[T] Apollo Justice - Ace Attorney 2 - Prologue Out ○○○○○

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Re: [T] The Heartbreaking Turnabout - 4/10 Still Testing! ☆○

Post by kwando1313 »

bp pls
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Re: [T] The Heartbreaking Turnabout - 4/10 Still Testing! ☆○

Post by ApolloGrimoire »

Assistance required
Scratch that, I'm begging, before my hard drive dies.

I'm in need of a writer who speaks in mystic riddles. :mia:

Credit will be given. :)
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Re: [T] The Heartbreaking Turnabout - 4/10 Still Testing! ☆○

Post by Gav »

Mystic riddles? SIGN ME UP!
gotMLK7 wrote:This is a list where NBA Jam beats Mega Man 2.

ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE.
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Re: [T] The Heartbreaking Turnabout - 4/10 Still Testing! ☆○

Post by ApolloGrimoire »

Consider yourself signed.

PM me, so I can' keep it a secret from everyone else, cept you. :)
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Re: [T] The Heartbreaking Turnabout - 4/10 Still Testing! ☆○

Post by kwando1313 »

It's a secret to everybody.
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Re: [T] The Heartbreaking Turnabout - 4/10 Still Testing! ☆○

Post by ApolloGrimoire »

Thank you Farrooq.

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Re: [T] The Heartbreaking Turnabout - 4/10 Still Testing! ☆○

Post by Bad Player »

I did the investigation on Saturday, and I intended to do the trial yesterday but I got sick, and now my schedule is picking up again a bit but I should be able to have it finished by the end of the week.
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Re: [T] The Heartbreaking Turnabout - 4/10 Still Testing! ☆○

Post by ApolloGrimoire »

That's good to know. :)

Um... TwiGav?

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Re: [T] The Heartbreaking Turnabout - 4/10 Still Testing! ☆○

Post by Bad Player »

