DR Fanfiction: One Thousand Miles 'til Despair City

Showcase your artistic creations, whether that be sprites, music, drawings or literature, and whether they be related to the Ace Attorney universe or not.

Moderators: EN - Assistant Moderators, EN - Forum Moderators

Post Reply
User avatar
Mono
Posts: 6231
Joined: Sat Jul 16, 2011 9:34 pm
Gender: Male
Spoken languages: German, English
Location: The Purest Sky and Sea

DR Fanfiction: One Thousand Miles 'til Despair City

Post by Mono »

This is a DR fanfiction I started some days ago - for me it also doubles as writing experience.

This fanfic ignores the canon Dangan Ronpa timeline, but if it would have to fit in anywhere, I'd assume it'd be a long, long while after DR1 and SDR2. Either way, there shouldn't really be any connection to either games (except for a character and some small details), so it's safe to read for anybody, really.

Enjoy, I guess.
Spoiler : Prologue :
Prologue - Prepare for Despair


Hope's Peak Private Academy.

Image

Image

In the core of the city lies the institute titled "wondrous" and "miraculous" by people.

It's said that whoever graduates here will definitely find success in life.

Very few people are able to attend this school, and they are picked out by Hope's Peak itself - it's an honor to be here.

To attend this school, there are two criteria that have to be filled:

1. "You must be currently enrolled at a high school"

2. "You must super-excel at your field of expertise"

And here I was, standing at the front gate.


Image
I guess I should introduce myself. My name is Kin Geijutsu (欽 芸術). The field of expertise I excel in would be painting. So, I guess you could call me a Super High-school Level Painter… sounds about right.

Though it's not like I picked my talent myselves - in fact, I didn't even choose to be here.

I never wanted to go here in the first place.

It wasn't my own choice to enroll in Hope's Peak. I've obtained an invitation from them, so I was like "Hooray, who cares, though", and the people that keep me in the hellhole that I have to call home, apparently, immediately interjected and forced me to go to this place.

Well, whatever. This better be worth it.

I didn't even bother to research stuff - not even on my classmates. I'm running into the unknown, but I've never been one who holds back or fears the unknown. I boldly run in and handle it the best I can.

So, uh… 8:00 AM in the respective classroom, was it? … Not like I know which Classroom, though…

I don't even know the time. Forgot to bring my watch and all.

You can tell that my preparation work is just utterly amazing. It's as great as my own will of coming here.

Sometimes, I wish I wouldn't be living in a family like this.

… Oh, will you quit your complaining already, Kin? I'm annoying myself here. Goddamnit.

Alright. May as well just enter now, right? … Whatever, let's just go—


Girl: "Hey!"

Who's this?

Girl: "Phew! I'm not late, then… unless you're late… are we late!?"

The girl hastily checked her watch. Ugh… not exactly the kind of person I want to deal with right now.

Girl: "Phew! We still have an hour!"

Geez, I came that early?

Kin Geijutsu: "That's nice."

Girl: "I'm glad I don't have to enter the building alone! Because you're here, I mean."

Wait, whoa whoa whoa, she's gonna be coming along?

Well, okay, not a big surprise… she does look like a student alright.


Kin Geijutsu: "Uh-huh."


Image
Eiko Kouun: "Anyway, I'm Eiko Kouun (栄子 幸運), and I've been admitted to this school as Super High-school Level Good Luck!

Wait… what!? What kind of ludicrous talent is Good Luck?

Eiko Kouun:: "I'm here pretty much by chance. Every year, they pick a random high-school student, and deem them lucky enough to obtain the privilege to attend Hope's Peak! Wonderful, right?"

Kin Geijutsu: "Totally… congratulations, I guess?"

Eiko Kouun:: "Aww, thanks, uh… wait, what's your name?"

Kin Geijutsu: "Oh, I'm Kin Geijutsu. Super High-school Level Painter."

Eiko Kouun:: "You're the Kin Geijutsu!? I've seen one of your paintings! It was sooo good! I loved it. It's great to have you here, then! Show me some paintings from you some time, alright?"

Kin Geijutsu: "Uh, sure, if I ever find the time."

More like if I never find the time…

Eiko Kouun:: "Anyway, about time we go in, right?"

Kin Geijutsu: "Wait, didn't you say earlier that we still had an hour?"

Eiko Kouun:: "It never hurts to be early, Kin-san! I come late so very often… but I can't do that when I get invited to Hope's Peak Academy of all places, right? They'd expel me instantly for my tardiness!"

Kin Geijutsu: "Fine. Not like standing outside here is gonna do anything."

Eiko Kouun:: "Alright, on we go!"

Maybe if I gave her some time, she could become bearable.

But for now, I have to focus on myself. For all what it's worth, I atleast want to make something of the time I spend here.

Okay… here we go. Entering… now.



* * *


- Inside Hope's Peak -

There's a lot of people here. Probably parents, teachers, that stuff…


Eiko Kouun:: "I've read that this year there's gonna be a big opening ceremony in the gymnasium!"

Kin Geijutsu: "You've read?"

Eiko Kouun:: "Yeah! The bulletin boards go MAD whenever it's known that there's gonna be a new class accepted to Hope's Peak!"

Kin Geijutsu: "Oh. I haven't done a lot of preparation work before coming here."

Eiko Kouun:: "But that's essential, Kin-san! If you aren't well prepared, what are you gonna do when faced with a situation you can't handle just because you didn't prepare for it? Hard work is important! I'm not sure why you would come to Hope's Peak if you wouldn't want to work hard!"

That determined look on her face…

Somehow, it does actually make me regret a little that I haven't done some research or… well, stuff.


Kin Geijutsu: "Uh… sorry."

We moved on.

Kin Geijutsu: "Wait, you do know where we're walking to, right?"

Eiko Kouun:: "Classroom A-1!"

Oh, so that's where we're meeting.

Eiko Kouun:: "So, Kin-san, are you excited?"

Kin Geijutsu: "Uh, sure."

The excitement can literally be heard in my tone of voice, after all.

Eiko Kouun:: "You don't seem very motivated! Are you sure that you're up to the task to attend this prestigious academy?"

Kin Geijutsu: "Hey, don't denounce me like that!"

