[T][AU]Shattered Glass ○★○○○ (Case 0 Teaser available)

[Enthalpy]

At long last, the review I promised of the revised version! I apologize for the delay with writing this.

I agree with Ferdielance for the general summary.

It's an excellent "tutorial-style" case, with a level of difficulty that nicely matches the first cases of the games without being too blindingly obvious at every step... I very much look forward to the continuation of this series.

However, I do have some more specific thoughts...

Spoiler : :

* The final puzzle is greatly improved from the original. Good to see. All of the contradictions and presents are fair in general and work for the most part. I list some exceptions below.
* The transition to v6 also seems to have gone smoothly. I'm impressed by the use of fades and the thought route graphics. v6 is... tricky, when it comes to fades.
* Having a present in place in case the player tries to object to Ema's testimony is good.
* From what I've seen, the Alternate Universe is done simply but competently so far. We have a rough understanding of what the differences are, and it is from here that the details can be added in future cases. It is, however, enough to maintain the player's interest. Good so far, but be sure to show us more in future installments of the series.
* Larry's introduction to the court feels verbose, the co-council conversation for the second cross-examination feels awkward, and the cell phone dial tone sound effect plays for too long.
* The second and three testimonies feel off. The second testimony doesn't have a point besides allowing a transition to the third testimony, and you underplay the drama in the third testimony. Consider having Edgeworth reference the second contradiction later to support the idea that Butz is guilty. For the third testimony, make the tension evident in each press conversation.
* It feels strange that we never hear from Sahwit about what happened after finding the body until before the last cross-examination. Could that be added in somewhere?
* The court seems too ready to accept Edgeworth's theory about Butz's guilt. At least have Edgeworth ask Butz to show his wound, and have the judge seem more passive and resigned right before the last testimony. It read to me as if he believed in Sahwit's innocence, which I don't think you want.
* Your personalities could be played more strongly. In particular, I'd like to see more of Sahwit being anxious and irritable, and more of Payne's bloated ego. Payne should lack courtroom presence, not character! The other characters also shoudl react more to Butz's madness. Why is the court not stunned and shocked that he pointed a toy gun at Sahwit?!
* There are some more technical notes I can point out once everything else is fixed. It's mainly places with slightly awkward dialogue, as well as missing periods.

It was a good trial overall.

[TheDoctor]

Thanks for reviewing, I appreciate the help.

Spoiler : Responses to points 5-9 :

[*]I'll have to see what I can do to tighten up the dialogue at that point. I just got rid of four frames, so it should help a little bit at least. I'm assuming the last frame of the second co-council convo was the most awkward part, so I got rid of that too. I'll have to work on the ringtone later though.
[*]Although I would argue that the point of the second testimony is to have Butz try to pin the blame on Sawhit by painting him as the murderer, I can see where you're coming from on this. Thanks to your tutorial about good CE design, I think I may have a way to fix it now too along with the third testimony, or at the very least provide a more plausible explanation on Butz's part as to why he made the contradiction in the first place.
[*] Shouldn't be too hard. I'll try and work that in there.
[*] I will be working on this part as well. I already know how I want to show where the wound is located, I just need to add a few dialogue frames. I also reworked the Judge's statement before Butz made his objection. Hopefully, it should sound more like the Judge just wants to get the case wrapped up than anything else.
[*] Thank you, I have a couple of ideas of how I can work with Sawhit. As for Payne, I am curious as to which official case you would say has the best example of Payne's bloated ego. Inspiration is always helpful. As a side note regarding the toy gun, I noticed I majorly screwed up there. Edgeworth finds out about the toy gun in an optional press convo, but then he references it in the mandatory thought route. Whoops! I should be able to fix that though when I rework the second/third testimony.

[Reverie]

What what.
Oh, brilliant. The case I was making is called "Turnabout Reversal," too.
Uhm. "Reversal of the Turnabout" it is then, assuming that you don't think that it's too similar.

[TheDoctor]

That will be fine. The Shattered Glass portion of the name will help differentiate it enough after that.

[lumine]

Im back from the Dead, Doctor. Can I help you in any way with the series again?

[Nearavex]

United States of Japan, JFA-1 Case...

[TheDoctor]

@lumine: Right now, I'm working on fixing up Turnabout Reversal to make the quality as high as I can. Based on recent feedback, I'm going to be reworking the second and third cross-examinations (and the first, to a lesser extent), and I'd also like to show more of Sawhit's anxiousness and irritability as well as Payne's bloated ego.

The main points I could use help on are Sawhit and Payne. Also, Enthalpy mentioned there were several places with missing periods, so I could use your help fixing those if you happen to notice any while working on anything else.

Haven't really started work on Shattered Glass: Turnabout Prosecutor since I'm still trying to figure out the mystery aspect of it, but I'll let you know when I get started.

@Nearavex: Lol, yes, The United States of Japan thing is my way of reconciling the differences in the Japanese and localized versions of Ace Attorney. It also helps handwave the crazy legal system. It's also a shout-out to a certain anime series.

[Nearavex]

People complain about this, but I never really felt like there was "guilty until proven innocent" ever in use in the Ace Attorney series. Still, I think it might be kinda amusing to have something like this in a fan work, I guess?

[TheDoctor]

I think you got it backwards. In the official games, you don't win the case until you provide definitive proof that your client is innocent. The only exception is 4-4 during the Jurist Trial. This would point to a "guilty until proven innocent" convention. An "innocent until proven guilty" paradigm would mean you only have to provide reasonable doubt as to the defendant's guilt, with the burden of proof resting with the prosecution.

[Nearavex]

This is pretty much a fan opinion, just like how some fangame creators try to imitate "judge is unfair and favors prosecution" to the quite ridiculous degree, really.

We don't win a case until we find the culprit, but that's simply because of how mystery stories work - that wouldn't really be satisfying end, would it? On the other hand, we never really hear anything nearly close to "guilty until proven innocent" ever in the series themselves.

Not to mention, that given the fact that testimony is acknowledged by the court as proof, there usually is evidence proving defendant's guilt at most times - even if it's only witness's testimony.

[TheDoctor]

You raise a good point about the witness testimony, but on the other hand, if witness testimony counts as proof, for every witness the prosecution has who saw the defendant commit the murder, the defense could produce 100 witnesses who didn't see the defendant commit the murder. Lol

[Nearavex]

...You know, I just imagined the defense calling 100 witnesses to the stand and then:

"- Did you see the defendant murder the victim?"
- No.
- Did you see the murder at all?
- No.
- ... *defense penalized*"

I think the point is hearing out these who saw the murder happen, not those who didn't...
The real problem Phoenix has is that he doesn't have any witnesses with testimonies supporting his case, which is why he most often ends up cross-examining prosecution's witness, instead of calling his own.

[TheDoctor]

I think we have a penalty convo for Turnabout Prosecutor.

[AlephOzone]

Ok so, I played this some time ago, and I though it was awesome! Right now I can't give better criticism because i played this like 2 days ago and my memory is terrible and I don't have the time to replay it now, so I'll play it again some other time so I can give proper criticism.

But I have to ask. How come Payne is still a prosecutor? Honestly, I expected the tutorial prosecutor to be Grossberg.

[TheDoctor]

Quite honestly, it's because I forgot Grossberg was a defense attorney when I first made this. Maybe you'll see him in the next game's tutorial after I finish making the rest of this one.