Apart from a few minor points, the CEs were pretty solid! The story was a weaker part of the case. Do you think you've improved on that, later in the series? If so, I want to play through the later cases in the series, so I have a better idea of what will help you.

My recommendations for the flashlight remain.
Spoiler : Technical Corrections :
F35: Ema is a close
F63: defeat, he
Why is Payne so confident on F63?
It's very strange for Fuzz to say that Ema is "the only possible suspect" right after a press conversation in which Phoenix identifies another possible suspect.
When the Floor Plan is added to the CR, "plan" is not capitalized.
F229: case, so
Fuzz's talk about special files seems awkward, given that these don't have clear relevance to the case, and this should be something he does not want to talk about. Might I suggest having Phoenix question Fuzz about this point, and using that to prompt his detail?
F251: Comma splice.
F253: room, so
F258: "the" or "your". Pick one.
After we point out the contradiction about an instantaneous death, the testimony should be changed to reflect this. The testimony is still inconsistent, even after we supposedly fix it.
F285: Capitalize "court record".
"Followed him with the intention of murdering" could really use elaboration, given the ten minute gap between their entry.
I noticed the oddity about the murder weapon but then made Payne's argument and thought it wasn't an actual contradiction. No good fixes for this come to mind, partly because there's an uncaught contradiction: under Fuzz's narrative, Ema had no plausible means to avoid suspicion, so why would she have killed him like that anyways?
It seems overly dramatic for Payne to call for a verdict so soon.
F602: wrong, and
Fuzz needs to mention the torch when talking about there not being anything out of place.
F735: cases, but
F772: Its
The discussion of the file seems a little too dramatic for something that has no demonstrated relevance.
In the testimony: unconscious, and
You're inconsistent on whether your capitalize part of a sentence, if the part starts with an ellipsis (frame continuation).
Without knowing how far the witness went into the room, Charles may have been hiding in the middle row, not the top.
F1290: whose
F1311, F1334: whose
I would cut this CE down if possible. The number of statements is unwieldy. I would also recommend accepting the flashlight on "He's the one that hit her," if only to say that there's another statement that more directly shows the problem before sending the player back into the testimony.
Location vs. position, is the problem? WAY too vague. Change position to orientation.
F1591: concern
F1732: on, and
F1735: it, then
F1771: Remove the comma after "Your"
F1838: light, and
F2308: Gard, and
F1868: file, so
F1940: murder, and
F2269: working against me, then
[D]isordered speech is not so much injury to the lips that give it forth, as to the disproportion and incoherence of things in themselves, so negligently expressed. ~ Ben Jonson
User avatar
Gizmological
Posts: 232
Joined: Sun Jan 11, 2015 9:44 pm
Gender: Male
Spoken languages: English
Location: England

Re: [T] AA: Beyond the Shadows ●●●○ (Case 3!)

Post by Gizmological »

Thanks, I'll look at fixing this stuff when I get the chance. I'd probably agree that the story isn't the best in this case, it was more to set things up than anything. So, yeah, personally I think it's much stronger in the other two.
User avatar
Gizmological
Posts: 232
Joined: Sun Jan 11, 2015 9:44 pm
Gender: Male
Spoken languages: English
Location: England

Re: [T] AA: Beyond the Shadows ●●●○ (Case 3!)

Post by Gizmological »

A quick update to talk about what's going on:


With winter exams out of the way, I actually have a bit of spare time now. The issues with case 1 pointed out by Enthalpy should be fixed now. Changes include:
  • Fixed a lot of typos/grammatical errors.
  • Edited the torch icon to better resemble the zoomed-in photo of the handle.
  • Cut down on the number of unnecessary statements in CE6.
  • Pointing out a contradiction in CE2 will now update the necessary statements.
  • Changed some lines to make the dialogue more natural.
  • Made some slight changes to some of the puzzles to make them more fair.

With any luck, I should be able to start making some progress on the next case before my studies pick back up again. That said, summer exams are expected to be pretty brutal, so you'll have to forgive me if I end up going quiet again around that time.

That's everything. As always, I'm really thankful for all the responses and feedback I've had on this little project of mine. It means a lot to me.