Eiko Kouun:: "Sorry, but still… I'm sure you have to be at least minimally excited."

Kin Geijutsu: "Well, I didn't even want to be here in the first place—"

Wait… I think I might be blabbering a little too much here. Ugh, keep your mouth shut, Kin.

Eiko Kouun:: "Huh? What do you mean?"

Kin Geijutsu: "Hey, I think we arrived at the Classroom."

Dodging the question. Yes, clearly the best tactic to apply here.

Eiko Kouun:: "Uh… Oh, yeah, we're there! Alright, let's enter!"

She really is excited. Honestly, I would love to not enter through this door right now, but I guess I have no choice.

I'd imagine she'd shove me back here and into the classroom if I attempted to walk away, seeing how enthusiastic she is about everybody attending.

Oh well. Time to head into the inevitable.

After all, I ain't afraid.



* * *

- Classroom A-1 -

Inside the classroom stood 18 more students. Wow, do I really have to deal with so many people?

Girl:
"*yawn* … Finally, they're here."

That's surprising… everyone showed up so early. Maybe tardiness is really frowned upon as much as Kouun said?

Or maybe it's just impatience. I wouldn't be surprised.

Boy:
"So, I guess we're all here now, right?"

Girl: "If I counted right, we're 20, so yep, everybody's 'n here."

Maybe I really should've done some research. Oh well, I'll know what's up with these guys in no time.

Kin Geijutsu: "Uh, sorry for being late, I guess. I'm Kin Geijutsu, Super High-school Level Painter."

Girl: "Oh, rad! I think I maaaaay have seen your work before somewhere. Dunno where, but I've seen it. Yep!"

This girl has one hell of a hairdo…!


Image
Ayano Motono: "Well, anyway, the name's Ayano Motono (もとの 綾乃), Super High-school Level Hair Stylist, pleased to meet 'cha."

Well, that explains that.

Eiko Kouun:: "Hey, Ayano-san! Do you think you could help me with my hairstyle sometime? I've been having some trouble with it lately, and I dunno why…"

Ayano Motono: "I'm sure I can! I'll see what I can do."

Hmm, lets see, who else could I talk to here…

Surely I can get the boy with his headphones over there stop listening to his music and start listening to me.


Kin Geijutsu: "Hey, you there."

Surprisingly enough he seems to notice me. He looked like he was caught in a complete trance and was deeply inside that stuff he'd been listening to.

… Don't say stuff like that. It sounds disgusting.

Boy with headphones: "Oh, hey! You weren't here some minutes ago - what's up?"

Kin Geijutsu: "The ceiling."

Boy with headphones: "Well, aren't you funny?"

Kin Geijutsu: "Very. I'm a Super High-school Level Comedian, you could say."


Image
Yuu Ongaku: "Oh, really!? I'm Yuu Ongaku (音楽 優), the Super High-school Level DJ! Maybe you've been to a club where I've played once."

Kin Geijutsu: "Yeah… no."

… This guy is extremely gullible. He even believed me when I said I was a Super High-school Level Comedian.

Kin Geijutsu: "I'll keep you in mind. You're a fairly decent entertainer."

Yuu Ongaku: "Well, I could entertain you in a different way…"

Nope. Nope nope nope.

Boy:
"Don't be so afraid of Ongaku-kun - he can pull some advances too early, but he's a nice guy, really."

Girl: "Mhm, yeah, he's alright. Don't worry."

These two seemed to be getting along. Of course, I don't know if I'll be able to say the same.

Boy:
"Anyway, Super High-school Level Painter, was it?"

Well, if you'd listen, yeah.


Image
Ryota Osho:
"I'm Ryota Osho (王将 亮太), Super High-school Level Shogi Player. Though I'm not exactly fond of my talent…"

Welcome to the club.


Image
Fuji Shiba:
"And I'm Fuji Shiba (芝 富), Super High-school Level Gardener… and I have to say the same, because I don't think my talent is very interesting."

... Welcome to the club.

Kin Geijutsu: "You sure don't seem very motivated to be given the title of Super High-school Level…"

I'm starting to sound like Kouun here.

Ryota Osho: "Well, I don't think I'm worth it, really."

Fuji Shiba: "Same."

Eiko Kouun:: "But… isn't it an honor to be picked out by Hope's Peak and know that you're supposedly amazing at whatever it is that you do?"

Ryota Osho: "If I may ask, what's your talent?"

Eiko Kouun:: "I'm Super High-school Level Good Luck!"

Ryota Osho: "If I were you, I'd honestly be unsure if Good Luck is an actual talent."

Eiko Kouun:: "Well…"

Fuji Shiba: "To be randomly picked out just because you posess extraordinary luck… I didn't know that was possible."

This one's getting uncomfortable. I thiiiiink I'm leaving Kouun on her own with these two.

Let's see here…

Girl with a mask:
"Aha! It appears the painter which you are is walking around and introducing herself to her classmates…"

I thought this was an academy, not a freak show.

Kin Geijutsu: "Who ARE you?"

Girl with a mask: "A great question! Who is one? What is one hiding behind this mask? Does one wield more masks? Does one wield more faces? Identities? Whole bodies, even? The answer is yes… though that last part may not be fully true, as ones soul cannot part from this vessel and is bound to it by deep, mental chains of the mind—"

Kin Geijutsu: "Alright, alright, I get it! You're the girl who is Super High-school Level Long Speeches, right?"


Image
Minori Gisou: "Is one even a girl? Nevertheless, one calls oneself Minori Gisou (偽装 里)! One is a Super High-school Level Masquerader! One is fascinated by the concepts of hiding behind this mask! Or many more masks one hasn't shown you yet…"

Kin Geijutsu: "Youuu go do that, I'll be in the corner talking with somebody else."

What are they… calling them "one" instead of "I" too. Yes, this person isn't exactly the most normal.

Uh… quick, Kin, where's the nearest person you can talk to—

Boy:
"Ow!"

Kin Geijutsu: "Hey, look where you're walking!"

I greet my classmates by bumping into them too, dude.

Boy:
"Terribly sorry! Have you been hurt?"

Kin Geijutsu: "… It's fine. Who are you?"


