Well, there isn’t much to write for such a short five minutes demo. We are only introduced here to the basic premise. The idea can be executed well, despite being a rather standard fare. But because the idea is a standard fare, you need to bring us something that will hook the player. But there is no such a thing.
Franziska also comes out as shallow. Yes, she is a flawed character that wasn't particularly well developed in JfA. But at the end of JfA, she had a perfect opportunity to prove a link between Phoenix and de Killer, proving Matt’s guilt, humiliating both Phoenix and Miles, and dooming Maya. And she refused to do it and delivered to Phoenix and Miles every other evidence. You are not giving her proper justice by reducing her into “I am full of myself and I don’t get what kind of moral lesson I am supposed to learn!”.
Not to mention, there isn’t any reason for the player to follow her story, besides “let’s see if she ever learns anything, lol”. In Turnabout Siblings Angela Light is at her worst, but she still loves her younger brother, her first client, and genuinely wants to save him (and also to humiliate everyone involved in accusing her brother, but nobody is perfect and certainly not her). Here, Franizksa has zero redeeming qualities, despite the story being set literally right after the very moment of her established her biggest, most notable, redeeming quality.
Gamer2002 wrote:Well, there isn’t much to write for such a short five minutes demo.
Yeah. But anyway, you need to improve your writing and characterization here.