Welp, let's just get into it, like last time. I didn't bother bolding this time since, well... I thought most of the stuff was worth changing/addressing ^^"
Spoiler : The Heartbreaking Turnabout :
  • Some sort of noise when the investigation finished loading would be nice…
  • That first timestamp is kind of unnecessary, since it’s just the intro
  • You have a type-writer voice in the “Tru--" line in the prologue
  • I think I’d prefer 12:05 over 0:05
  • You need sfx for the flashback to 2-2
  • There’s two spaces before “not again”, which should probably be capitalized
  • It… isn’t very clear to me that Nick went into the room and saw the crime scene. It sounded to me like he called Ema right after remembering 2-2… Making it clearer that Nick went into the room and came back out would be best. (A custom image or something of the crime scene would be ideal, but I know those are hard to come by, so just a bit more text to clarify it will be fine.)
  • ”Amazingly despite with what we saw, they were all still alive...” Need a comma after “Amazingly.”
  • ”All me and Ema could do was hope, and pray that they would make it...”
  • ”(It sounds like just making it through the night is a miracle in its own right...)”
  • ”She's suffered quite a mild concussion and a head wound but thankfully they're both not serious.” “quite a mild” is a bit of an oxymoron/contradiction, and there should be a comma before “but”
  • ”She is but she's still feeling the effects of her injury, do you want to talk to her?” There should be a comma before “but”, and the comma that’s in there should be a period.
  • ”The nursewho treated her says you can if you want to, but I want to see her as well." You need a space between “nurse” and “who”
  • ”Oh you mean Trucy and Apollo!” Need a comma after “Oh”
  • ”They're being put in a private room?”
  • ”There's a security camera in there so they're being closely monitored.” Also need a comma after “there”
  • ”A-Anyway like I said we can only have a few minutes for now.” “like I said” needs a comma before and after it.
  • Okay. The past 10 comments have been literally nothing but typos and grammar errors. I’m not going to point out any more, and I suggest you have someone go through and proofread all this again. (Especially someone who's good with commas. Definitely commas. You also have some missed capitalization, mostly after ellipses.)
  • It would be really nice if there were talk, present, and examine convos in all these locations. Right now, literally the only thing to do is move from one location to the next; I feel like the investigation menus are pointless, and this should just be one really long scene instead if that’s what it all boils down to.
  • Man, “filicide” sounds so unnatural. Just put murder.
  • It… seems pretty unrealistic to leave an attempted murder suspect alone in a room with her alleged victims >_>
  • ”And if anything bad does happen, they'll contact me and Phoenix right away.” Thalassa is shown during this line instead of Ema
  • LolGummy, complaining that Nick is treating his old friend poorly when you get his name wrong
  • ”Do you look back and think if Maya were there, do you think the outcome would've been different?” having two “think”s in the sentence is kind of awkward
  • ”8 Years Ago, 4:30 PM” seems a bit… awkward to me. I mean, you’re doing this huge long not-quite-exact 8 years ago, and then the exact time. I would either take out the 4:30 PM, or make it “[Date] 4:30 PM / Wright & Co. Law Offices / 8 Years Ago”
  • ”I’m still a teenager! I’m not mature enough to do this on my own… which is why I need the help of a 10-year old girl! :D
  • I like “later that day” more than “sometime later”
  • Gummy doesn’t know the truth about Nick’s “forged evidence” yet? o.O
  • I… can’t talk to Gummy anymore? Not even old convos? o.O
  • Good job on including all those present convos for Gummy
  • Aaaaaand I can’t go back to the hospital
  • Wait… What about dropping the locket with the broach? O.o That came out of nowhere, and then it seemed to not be true in the end anyway.
  • I’m not sure what it was, but Kristoph’s black psyche-locks looked a bit… off to me (although Thalassa’s were fine). Also I like the older!Pearl phone call sprite things.
  • And… all the talk convos are gone…
  • It should be “Wright Anything Agency”, not just “Anything Agency”
  • When you examine the law books, you have “intimidatnig", and “revising” is not the proper word in this context.
  • Wait what… When Trucy tells Ema she thinks Lamiroir is her mom, Trucy just says “during her tour” and suddenly Ema knows Trucy is talking about Lamiroir without having actually specifcied that she's talking about Lamiroir? o.O
  • …What. What. WHAT. Nick randomly passes out, and when he wakes up Maya and Pearl, who haven’t aged at all, are randomly there, and Nick isn’t surprised by that, and Maya and Pearl already know about the case, and Pearl has The Thinker clock that should be in policy custody because both of them ended up being murder weapons? Just… wat.
  • And how does Maya know Klavier is the prosecutor?
  • I also have to wonder why forensics didn’t find a bloodstain that was in such an obvious place…
  • Did… Nick faint or something when he went to the Hickfield Clinic? Also where did Maya and Pearl go?
  • Hooray for magic hallucinations giving us the answer to the mystery. Also in the conversation with Krissy (I wonder why all his nametags say “???”) there’s red-text instead of orange-text one time (start with “I did commit”)
  • ”manhandled”
  • Wait when did Maya say she can’t make it to the trial? O.o
  • (Also what’s the “four more” Krissy mentioned? Only Polly and Trucy were attacked, and even if you count Lamiroir that’s only 3)