Image
Takumi Waka: "Oh, right, I haven't introduced myself yet… I'm Takumi Waka (わか 匠), Super High-school Level Seamster."

Kin Geijutsu: "More like Super High-school Level Scatterbrained, if you ask me."

Takumi Waka: "Yeah, I'm often like that. Sorry if I'm annoying you."

Apology accepted.

Kin Geijutsu: "No, no, it's alright… Just don't apologize too much."

Takumi Waka: "Lesson learned, Geijutsu-sama!"

-sama…? Am I really such a higher up to him that he calls me -sama?

He sure seems to value politeness, that's something. Though he's not exactly the best at enforcing it.

I hear a sort of familiar yawn again, so I head over there.

Sleepy girl:
"Your story is boring me… tell me something different."

Boy with a lab coat: "Okay, so there was this one time where I had this colorless solution, right? You know the Briggs-Rauscher reaction? That's what I'm talking about right now."

Sleepy girl: "I've always slept in chem… it's boring…"

Kin Geijutsu: "Surely you don't seem very excited for school. Why did you enroll here?"

Sleepy girl: "Oh, I'm just a Super High-school Level Dreamer… I thought, if they sent me an invitation letter, I may as well accept, right? It'd be a wasted opportunity if I didn't."

Boy with a lab coat: "So then when I turned on the magnetic stirrer, the solution turned into an amber color…"

Kin Geijutsu: "A Dreamer? Just what kind of talent is that?"


Image
Masumi Yumeno: "Mmmm… I don't know. Oh, also, my name is Masumi Yumeno (夢の 真澄). If you need to remember that, I guess."

Boy with a lab coat: "And then, it suddenly turned into a really dark blue color, and back to colorless after that! I was like 'Whoooaaaaaa!' when I saw that!"

Kin Geijutsu: "I don't think anybody is listening to you, dude."

Boy with a lab coat: "And then it happened again and again and again! It was so cool!"

Kin Geijutsu: "Helloooooo?"

Boy with a lab coat: "Huh? Oh, hey, I totally didn't notice you, uh…. what's your name again?"

Kin Geijutsu: "Kin Geijutsu."


Image
Yutaka Kagaku: "Alright, Geijutsu-san! I'm Yutaka Kagaku (科学 裕), Super High-school Level Scientist, in case you couldn't tell."

Kin Geijutsu: "You're not a Super High-school Level Storyteller?"

Yutaka Kagaku: "Well, I can tell another thing if you'd like me to! So, do you know the Meissner Effect—"

Kin Geijutsu: "No thanks!"

Somehow, a lot of my "classmates" simply prompt me to leave when they start talking.

Redhead:
"I'm fully sure I could beat you in a sword fight."

Guy with bandages: "No way, man- my fist work and endurance would totally render your sword useless, I'm sure."

Firefighter?: "No violence on my watch, you two!"

Redhead: "I hope you do realize we weren't going to perform an actual match."

Guy with bandages: "Yet."

Redhead: "You do not want what you're asking for. It'll be très dangereuse."

Kin Geijutsu: "Hey, let's, uh… not be so hostile, alright? This is only the first day."

Yes, Kin, you are the PERFECT example of not being hostile. Thank you for proving your hypocrisy yet again.

Sometimes, I really need to think over what I'm saying…



Image
Aurélie Bathylle: "I greet you to a good morning, Super High-school Level Painter. I am Aurélie Bathylle, Super High-school Level Fencer."


Image
Hiroki Yamauchi: "Tch. I'm Hiroki Yamauchi (山内 弘樹), Super High-school Level Boxer. And I assure you, I WILL beat you, Bathylle!"

Aurélie Bathylle: "Your foolishness is going to get you killed, Yamauchi-kun…"

Firefighter?: "Do you not listen!? No fighting on my watch!"

Kin Geijutsu: "And who are you, Interjecting-in-the-hostility-kun?"


Image
Shin'ichi Kasai: "I go by the name Shin'ichi Kasai (火災 真一), and by the title of Super High-school Level Firefighter!"

Well, he does seem built like a firefighter alright. … And dressed, for that matter.

Kin Geijutsu: "I'll just call you Super High-school Level Pacifist."

Much simpler, after all.

Doesn't reek of hostility at all.

… I wonder if he's gonna call me out on it. I think I should probably leave before he does, I'd rather not listen to him yelling at me like "No inappropriate behavior towards your classmates, Geijutsu-san!"

Yeah, not gonna bother staying around this dude.

Well… wait, what's this? Even more freaks?

… Is that a CAT?


Cat…?: "I'd really appreciate it if mew'd take me as your pet!"

Fancy vest person: "Hmhm… are you sure, dear?"

Short-haired girl: "One hundred percent on this one, darling! This cat is soooo cute!"

The cat… person? Uh, whatever they are, they meowed in response. Just what the heck is going on here?

Kin Geijutsu: "If I may interrupt… who are you?"


Image
Niko Nekoneko: "Ah! I mew this question was gonna come! Purrfect, let me introduce meowself - I am Niko Nekoneko, Super High-school Level, well, Neko!"

WHAT KIND OF TALENT IS BEING A CAT!?

Soon after, Kouun returned from her apparent debate with Osho and Shiba.


Eiko Kouun:: "Aww, what a cute kitty!"

Kin Geijutsu: "How'd your arguing go?"

Eiko Kouun:: "Well, I wouldn't exactly have called it arguing… but they weren't very convinced of my point."

Sounds like what I expected. Kouun doesn't seem like she would be the best at this kind of stuff.

Eiko Kouun:: "But more important, who's this cute kitty? I wanna pet hiiiiiim!"

Niko Nekoneko: "Purr… pet me all you want!"

How is everyone enjoying themselves with this cat… person?

Ugh, forget it. By this point I should know that not everyone is down to the earth here.

Fancy vest person:
"Ah! Dear, we almost haven't introduced ourselves!"

Short-haired girl: "Goodness gracious, how impolite of us!"

Kin Geijutsu: "Wait, do you know each other?"

If they call the other dear and darling…


ImageImage
Couple: "We are Dai Nakano (中野 大) and Shizuka Nakano (中野 静香)! And together, we are the lovely Super High-school Level Husband and Wife!"