Cheers
User avatar
Blizdi
Posts: 388
Joined: Wed Jul 03, 2013 3:39 pm
Spoken languages: English

Re: [T] AA: Beyond the Shadows ●●●○○

Post by Blizdi »

Am I going crazy or does this topic have 5 cases instead of 4 now?
Image
Super legenda
Posts: 860
Joined: Mon Sep 11, 2017 8:10 pm
Gender: Male
Spoken languages: Español e Ingles

Re: [T] AA: Beyond the Shadows ●●●○○

Post by Super legenda »

You are going crazy.
User avatar
Gizmological
Posts: 232
Joined: Sun Jan 11, 2015 9:44 pm
Gender: Male
Spoken languages: English
Location: England

Re: [T] AA: Beyond the Shadows ●●●○○

Post by Gizmological »

Blizdi wrote:Am I going crazy or does this topic have 5 cases instead of 4 now?
Yep. It's for the "bonus" case that I was on about before. It's really short, so I finished making it a few days ago and I'm just waiting to find someone to playtest before it's released.
Parafin
Posts: 4
Joined: Mon Apr 18, 2016 5:58 pm
Gender: Male
Spoken languages: English

Re: [T] AA: Beyond the Shadows ●●●○○

Post by Parafin »

Hey! I've been here ages but this is my first post on AAO, and I was never expecting to make a post. But your cases are so good that I had to share my thoughts.

Seriously I love this series, I would say it's up there with the best! In particular all of the returning characters are totally in-character.

Individual case thoughts below (warning it's a bit long)
Spoiler : :
Case 1: I thought this was a very good first case as far as first cases go! Sure, it may have lacked some of the dramatic flairs of most of the real first cases (amnesia, bombs, mentors being evil), but I was fine with that because it made up for it with a solid mystery and, my favourite part of the case, the characters. I loved both Ian and Charles, and I will say I was completely fooled by "the norm" second-witness-is-killer into suspecting Gard, I was really surprised when it came to be Fuzz. Good twist there.

Case 2: Another fun case, the mystery was another good one. Phoenix getting shot was a great surprise twist. I LOVE Franziska in this series, dare I say even more than in the canon! Brooke was my favourite character here because I love the "actually nice and helpful" ones. Wesley was rather funny. Stan initially I thought "eh" but he actually got better further along. The one negative feeling I had about this one was that I just didn't like Nathan Mags; however, this was a personal preference as I don't really enjoy "complete and utter evil" villains. Credit is due because for what he is, he's an utterly despicable and certainly hateable guy, even if I don't like that type. Overall I definitely think you were aiming for a dark case and I think you achieved that very well.

Case 3: I think this is definitely your best one. The mystery was totally gripping and I can't believe I didn't notice the clock contradiction! The one thing with this case was that I didn't really like Vito (again, personal, just not my sort of evil), but that was outweighed by how much I LOVED the personalities of Anne and Tristan. In particular, I was so endeared with Tristan's miserable personality that, even though either him or Vito had to be the killer, I was upset and it genuinely felt a blow when his true form came out. And I actually felt the tiniest bit sympathetic for him in the end. You really pulled it off well. Shay is a very intriguing character, and I loved seeing the Kitakis back. And John/Shelly as a defendant was a brilliant and well executed idea. I thought he'd be revealed to be hired by someone but that he didn't end up doing the job (which turned out to be true, it just hasn't been revealed to the characters yet). So yeah, great case. AND THOSE CLIFFHANGERS.... NGHOOOOH!
I'm anxious to find out the answers to all the unanswered questions and cliffhangers. I cannot wait for your bonus case and eventually the final case.

(Sorry that this post is incredibly long!)
User avatar
Gizmological
Posts: 232
Joined: Sun Jan 11, 2015 9:44 pm
Gender: Male
Spoken languages: English
Location: England

Re: [T] AA: Beyond the Shadows ●●●○○

Post by Gizmological »

Hey, thank you so much for the kind words, Parafin. I'm really happy that you're enjoying what I do. My projects on AAO are sort of on the back burner for me right now, only because I'm totally swamped with work. It's responses like this that always keep me coming back though!
User avatar
ned63
Posts: 54
Joined: Sat Nov 15, 2014 10:55 am
Gender: Male
Spoken languages: English

Re: [T] AA: Beyond the Shadows ●●●○○

Post by ned63 »

I just finished playing through the 3 released cases, and I really love this series!
Spoiler : Case 1,2 and 3 spoilers :
I loved Charles Fuzz as a villain in case 1. I thought he was the killer at the start just because he was the only witness, but afterwards I fell into the "The Second Witness is always the killer in case 1!" trap that the last person who commented did too. I'm also a massive sucker for that whole "case from many years ago (that may or may not be unresolved)" thing that's in Ace Attorney a lot, both in canon and non-canon, so that mention got me excited. Ian Gard was cool too.