    Onto the trial!
  • Looking at it while the trial loads, the White Envelope envelop pic is kind of… low-quailty
  • So I just read Lamiroir’s letter, and… it says the letter is supposed to reach Nick a few days before Lamiroir arrives, but it also tells Nick to go to the airport as soon as he gets it. Wat.
  • It’s kind of awkward how when you’re talking about Maya, the pronouns abruptly switch from referring to Maya to referring to Lamiroir.
  • Conveniently delivered plot device, hurrah!
  • Oh, so the killer faxed or photocopied the letter or something and sent it to Nick too (which is also how the killer would know where Lamiroir would be). I was wondering why it had specifically said “white” envelope, and was in the court record.
  • You have Nick's sprites talk when he’s thinking… quite often during the trial.
  • First the thing about Mia’s murder 10 years ago, now Lana… why is there so much off-topic conversation going on? >_>
  • ”Found in Lamiror's right hand. It bears their mother's fingerprints.” Who is “their”, exactly?
  • Man, I feel like half of the evidence could be removed/consolidated into another piece
  • It could very well be a problem on my end, but there’s no sfx for WITNESS TESTIMONY/CROSS EXAMINATION or music during either of them.
  • Yes, Nick, Ema was busy investigating the crime at the precinct before you even called to report it >_>
  • ”Once I managed to calm him down, he "sort of" told me what happened at we got there in three minutes.” Who’s “we”? Is it just Ema? Then how did she get to the place so fast? Was it Ema and Nick? Ema met Nick right outside his office, why did it take 3 minutes to walk into the next room?
  • And we’re back to bringing up irrelevant cases >_>
  • A person was found unconscious with a gun in their hand? THERE IS CLEARLY NO EXPLANATION EXCEPT FOR THAT THEY ARE GUILTY
  • So I can’t point out the fact that the prosecution has no explanation for Lamiroir’s wound… Also, the contradiction is that Ema said only 2 bullets were fired when, in fact, 3 were… but that actually isn’t Ema’s amended statement at all.
  • Why would missing Apollo/Trucy with one shot cause the bullet to not be found at the crime scene…? (It should just be there, somewhere at the crime scene.)
  • It looks like you display a bullet when you mean to display Lamiroir’s medical report
  • You say [p30] instead of [#p30] once
  • So why was Lana here anyway…?
  • And so what was learned from Ema’s testimony is… everything that was already in the weapon report
  • Did Klavier call Lamiroir “Fraulein” in the games…? I don’t feel like he would…
  • Aaaaand no reaction to young!Ema in the co-council convo. Nick, stop going crazy and having hallucinations. …Or if you ARE going to have hallucinations, at least be consistent in your reaction to them.
  • And once again, you don’t add in the contradictory information when you amend the testimony. And random Edgeworth penalty convo, what? And how come ONLY the “Mysterious Letter” works? Heck, the thing Nick first mentions in the objection convo is the red envelope, not the pink letter.
  • Wait, the white letter is typed on the computer? It doesn’t say that anywhere, and the font is very handwritten-y…
  • And now when presenting the mysterious letter would make sense, it only accepts the red envelope
  • Silly Nick, trying to argue that Lamiroir didn’t send out the letter even though she knows she did
  • How do you steal a single letter from the post office, anyway…?
  • Also, I thought you “send” a letter
  • And, um, where exactly did we ever find out that the red envelope had been sent out the night after the crime?
  • Wait, what does Lamiroir’s true identity have to do with the letters AT ALL? And what does Lamiroir’s involvement in Vera’s trial have to do with this AT ALL?
  • Lamiroir said she was “killed” in the MG-13 incident, said she was the trigger of it, said she was the wife of Zak Enigmar, and said she’s Trucy’s mom… and they STILL don’t fully realize who she is?
  • Why is Udgey shocked that Lamiroir is Polly+Trucy’s mother when she had said it just a few textboxes ago?
  • The forensics team AND Ema AND Nick AND imaginary!Maya+Pearl all missed some sort of vital evidence when they independently investigated the office before? >_>
  • Some sfx in the flashback for Zeus’ death would be nice
  • Displaying the evidence doesn’t really work when first giving the testimony
  • And… I’m still wondering how EVERYONE missed FIVE pieces of evidence. I sure hope it was planted there after the fact, or else we’re going to have a problem…
  • You’d think getting hit in the wrist with a bullet would damage Polly’s wrist…
  • The broach was found in “the bottom right”… of what? Also, if the broach was (apparently) torn from her clothes, why don’t Lamiroir’s clothes have any cloth ripped from them or whatever?
  • Why doesn't Nick completely freak out the moment he sees the de Killer card?
  • And Nick STILL doesn’t realize he’s having hallucinations or anything.
  • Of course, the whole post office thing has been completely forgotten…
  • How come Ema has a voiced objection when she didn’t earlier? (Although that could’ve been a problem on my end)
  • Wait… what. How we were supposed to figure out that Nurse Joy was Polly’s adopted mother? And, er, also Thalassa’s adopted mother too, it seems…? But yeah, that flashback had never happened before, so… no idea how the player was ever supposed to figure that out. (I figured it out by cheating.)
  • In the testimony about Lamiroir’s past, you can go from the Allegro to Moderato if you go back and press some earlier frames.
  • So on the statement “I don’t know WHO attacked me” we present… WHY she was attacked. Wat.
  • That… seems like a pretty weak reason for Valant to want to kill Thalassa ^^”
  • Solitary confinement for evidence tampering? Pfff
  • So… who exactly was recording Valant’s death again? O.o (and why)
  • When Lamiroir shows her bracelet to Polly, it’s scratched (unless this is intentional, for whatever reason)
  • And… what difference does it make if both Trucy and Polly know that Lamiroir is their mother? (Plus, wasn’t she planning on telling both of them?)
  • Yes, Lamiroir, we do think you would deliberately lie in your trial for double attempted filicide >_>
  • And real!Maya finally shows up, huzzah
  • In the press of the third statement of the final testimony, the flashback background looks like it’s Nick’s office during the day rather than night.
  • Man, that contradiction was pretty bleh. Who cares if she thought Polly was shot twice? Besides, the fact that the third bullet wasn’t found in anyone’s body, and that Polly’s bracelet had a scratch/dent from a bullet makes it reaaaaaally obvious. Plus, Thalassa doesn’t really explicitly say that she thought Polly was shot twice. (I mean, she sorta-kinda implies that maybe she thought Polly was hit with the first bullet, but that doesn’t say anything about what she thought about the second and third bullets.)
  • So we’re getting hyped up about the final present, but I’m not even really sure what exactly we’re supposed to be proving here…
  • Welp, starting to look like those 5 pieces of evidence were planted at the crime scene after the fact. (…Or at least the bracelet. How/why would you take and then put back the bullet, for example?)
  • …Wait, how/why is the fact that only Lamiroir’s prints are on the revolver new? I mean, haven’t they been talking about how her prints are on the gun the entire trial? Wouldn’t they have known from testing it at that point that only her prints were on the gun?
  • How was putting the bracelet at the crime scene fabricating evidence, anyway? Heck, it (apparently) was an important aspect of the crime, but we wouldn’t have known about it at all unless it had been placed there.
  • Aaaaaaaaaand the trial isn’t even over.
  • Aaaaaaaaaand Nick is suddenly dead.
Let's just get this out of the way
Spoiler : Verdict :
☆ The QA inspection is complete. This case is not good enough to be featured. Sorry!
So...
Spoiler : Comments :
Here are the major problems:
-Grammar. It’s probably best to have someone go over everything for you again. There are definitely cases with worse grammar, but the errors are frequent enough to make it a distraction. Especially missing/misplaced commas.