How the hell…

Kin Geijutsu: "Hold up, you're married? How!? At this age? How is this possible?"

Shizuka Nakano: "We're from a country called Novoselic, where you can marry at a much younger age!"

Dai Nakano: "Certainly - Novoselic is a wonderful country."

Eiko Kouun:: "An actual married couple, still in high school… that's very interesting! Surely it must've been great to find out that you can go to Hope's Peak Academy together!"

Dai Nakano: "And with a cute title fitting us both, too!"

Shizuka Nakano: "Yep! Together, we truly are the perfect Husband and Wife!"

I'm getting a headache…

Another boy with headphones:
"Well, well, who do we have here?"

Boy with suspenders: "My analytic knowledge tells me that these are the Super High-school Level Painter and the Super High-school Level Lucky Girl."

Another boy with headphones: "Good Luck, eh? Congrats! You get to attend a super good institute by sheer luck. That's damn impressive in its own way."

Kimono girl: "It's an art in its own way, I suppose."

It really, really isn't….

Let's hope these two have actual talents, unlike "Married Couple", "Good Luck" and… *gulp* "Cat".


Eiko Kouun:: "Thank you! I'm Eiko Kouun, nice to meet you all."


Image
Amon A. Cartwright: "Amon Augustine Cartwright's the name, Super High-school Level Superbrain… or, rather, Engineer, but hey, Superbrain sounds cooler, right? After all, I am a smart guy. … Well, they called me that back in my original high school, so, uh, heheheh…"


Image
Akihiro Kagome: "And I'm Akihiro Kagome (日暮 大畠), Super High-school Level Drummer. Great to see you around."


Image
Akemi Daichi: "I wield, along with my calligraphy pens, the name Akemi Daichi (大地 明美), and I am, as you can tell, the Super High-school Level Calligraphist."

Akemi Daichi: "Kin Geijutsu, I look forward to working with you artistically, if we ever happen to in the near future."

Kin Geijutsu: "Uh.. hey. And sure, if I ever find the time."

I've come to notice that I'm not very good at this social interaction.

… Bah, who cares, not like I'll need it anyway.

And it seems like I've talked to everyone.

… Oh, wait, there's a girl sitting alone in the corner with some dolls.


Kin Geijutsu: "Hey, what's your name?"

Doll girl: "F-Fumiko?"

She's talking to her doll…

Okay, nevermind, she's another freak, I'm outta here—

Doll girl:
"Fumiko said I m-may be able to trust you… so…"

Oh, so she's actually gonna speak up?


Image
Sakiko Yukimura:
"S-Sakiko Yukimura (幸村 咲子). Super High-school Level D-Doll Maker."

Kin Geijutsu: "Not Super High-school Level Shy?"

Sakiko Yukimura: "Nnn….."

She's hiding her face behind her doll…

I think this maaaay be a sign that I should probably leave her alone.

Okay, but THAT was everybody.


Masumi Yumeno: "*yawn* … I think I'm starting to get a little impatient… and sleepy, but that's a different matter…"

Yuu Ongaku: "Yeah, I'd wish it'd just start already. We know each other already on a basic level, so why keep us waiting in this stinky classroom?"

Akihiro Kagome: "Sitting stiff in this room isn't gonna do us any good, I agree."

???: "Weww, then I better not keep you waiting!"

Hiroki Yamauchi: "… Who the hell was that?"

Niko Nekoneko: "I can ensure you, it can't paw-sibly be me, can it nyaow?"

Takumi Waka: "Um, I think you'd do some cat noises here and there if it were you, Nekoneko-sama…"

Aurélie Bathylle: "In any case, we should be finding out where this voice is coming from. Maybe an unknown threat is approaching?"

Minori Gisou: "One wishes to believe that you may be otherthinking this!"

???: "I'm over here! Over here!"

Amon A. Cartwright: "I believe that voice is coming from behind the podium over there in the front."

???: "Bingo! It seems everyone's here, so wet's begin!"



Image




And on the podium stood a stuffed doll… in a skirt… with wings and a stick.

Yep. I've lost all hope, this place is a big freak show.



* * *


Aurélie Bathylle: "What nonsense is this!?"

Niko Nekoneko: "Oh, I think she's an animal just like me!"

Akihiro Kagome: "… I think that's only some kind of weird-ass stuffed doll."

Right on the money, I assume.

Doll:
"Do you know what a bunny wabbit is, everyone?"

Yutaka Kagaku: "Well, if my sources are right, it's—"

Doll: "It's an animal with vewy, vewy fwuffy fur."

Hiroki Yamauchi: "I'm not sure what kind of prank Hope's Peak is pulling here."

Doll: "Hawawa! This isn't a pwank! I weally, weally am a stuffed doll looking like a bunny wabbit!"

Masumi Yumeno: "Looking beyond the ludicrousness of this… who are you?"

Usami: "I am Magical Girl Miwacle ★ Usami… but you can just call me Usami! From now on, I'm your teacher. Pweased to meet you all."

… This can't seriously be our teacher.

Ryota Osho: "I think my head's pullin' something on me…"

Ayano Motono: "Honestly, what the heck's up with this? S-She can't really be our teacher, 'right?

Kin Geijutsu: "So, let me get this straight…"

Usami: "Yes?"

Kin Geijutsu: "You're a stuffed doll, made to look like a bunny wabbit… rabbit. And you're supposed to be our new teacher."

Her speaking habit is rubbing off on me. Not good. Not good. At. All.

Usami: "Absolutely correct!"

Dai Nakano and Shizuka Nakano: "How cuuuuuute!"

What's up with these two!?

Usami: "I think I made my entwance just in time!"

Akemi Daichi: "How do you mean?"

Amon A. Cartwright: "Well, when you check the clock over there…"

Fuji Shiba: "Oh, it's almost 8:00 AM! We should get going!"

Usami: "Cowwect, cowwect! It's almost time for our gweat entwance cewemony!"

Shin'ichi Kasai: "Let us get a move on, then! This is a command!"

Usami: "Hawawa, howd up! First, I need to give you these…"

… She just swung her staff and opened a little bag hanging to it. She then scattered some devices around the room… They kinda look like phones, if you ask me.


