The Abandoned Turnabout (A comic)

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FaffleMaster
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The Abandoned Turnabout (A comic)

Post by FaffleMaster »

Since I decided that I have a ways to go before I can make a complete story with the trial creator, I instead decided to make a short (Or long) webcomicy thing for you all. So far, here is a cover/ teaser thing for your pleasure.
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When a new page is released this topic will be edited to include it. I hope you enjoy!

Everything past this point is comic page

Also, something I forgot to mention: Critiques are very, very welcome. If I get ANYTHING wrong about Phoenix pleeeeease tell me. Then I can fix it.
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First Page
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Second Page
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Third Page
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Fourth Page (OH GOD PHOENIX'S HAIR WHAT IS EVEN)(Okay edited. It's not a very good edit but I hope it clears up some confusion)
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Bonus Pagey thinger (This is to make the introductions seem less fast. It won't COMPLETELY fix it, but I hope it helps a little)
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Fifth Page (A wild detective appears! AND HIS FACE IS A BASEBALL)
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Sixth Page (A.K.A. the page where I finally decide it's okay to draw sill faces)
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Seventh Page
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Eighth Page (Phoenix has had enough with the smug prosecutors.)
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Ninth Page ( I don't have anything funny to say about this page)
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Tenth Page ( OH GOD I AM SO SORRY FOR THIS TERRIBLE BLOOD WILL YOU EVER FORGIVE ME.)
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Eleventh Page (Now kids, don't make fun of the forensics man because of his dot eyes. He has a soul too)
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Twelfth Page (THE FORENSICS MAN! HE DOES HAVE EYES! whaaaaaaaaaaaat)(Also, I'm not normally one to compliment myself... but I really like how I did Phoenix's face in that last panel)
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Thirteenth Page (Y'know... I had to think really hard about what really goes down in Phoenix's head when he's about to meet a client.)
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Here's a special break from our usual program to display a younger Devin Ridet. CHECKIT
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And now back to our regular scheduling

Page 14
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Page 15
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Page 16
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Page 17
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Page 18
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Page 19
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20th page WOOHOO! :D
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21 page
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Page 22
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Page 23
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Page 24
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Page 25
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Page 26
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Page 27
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Last edited by FaffleMaster on Fri Jun 29, 2012 5:26 pm, edited 28 times in total.
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gotMLK7
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Re: The Abandoned Turnabout (A comic)

Post by gotMLK7 »

Man, this is pretty cool so far! Not too much to it yet, of course, but I really like the art style. Phoenix's faces make me laugh, and I love the baseball-scars on the detective. It is moving a little fast at the moment, I guess, already introducing the new prosecutor, but this is looking very promising so far. Keep up the good work!
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Hersh/Fiendy has credit for the amazing GiGi pics and enigma has credit for the adorable Kenshin Mega Man sprite!

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FaffleMaster
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Re: The Abandoned Turnabout (A comic)

Post by FaffleMaster »

Thanka you! Yeah, pacing is definately not my best thing. DX
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Trybien
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Re: The Abandoned Turnabout (A comic)

Post by Trybien »

Gosh, this is hilarious XD (Thats a good thing XD ) I love Ridet so far XD
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Kroki
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Re: The Abandoned Turnabout (A comic)

Post by Kroki »

Caution on page 4, we don't know in which order to read the pannels. Crossing pannels is something to avoid at all costs.

At all costs. U_U
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Whirlwind
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Re: The Abandoned Turnabout (A comic)

Post by Whirlwind »

It's great, but, as MLK stated, the pacing is fast. You could probably afford to add about 3 extra pages in between what you already have.
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AABattery
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Re: The Abandoned Turnabout (A comic)

Post by AABattery »

Lol, this art style makes Phoenix look even more like Roger Smith... XD

Would be awesome if he says, "It's SHOWTIME!" before going into court.
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Lind
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Re: The Abandoned Turnabout (A comic)

Post by Lind »

Echoing what everyone else said. Great art style and writing, but the pacing is poor.
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FaffleMaster
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Re: The Abandoned Turnabout (A comic)

Post by FaffleMaster »

I might add some pages in between. I will fix page four! Thanks for the critiques and what not. :D
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FaffleMaster
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Re: The Abandoned Turnabout (A comic)

Post by FaffleMaster »

Fixed page four sort of, time to do a couple in between pages to fix the pacing a bit.
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Trybien
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Re: The Abandoned Turnabout (A comic)

Post by Trybien »

Is the forensics guy a ginger? I swear he has no soul :awesome:

Really like how this is coming out!
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FaffleMaster
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Re: The Abandoned Turnabout (A comic)

Post by FaffleMaster »

Of course he's a ginger. What else would he be? Blonde? No, that hair color is reserved to baseball head detectives.
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Whirlwind
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Re: The Abandoned Turnabout (A comic)

Post by Whirlwind »

This is pretty cool so far! I still think you could do with maybe one or two more filler pages, but it's definitely better now.
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FaffleMaster
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Re: The Abandoned Turnabout (A comic)

Post by FaffleMaster »

Alright. I'll get on a couple more filler pages after I'm done with this next pagey.
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FaffleMaster
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Re: The Abandoned Turnabout (A comic)

Post by FaffleMaster »

Out of curiosity, how many people would want to see a picture of a newbie prosecutor Ridet?
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