-The investigation is horribly horribly linear. The examine/move/talk/present menu could be removed in maybe all but 2 or 3 locations and everything would play out exactly the same. You just do all the talk convos, go to the next location, rinse and repeat. There’s literally no room for anything else. The fact that talk convos tend to disappear after you’ve done all of them (although not even consistently) and moving between locations is often only one-way, it really hammers in the linearity.

-There's so many flashbacks. There's just lots and lots of flashbacks to the canon games. And, honestly, it makes the case kind of boring because we already know everything that's being said. In the investigation, it felt like half the time spent was just flashbacks to events in the canon games or stuff that was established earlier in the case. I know you need to establish what everyone was doing for the past 8 years, but it still makes it feel really draggy. It would feel a lot better if you made the flashbacks a bit more streamlined, and focused a bit more on the current crime/situation. (You could also move the flashback stuff to the present convos; this way it’s all still there, but the players only have to go through it if they want to.) In the trial the flashbacks aren't quite as prevalent, but it still feels back because they're getting really off-topic for no reason. I mean, SL-9 has nothing to do with the current case. And for the canon cases, you don't need to go so in-depth into them; most of the players are going to know them. I'd also scrap all the incident names save DL-6 and SL-9. (You could also keep MG-13 if you want, since it's so important to the case.) It's kind of confusing to have "PW-3" and "GS-2" and "AI-16" just thrown out of nowhere; call them "Maya's first trial" and "Machi's trial" and so on, or if you want to sound technical/formal, "State v. Fey", "State v. Tobaye", etc.

-The hallucinations are kind of... bleh. When Maya/Pearl show up in the investigation, it feels really bad. I guess it sort of makes sense in hindsight, but... it feels really bad when it happens. I'm also not sure why Nick doesn't really Krissy is a hallucination when he has 2 nurses yelling at him that he's hallucinating. Or later on in court when everyone tells him he was hallucinating Godot. Or right after that when he tells himself that it makes no sense for him to have seen both Diego and Godot. There's also the fact that he had realized he was hallucinating near the beginning of the trial when Maya showed up for just a moment. I would try to make the transitions in and out of the hallucination segments a bit better, and also the ones that are just completely insane and make no sense and should cause Nick to immediately realize he's hallucinating. (For instance, having Ema being your co-council while cross-examining Ema.)

-The logic in the trial is kind of muddy. You have contradictions based on things not in the actual statement. You have contradictions based on information not in the evidence description. You have contradictions based on information the player was never given. You have contradictions that only accept one piece of evidence when they are clearly several that would work. Everyone also seems to be holding the idiot ball. There's thing that should be immediately obvious, but they don't realize until the end of the trial. They abruptly switch from talking about one topic to another. (What happened with Lamiroir's letters?!) They will say something 3+ times in a row, and the other characters still don't understand. It's not that the thread of logic isn't there--it just needs to be cleaned up and streamlined.