Image

Huh… the front says "Electronic Student Handbook".


Usami: "These Ewectwonic Student Handbooks are a very pwactical device! They display the wules and vawious other things!"

I guess I should check that out.

Usami: "Okay, now we can go! Onward! Wuv! Wuv!"

Usami disappeared like it was no big deal.

Kin Geijutsu: "Hey, Kouun, what's up? You didn't say anything at all just now."

Eiko Kouun:: "Mm… Kin-san, doesn't this strike you as vewy, vewy odd?"

Oh god, she's caught the speaking rabbit too.

… I mean HABIT.


Kin Geijutsu: "An animate stuffed doll with some kind of magical staff, saying she's our teacher, appearing out of thin air? No, this is completely normal."

Eiko Kouun:: "I'm… actually kind of suspicious. And a little scared."

Kin Geijutsu: "You're not so enthusiastic as you were before. Uh… don't worry, I guess? This is Hope's Peak, after all. No way they could do something odd without a reason behind it."

Eiko Kouun:: "… Yeah, you're right! I shouldn't be worrying. Let's go to the gymnasium, Kin-san!"

Talk about a fast recovery.


* * *


Together as a group, we went the way towards the gymnasium. Eiko and others who seemed to know the way took the lead.

Yuu Ongaku: "Hey, so uh…"

What now?

Yuu Ongaku: "Did anybody bother to check that Electronic Student Handbook thing?"

Takumi Waka: "Uhh… I think I did, yes! What about it?"

Yuu Ongaku: "There's some parts that are… odd."

Minori Gisou: "One thinks you should clarify what you mean!"

Yuu Ongaku: "Just check for yourself."

Actually being curious for once, I guess I should give it a look.


Image

Image
Rule no. 1

Excessive violence is forbidden on this field trip. Let’s live peacefully and quietly together.

Image
Rule no. 2

Let’s gather “Hope Shards” by deepening our bonds with our friends.

Image
Rule no. 3

Throwing garbage and damaging the environment is forbidden. Let’s live in harmony with nature while we're on the field trip.

Image
Rule no. 4

The supervising teacher will not interfere directly with student activities, unless any rules are broken.


… What the heck?

All I saw - and by the baffledness of my classmates, heard - were the words "field trip", "hope shards", "supervising teacher"…

I thought this was gonna be a regular school life, just in a harsher institute, not some kind of field trip. What the hell is Usami trying to tell us here?


Masumi Yumeno: "… This field trip stuff is worrying."

Eiko Kouun:: "I'm… not very sure what to say…"

Sakiko Yukimura: "Nn… I'm not… either…"

Even Yukimura spoke up in this odd situation. Yeah, you can tell that something isn't normal here.

Minori Gisou: "If you worry so fast, one wonders how you shall survive the rest of the school life!"

Ryota Osho: "Uh.. I guess they're right."

Shin'ichi Kasai: "Absolutely! Let us keep calm, and follow our current objective: heading to the Gymnasium!"

Hiroki Yamauchi: "The moment I see someone suspicious though, I am so smashing their face in."

Ignoring Yamauchi, I nodded.

Amon A. Cartwright: "Shall we operate onwards, then?"

Aurélie Bathylle: "Certainly."

Kouun and the others took the lead again.

Soon enough, the wide doors of the gymnasium were posed in front of us.

As if on command, it opened.

What the hell… this is way too formal.

There's so many people watching, too.

…..

On a closer look… those people's don't have faces. Or don't look like they have faces.

Everybody was fairly silent. People were throwing bouqets and seemed to be proud. Even though I can't exactly tell if they're proud or not, their motions seem to be suggesting that.

… But on the other hand, I feel like I'm overthinking this. Let's just go.


Eiko Kouun:: "I'm… kind of unnerved."

Kin Geijutsu: "Welcome to the club."

Masumi Yumeno: "Same…"

What is UP with all this? The faceless people, the formal greeting…

It didn't take long until my surprised state came to a halt.

Along with the audience's clapping, that is.


Niko Nekoneko: "Uuuunn…. I'm starting to nyat feel very well…"

… For once, the cat is right— I'm getting kind of dizzy…

Fuji Shiba: "I feel like I'm losing my balance…"

Masumi Yumeno: "*yaaaawn* … Time… for me to… go… beddie bye…"

Yumeno fell down to the ground. It was worrying, as this came sort of sudden.

My shocked expression made my eyes lock on her, likely, unconcious body.

I turned around and saw a gas—

But it was not long until I followed her. My vision started to blur… My head hurted like hell…

What the heck is going on…?


Kin Geijutsu: "I think I'm—"

I was unable to finish the sentence.

And even though I could not witness it, I am sure that nobody in the room had been awake and full of energy at that point.

But, it was too late already. Before I fell into deep darkness, I heard a door close loudly.

No escape. We can't turn back.

And how would we?

After being consumed by this…

After being consumed by this despair that had awaited us, and needed us as if we were its nutrients.

It's too late now. The despair began so suddenly, and it spread quickly, and we had no idea what to do except be intimidated.

Truly… this is what they call a hopeless situation… right…?




* * *




… su-san…

Geiju…-..n…

Geijutsu-san!

I slowly opened my eyes - and so did some others.

Kin Geijutsu: "Huh…?"

Eiko Kouun:: "Alright, you're awake…"

Must've really passed out, then.

Amon A. Cartwright: "My, uh, rather good eyesight spotted that there were some small containers hidden in the flower bouqets which were thrown by the audience. They—"

Yutaka Kagaku: "They have this silly weird gas in them which made us sleep real tight! Look, the girl with the teal hair is still asleep!"

Masumi Yumeno: "Zzzzz…"

Well, considering her talent, it's not very far off or out of character…

Yuu Ongaku: "We've, uh… got some more sleepin' guys than us, though."

Shin'ichi Kasai: "I have no idea how this happened…!"

I turn around to….

… oh, holy crap, those are a lot of bodies.


Ryota Osho: "All of them are… dead."

Kin Geijutsu: "… Are you for real? No… No, you've gotta be kidding."

Minori Gisou: "No… one says they all are lifeless, shallow piles of skin and flesh."

Akemi Daichi: "What a poetic description. You could also call it a corpse."