Maggs was good to take down, defending someone who thinks they did it is always good in a case in my opinion anyway; it was done good here. I liked the small cameo from Gard inb4 he's the final villain and Stickler actually made me burst out laughing when he appeared (Apollo's description made me think it was Kristoph, and I was wondering how the hell he managed to see it). Phoenix getting shot was also a good twist right from the get-go, and built up anticipation for when it actually happened in the investigation.

Tristan was cool too, I kind of did suspect him since I didn't think the game would reveal the killer in the investigation two cases in a row, and him falsely confessing to cover for his son seemed logical, but he was a good character either way. I love Shay Dee, really excited to see his involvement in things later on, why he was going to be targeted, etc. An explanation for why Phoenix is away would be nice (or maybe I missed it?), obviously he couldn't be there since he'd probably recognize De Killer but hey.
Speaking of De Killer, I LOVED defending him in this case. The build up with the De Killer vibes in the case 2 epilogue/case 3 intro, and then such a shock when Crooke mentions a "frankenstein face" and it all clicks.

I could go on for ages, but I'll just say a few more things.
I think most of the contradictions were really good. I think the gun not having a tag was in case 2 was good, but should've been more obvious, but maybe I'm just salty because I needed the walkthrough for that one :P
All returning characters stayed true to their canon personalities which is good.
I'm happy Franzy is the prosecutor (or is for 2/3 anyway), she hasn't been in the spotlight since T&T except for the AAI games.
I love the use of epilogues at the end of the case. Case 3's epilogue was absolutely amazing, I'm really excited for case 4.
tl;dr this is good, play it if you haven't
Image
User avatar
Gizmological
Posts: 232
Joined: Sun Jan 11, 2015 9:44 pm
Gender: Male
Spoken languages: English
Location: England

Re: [T] AA: Beyond the Shadows ●●●○○

Post by Gizmological »

I am really bad at responding to people in good timing, aren't I...

Thank you for the kind words, ned63! I'm glad that you enjoy my stuff.
Spoiler : Response to one of your points :
An explanation for why Phoenix is away would be nice (or maybe I missed it?)
I'll need to check if any of the characters outright state this (I think they do, but it might be part of a present convo), but it does say in Phoenix's profile that he's still in the hospital after being shot at this point.

In general news, I'm on Easter break now, so while I do need to spend a lot of time studying, I've got a bit of free time now. I doubt I'll get case 4 finished before I'm back at uni, but it's definitely progressing bit by bit. I'd like to release the bonus case pretty soon, but I still need someone to playtest for me. (If, by chance, someone reading this wants to help out, take a look at my most recent post on the case assistance thread/PM me.) In the meantime, here's a few of screenshots of what's to come.
Spoiler : Bonus Case: Turnabout Regrets :
Image
Image
Image
Spoiler : Case 4: Currently without a name :
Image
Image
Image
Super legenda
Posts: 860
Joined: Mon Sep 11, 2017 8:10 pm
Gender: Male
Spoken languages: Español e Ingles

Re: [T] AA: Beyond the Shadows ●●●○○

Post by Super legenda »

The cases are looking... FABULOUS!
Spoiler : :
Charles Fuzz is back!? I assume that Regrets will happens before Recovery
User avatar
Gizmological
Posts: 232
Joined: Sun Jan 11, 2015 9:44 pm
Gender: Male
Spoken languages: English
Location: England

Re: [T] AA: Beyond the Shadows ●●●○○

Post by Gizmological »

Super legenda wrote:
Spoiler : :
Charles Fuzz is back!? I assume that Regrets will happens before Recovery
Yes, Regrets is set about a year before the rest of the game, so expect to see a lot of returning characters.

Speaking of which, the case is up now! Big thanks to Parafin for playtesting. I hope you all enjoy.
Post Reply