However, as in the prologue, everything was presented very well. You took the time to get lots of flashback sprites/backgrounds, you have nice custom evidence pics, and the custom Thalassa sprites are really good. I personally interpret some of the characters a bit different, but the characters are all consistent within the game, which is what's more important. There's good stuff here, it's just bogged down by lots of grammar mistakes, constant flashbacks to stuff we already know, and muddy logic. I wouldn’t say that the investigation needs to be "reconfigured" rather than redone. Most of the dialogue is fine (except for grammar errors) and can stay; things just need to be moved around. First, you need to figure out a way to make things less linear for the player. It doesn’t need to be super-open-ended, but just a little freedom would be nice. It’d also be nice if you moved a good chunk of the flashbacks and backstory to present convos in order to make the game not feel as dragged down by things we already basically knew. In the trial it'd also be nice to remove/streamline the flashbacks. Then make some of the parts where contradictions are really vague clearer, and clean up the parts where it takes forever to say one little thing. Say things once, and say them clearly and succinctly.


Also, even if you do make all these changes... I don't think this can be featured. Like I said when we had talked, you can break a case up into separate, full trials and have those trials featured separately. The Phoenix Wright Arc is not a full trial; it's simply the first day of a trial, and individual trial days can't be featured.
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Re: [T] The Heartbreaking Turnabout - 4/10 Still Testing! ●○

Post by ApolloGrimoire »

Thanks for the QA. :)

Unfortunately, the Hard Drive on my PC finally gave up the ghost before you posted this. :(

So I won't be able to do those fixes until I get a new drive and a new Windows 7 OS. :cry:

I do intend to do those fixes.

I would use my notebook, but Firefox crashes at random when I'm using the editor.
Spoiler : :
Kwando, at this time, could you help with these grammar issues please?
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Case 1 - Nursing the Turnabout: Trial Former, Trial Latter
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Re: [T] The Heartbreaking Turnabout - 4/10 Still Testing! ●○

Post by kwando1313 »

Spoiler : :
I'll try to when I have time... (Which hopefully will be sooner or later?)
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Re: [T] The Heartbreaking Turnabout - 4/10 Still Testing! ●○

Post by ApolloGrimoire »

Spoiler : :
Cool.

I don't know how long I'll be away from this. Good job I'm glad I made you a collaborator.

Edit: It's working again. The only problem is that it's so inconsistent whether it wants to work or not. It's really annoying. :tigre:
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Case 1 - Nursing the Turnabout: Trial Former, Trial Latter
Greatest Weakness - Mis;use of; Semi;colons
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Re: [T] The Heartbreaking Turnabout - On Temp Hiatus ●○○○

Post by ApolloGrimoire »

Can't find a good (bad) news everyone image, oh well.

Yeah... just before I read BP's huge QA report, my hard drive is really giving me nightmares on when it wants to work on not. :sawhit:

Just before Christmas it started to play up, but around January, it went away. Only for it to come back near the end of February and really give me hassle. Internal clicking noise. Not good all. :tigre:

Good job I got all this game's custom content backed up in dropbox, phew. :wink:

So with that, I have to put this game on hold until I get a new drive and Windows 7 64-bit. (Since that's what my system summary says) :random:

When I get a fresh drive and all booted up. I will tackle those issues that BP has given me to sort out and when this game is fully finished, I do intend to get this featured one way or another. :idea:

I do have a notebook, but Firefox will randomly crash when it goes over 3000 frames. It did that when I was fixing Day 2 Trial before Xmas 2011. :tigre:
Like the creator of Final Fantasy, I'm better at telling a story.
If you need help animating Ace Attorney sprite sheets, I'm your man.
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Case 1 - Nursing the Turnabout: Trial Former, Trial Latter
Greatest Weakness - Mis;use of; Semi;colons
Phantom

Re: [T] The Heartbreaking Turnabout - On Temp Hiatus ●○○○

Post by Phantom »

MS gives out the Win __ iso files online somewhere in case you dont have a recovery dvd on you.
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Re: [T] The Heartbreaking Turnabout - On Temp Hiatus ●○○○

Post by ApolloGrimoire »

I do know that... :)

But I don't like vista... :tigre: at all... :sideglance2:
Like the creator of Final Fantasy, I'm better at telling a story.
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Case 1 - Nursing the Turnabout: Trial Former, Trial Latter
Greatest Weakness - Mis;use of; Semi;colons
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