Fuji Shiba: "I don't even want to know…"

This is very unnerving… I think there may be some bile in my throat… just what the hell happened here while we were passed out?

Aurélie Bathylle: "Either way, this is unsettling… the door is locked, too."

Akihiro Kagome: "No escape then. #@$! …!"

Yuu Ongaku: "Just what the hell is Hope's Peak pulling?"

Masumi Yumeno: "Mmm… hey, guys."

Well, look who woke up.

Dai Nakano: "Looks like we're all awake now…"

Shizuka Nakano: "But… what of our situation? Are we just gonna stand here and be trapped?"


???: "Good question, Nakano-san!"


Usami…? No, this guy sounded more like this one… robot feline or something.

Immediately when I thought of her, she appeared.


Usami: "No… It cannot be! That voice…"

Hiroki Yamauchi: "Hey, if you know what the hell's up, then tell us before I beat the stuffin' outta you…!"

Ayano Motono: "Dude, calm down!"

Hiroki Yamauchi: "How can I be calm when we're freaking trapped here and this weird-ass bunny knows what the heck's happenin'!?"

???: "Ahahahahaha! I haven't even properly arrived, and there's already conflict!"

Usami: "No! Stay away from my students!"

What the hell…

???: "About time I make my entrance, then!"


Image


A second stuffed toy jumped up from behind the podium in the gymnasium.

This time, it was a bear, half white, half black… what is going on!?

Monokuma:
"I'm sure we've all been waiting for this to happen, right? My name is Monokuma! I'm this school's headmaster!"

Kin Geijutsu: "Headmaster… what kind of school has a bear as a headmaster!?"

Usami: "Stand back, evewyone! That bear is dangewous!"

Monokuma: "What is up with you!? Planning a field trip this early, and it's not even a good field trip, either!"

Usami: "Howawa! The heart-thumping field twip would have been a supewb event of wuv for my students! Wuv!"

Monokuma: "Even the word being simply dropped like that disgusts me!"

Usami: "Either way, I won't let you hawm my students, Monokuma!"

Monokuma: "Quiet! Your whole plan is despair-inducingly boring, and who would want to endure something like that!? Nobody! What everybody truly wants to see is suffering! Hardship! Misery! Despair!"

Akihiro Kagome: "Alright, this is REALLY freaking ridiculous! What the hell are you saying!?"

Kin Geijutsu: "Why the heck are we getting dragged around by two stuffed toys!?"

The questions and ludicrousy kept piling and piling, you'd despair if you were to ever experience how confusing this was.

Usami: "I can fix this all! As long as I'm posessing my magical stick…"

Monokuma: "Gimme that!"


Image

They started beating each other up…

Shin'ichi Kasai: "N… No fighting on my watch!"

Aurélie Bathylle: "It's not a battle that will last long - look, the loser is apparent."

Usami: "Uwaa! S… Stop it!"

Monokuma: "Take that! Kapow! Swoosh!"

Usami: "Kyaaaaaaa!"


And then, Monokuma grabbed ahold of her stick, spun around and threw it god knows where.

Monokuma: "Phew! That's taken care of!"

Usami: "Fuwaaa! My Magical Stick!!"

Monokuma: "You know… you could really work on that appearance."

Ayano Motono: "I would point at a hairstyle here, but neither of them appear to have one…"

Usami: "N… No! Hands off!"


Image

Monokuma: "Don't resist… or I'll make the pain and suffering last even longer!"

Monokuma saw an opportunity and took it, attacking Usami as if she were prey that needed to be taken care of with his sharp bear claws…

Even though I'm suspicious of them both, I can't help but feel Usami's wounds being inflicted on me, too.

Usami: "Kyaaaaa! Stop it! Pwease, stop stop stop!"

Monokuma: "Aaaaand… done!"


Image

Image

Usami's coloring was now half-white, on the other half pink. Her skirt had been switched with a diaper and her wings were completely gone.

Usami: "Wh… What is this supposed to be!? This tewwible getup!"

Monokuma: "Don't be like that, Monomi! Your big brother chose the most wonderful looking appearance for you he could think of!"

Usami: "H… How do you mean? Monomi? Big bwother?"

Monokuma: "Monokuma and Monomi! Doesn't it go together so well? That just screams dynamic sibling duo, doesn't it? After all, you'll be taking the role of my little sister now!"

Monomi: "But… but why do I have to be your little sister, all of a sudden!?"

This banter is painful to watch.

Monokuma: "I'm the headmaster! I make the rules! And besides… you simply just don't fit as the big sister. Now, don't you dare disobey me again! The consequences will be more painful next time!"

Monomi: "But I can't just… let you decide everything like this!"


Image

Image

Monokuma went up to his "little sister" and gave her one hell of a punch.


Hiroki Yamauchi: "Damn… that was a CRAZY hook!"

Monomi: "Ugyaaaaa!"

Monomi lands near the door. Poor bunny rabbit.

Eiko Kouun:: "How… and why is all of this happening…?"

Kouun raised a good point. Just what truly happened to let everything turn out like this… isn't Hope's Peak more powerful than this? Can it really be taken over by a bear so easily? Or were we decieved?


I looked around. None of us seemed to know.

Is this difficult question truly going to haunt us until we fall into deep, dark despair?


Monokuma: "How bold! But do you really think you can defeat me that easily?"

Monomi: "This weally, weally hurts… Uuuuu…"

Monokuma: "Giving up already? Gyahahahaha!"

Monomi: "If I only had my Magical Stick…"

Yuu Ongaku: "I… simply don't understand what's happening anymore!"

Akihiro Kagome: "Can I be part of that club? My head hurts…"

Ryota Osho: "The entire premise of this is just unbelievable…"

Fuji Shiba: "I really, really regret picking up that invitation letter from the mail now…"

Kin Geijutsu: "Being sent to a hellhole without your own consent is crap…"

… But it's exactly the crap that happened to me.

Eiko Kouun:: "…"

You could read the shockedness off of Kouun's face. The same went for Yukimura, but that wasn't unexpected.

Masumi Yumeno: "At this point, I'd rather go back to my bed at home…"

Akemi Daichi: "The sheer appearance of this creature is baffling."

Minori Gisou: "One does not know what to think about the situation posed to us!"

Sakiko Yukimura: "Mn… This is… awful…"

Whoa. She TALKED.

Niko Nekoneko: "That pengmewin is too purreatening for nyall of us!"

Monokuma: "I'm not a penguin! I'm a bear! I'm Monokuma! The headmaster of Hope's Peak Academy!"

Amon A. Cartwright: "This is just impossible! How do these stuffed toys operate!?"

Yutaka Kagaku: "These two make fun of scientific rules AND physic laws!"

Takumi Waka: "And just how is that flawless sewing work possible…?"

Kin Geijutsu: "This is not the time to question how they work, but rather why they're here in the first place!"

Monokuma: "Well, enough of that! It's time to reveal the newest development! Or, it would be the newest development if my useless little sister wouldn't have hinted at it already…"

Monomi: "Howawa…"

Monokuma: "Our 'Field Trip of Mutual Killing' begins… now."

Field Trip of Mutual Killing…!?

Monokuma: "All this friendship stuff is despair-inducingly disgusting! Where's the fun? Where's the suspense? Nobody would want to collect those silly "Hope Shards" with the goal to become friends! Don't you agree, you bastards!? And thus, this is now a "Field Trip of Mutual Killing", with our new and fresh class at Hope's Peak being the participants!"

Takumi Waka: "M… Mutual killing?"

Shin'ichi Kasai: "I… I repeat, no violence on my… w-watch…!"

Dai Nakano: "Killing!?"

Shizuka Nakano: "We'd n… never!"

Monomi: "I… I cannot awwow you to fowce evewyone to participate in this mutual kiwwing—"


Image

Image

She was quickly defeated in yet another curbstomp battle.

Monomi: "Ugyaaaaa! Violence weally, weally hurts!"

Monokuma: "Now that we've trampled the insects, let me explain further what this mutual killing is!"

Aurélie Bathylle: "Further explanation is… unrequired. This is exactly what it says on the tin - we have to murder each other."

At this point, nobody was as surprised as when the title was dropped, but deep inside, a seed of despair had grown into something much, much larger, and everyone's shocked expression remained.

I can't say I wasn't affected by it.

Monokuma: "Bingo! Bathylle-san is right on the money!"

Eiko Kouun:: "No! I won't believe it! I won't believe that this is happening!"

Monokuma: "Poor girl. Reality may not treat you well."

Now what kind of lesson is this supposed to be…?

Monokuma: "If only you'd know… You see, there's as many reasons to kill as there are people on earth! And deep, deep down inside, even though you may not believe it… everyone has the motivation to kill. Everyone."

Eiko Kouun:: "But—"

Monokuma: "Thus, this rule change is being made! If you wanna leave the field trip, please kill one of your friends and pass the "school trial" without getting caught!!"

Amon A. Cartwright: "School trial…?"

Monokuma: "Of course! The school trial is the climax of our "Field Trip of Mutual killing"!"

A genuine courtroom trial, immediately after somebody gets killed…!?

Monokuma: "In the event that someone snaps and kills one of your bastards… the survivors must participate in a school trial. The school trial itself between the "culprit", who is yet to be found, and the other, "innocent", students. During the school trial, you will try to find out who the perpetrator is, and then vote on who to accuse. If you figure it out, and vote correctly… the culprit will be "punished", and the field trip will continue!"

"Punished"?

Monokuma: "But if the culprit manages to successfully trick you bastards into accusing the wrong person, that is, an "innocent"… Then the culprit gets to leave! And the rest of you will be "punished" instead!"

"Punished"?

Monokuma: "These are the rules of the school trial! In other words, anyone who kills and successfully hides their guilt will be able to leave the field trip. But, if they cannot overcome the school trial, they will be "punished"… Upupu, they’re the usual rules, so it’s easy to grasp, isn’t it?"

Kin Geijutsu: "You keep on mentioning the word "punished"… then what, if I may ask, is this 'punishment'?"

Monokuma: "In simple terms… execution!!"

The vast sea of confusion and nervousness was getting even larger… oh, for gods sake, I need to stop being so poetic and start being serious… this is some crap we got ourselves into.

Monokuma: "The spectacular 'Punishment Time' following a school trial will be a high point of this 'Field Trip of Mutual Killing'! I simply can't sit still… I'm just looking forward so much to see what terrifying and despair-inducing punishments we'll have… Maybe we're gonna have some funny ones too, like crushing the culprit with an elephant's butt or something!"

Yuu Ongaku: "But… nobody would kill each other, right…? No need for executing anybody…"


Monokuma: "Also, you're allowed to kill your victim however you'd like. You could beat them, slash them, strangle them, poison them… But you could also shoot them strike them run them over cook them tickle them behead them drown them electrocute them crash them curse them…"

What kind of neverending list is this…!?

Monokuma: "Freeze them eviscerate them pierce them beat them up make them break all their bones…"

Hiroki Yamauchi: "We get it, alright!? Stop presenting us with murder methods!"

Monokuma: "Either way, if you bastards really understand what this is all about now, then this marks the end of the explanation of the 'Field Trip of Mutual Killing'!"

Akemi Daichi: "I'm fully sure that nobody will commit murder in this group."

Hiroki Yamauchi: "And if they even attempt to… I'll smash their face in."

Aurélie Bathylle: "I'll do everything I can to hinder every murder attempt!"

Shin'ichi Kasai: "Anybody even thinking of murder will be punished… the honorful way!"

Sakiko Yukimura: "You agree, r… right, Fumiko?"

Yutaka Kagaku: "Alright, now that we're done, let me tell you about this weird reaction I found the other day…"

Monomi: "R… Right! My students would never commit murder!"

Monokuma: "Ahahahahaha! Don't you make me laugh, little sister! Haven't you listened when I explained to Kouun-san?"

The respective person Monokuma had mentioned remained silent…

Monokuma: "Soon enough, anybody will decide to follow their desire of getting out of here… no exceptions."

The resolve we built up may have seemed strong, but it was still utterly susceptible to crumbling easily.

Monokuma: "… Blech. This long speech is getting boring. Despair-inducingly boring. About time we get a move on, right!? Now, everyone, hop onto the MonoBus!"

And before we knew it, the entire wall behind Monokuma collapsed, and a black and white bus was presented to us.

Monokuma: "You'd better skedaddle into here fast, or you may skip out on the Field Trip of Mutual Killing entirely…"


What?


There was a sudden sound. I'm unsure how to describe it, but something made the wall behind us close in on us.

So, if we'd be staying here, we'd get crushed.



Ayano Motono: "Oh, holy— run, everyone!"

On nimble feet, we rushed to the MonoBus, and quickly entered it one by one.

Soon enough, the gymnasium seemed to be no more. We didn't dare look back at it.

Monokuma: "Bus driver Monokuma speaking! We will now head to our first station of our despair-inducing Field Trip of Mutual Killing! Sit tight, because there's no seatbelts!"


And then, everything was too late. The Field Trip of Mutual Killing had begun.


And we sure as hell weren't gonna get out of it anytime soon.



P R O L O G U E - END

STUDENTS REMAINING: 20

TO BE CONTINUED
Image
Image
User avatar
Trilby
Posts: 84
Joined: Thu Jul 15, 2010 6:32 pm
Gender: Male
Spoken languages: English

Re: DR Fanfiction: One Thousand Miles 'til Despair City

Post by Trilby »

Hey, if you made these characters what program did you use to make the art or where did you get the characters if you didn't make the art? Also, the story is pretty cool.
Image

Stuff happens.
User avatar
DLA
Posts: 2073
Joined: Wed Oct 12, 2011 12:14 am
Spoken languages: English, Spanish, a bit of French
Location: At the Grifter's Bone concert.

Re: DR Fanfiction: One Thousand Miles 'til Despair City

Post by DLA »

Trilby wrote:Hey, if you made these characters what program did you use to make the art or where did you get the characters if you didn't make the art? Also, the story is pretty cool.
He used tektek.org.
Image
The Final but not so ending chapter.
User avatar
lazyplague
Posts: 2430
Joined: Sun Oct 10, 2010 4:24 pm
Gender: Female
Spoken languages: English
Location: Hell. Gay Hell, to be exact.

Re: DR Fanfiction: One Thousand Miles 'til Despair City

Post by lazyplague »

I was going to give a large review for this, but for what I'm about to say, it's better to just summarize.
Spoiler : Warning, highly opinionated areas :
Format
Okay, let's start out with the format, which is script... Or, just lines of dialogue with snarky comments from the protag. It doesn't work, the format makes me completely disinterested entirely. There's no descriptions to hook me, no actions to imagine, no nothing. It's boring.

This part is going to be short, I'm going to suggest (and you're not going to like this one bit.) rewriting the ENTIRE thing. Going with a more novel-ish format. I know how much work you put into this, and you should be proud of yourself for getting this far, but it's not going to work if you keep this format up. Trying to imitate the DR LP styl- No, wait, I'm not even sure if I can call it that anymore. The LP at least had pictures to go off of, this is just... Boring.

1/10

Character Design

Normally you wouldn't see this in a review, but in a DR-based game, this is heavily important. And this section... Isn't exactly pleasant either, I'm sorry to say. It's going to be long and have examples, if it makes you feel any better. I'm mostly going through the most problematic ones here.

Image

Let's start with the main character, since she bothers me a bit. At this point... There's nothing to show that she's a painter. There's a random feather on her head. That's it. She has a better hairstyle than the hairstylist, and that's probably a problem.

Image

And hello miss all over the place with your hair. Her hairstyle is crossing into Hagakure levels of bad, and I can't see how being a hairstylist justifies it. It has no direction or... anything. And that's not the only problem I have with her at all. I notice she has shortshorts... And then some form of tights under. You can tell they're tights because you can see white through the holes in the shorts.

And my question is, why? It's not something I'd imagine anyone would leave the house in. /Opinion.

Image

I personally think this one speaks for itself, but I'll say it anyway. There's too much noise here, it's like he's trying to stand out by being so impossibly clothed that he looks impossible, which he is. That design is impossibly complicated. Please tone it down.

Image

I was imagining idol when I saw her, but I got gardener. There's a difference between not looking like your SHSL and looking like a Jpop person.

Image

Now she has slight justification for her outfit, since it fits her SHSL but... It's so noisy, it could really use some toning down. I'll continue my flashy point later.

Image

Nothing about this character looks good for a proper fencer. That amount of hair would get in the way INSTANTLY. If it's a wig, I apologize, but there's no way a fencer would allow themselves so much hair. And even if you put it into a helmet, it'd be hella uncomfortable and probably make getting a properly sized helmet work.

The couple just seems... Overly flashy, but it's an undeveloped culture, so I can let it slip by.

Now, I only listed the ones I see as problematic. (The protagonist wasn't actually so, that was just a leadup into the hairdresser.)

Now, for my main problem with them: They're all ridiculously flashy and a one is basically impossible, and some just seem like they don't work for their chosen SHSL. You may say that SDR2 has flashy designs, but they're all outfits you'd see in every day life, there's just quirks that set them apart from one another. Ibuki for example has long crazy hair, but that's because her SHSL gives her a valid reason to have that style. (SHe's p punk)

I can tell there's effort put into this, but I'd heavily recommend redesigning all of the characters with text and simplifying them. (Working off of The original tektek designs is fine, but you need to be reasonable with what there is.) I say simplifying them because you want your reader to be able to IMAGINE the characters. That's impossible with ridiculously complicated designs.

And for the record, for making character designs, I heavily recommend not using tektek unless it's not placed in a normal-sh setting, such as Earth school places.

4/10

Writing/Characterization

I really can't comment on this right now, since I'm put off by the format (Along with this being a prologue.) and that makes it hard for me to think about it all. If you DO rewrite it, I'll make a section for this too.

Plot

I feel like it's too fast paced, there's too much going on and I can't quite seem to get a feeling for what's happening. (Might partially be the format's fault.)

What I feel is that you need some more space between each event. Not sure how I can suggest this for you, but I'd think on it yourself, since I don't know what you're planning.

6/10
Again, this is highly opinion based, but I do have some people that feel the same way about a lot. I'd try and keep this in mind.
Post Reply