~UDRRP: Forlorn Field Trip~ {OOC} MURDER APPS UPDATE

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Re: ~UDRRP: Forlorn Field Trip~ {OOC} MURDER APPS UPDATE 

Message par gotMLK7 » Mer Mars 04, 2015 1:45 am

Thanks, spd. I'd like to apologize for any time I stalled the roleplay, by the way. This last year has probably been the most stressful I've had and I've had a tendency to not post in RPs nearly as much as I wanted to. DRRPs in particular kinda freaked me out due to the consequences involved and I hate that I delayed things as a result. So again, I'm very sorry for that and I hope I can improve that behavior in general for the future.
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Hersh/Fiendy has credit for the amazing GiGi pics and enigma has credit for the adorable Kenshin Mega Man sprite!

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Re: ~UDRRP: Forlorn Field Trip~ {OOC} MURDER APPS UPDATE 

Message par Dave » Mer Mars 04, 2015 1:55 am

spd12 a écrit :
Spoiler : Dave - Hikaru Yukimura, Super Sentai :
You mentioned hating how she tried to destroy all the booze in the bar, where to me that felt like a powerful moment where I had to consider if that might've played a role in her background and frustrations. Leaving interesting speculation for readers is always good, as it keeps them invested in wanting to read/know more!


Spoiler : Response :
Overall, there's a bit of miscommunication with this one. For clarification's sake, I would have liked the scene a lot more if I hadn't decided to do it as a joke. I wrote the whole thing as a joke, and as a stupid reference to JoJo. (I believe Hikaru did an ORAORA.) I appreciate that you saw more in it than me, but it overall was meant to just be a stupid scene with no point. I covered it up later, trying to justify it, but in all actuality it was a joke that interrupted a scene between characters. There's no way I, as Hikaru's writer, can accept that as a powerful moment especially when I know what my intent was at the time.

The scene COULD be powerful, if I had taken the scene seriously. Intent is everything to me, and that's what ruins the whole thing imo.


That's really my only qualm with the review. Thanks for that.

Fun little note for thanks., Hikaru's hands bleeding near the end of the first trial was meant to symbolize her trying to force the leadership aspect even more than she had, which was supposed to be a lead in for later.

And actually the whole "using a more purple color" was actually a thing I somewhat did. Her eyes are blue. The pink was supposed to be more of her trying to force her main colors (white and red) together.
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Re: ~UDRRP: Forlorn Field Trip~ {OOC} MURDER APPS UPDATE 

Message par DLA » Mer Mars 04, 2015 4:28 am

spd12 a écrit :
Spoiler : Detective Luke Atmey - Phineas Masters, Ringmaster :
Your character felt extremely disconnected in writing. This may have been intentional as part of his character design. He came off as someone who was much more self-interested in his own thoughts and goals than any other person, and that's not a bad angle to go with.

The callous disregard for others was palpable when he set Jackie off during the motive reveal for chapter 2, and really a defining moment for him overall when he showed much more interest in his own personal advancement than anything else.

However, it honestly felt like you were writing more his reactions to events like he were an outside spectator instead of someone who was part of the game's environment.
To use a personal example, I felt he underreacted to the fact that he was in the company of someone who HELPED MURDER HARMON and came off as someone who may well have been AN ENEMY OF THE LAST BASTIONS OF HOPE, all brushed aside over the immediate situation of that silly moose head.

The sum and worth of a character is how they help push the story forward and affect the environment around them... and vice-versa. I feel you'll improve steadily as a writer once you break out of the mindset of just asking "how does my character react to this specific instance, right now" as opposed to "how does my character react to this as a summation of everything that has happened before?"


Spoiler : Response :
Making Phineas seem disconnected and self-interested in his own plans was on purpose, though I will admit that whole moose scene was not one of his best-written moments. I don't remember what exactly went through my head when I decided to have him ask Higami for help, it might have been a bit of a brain fart on my part. Considering how he reacted to Heath being executed, he probably should have been a lot more distrustful of Higami considering that he was part of the murder plot. I mentioned in my thing that he didn't really trust or distrust Higami because he felt his knowledge could be useful, though really he should have been more distrusting of him. You could chalk it up to his paranoia at the moment, or perhaps I simply had a brain fart. I'm honestly not sure as it happened months ago, so I don't know why I'm writing this, but I felt the need to.


The review was good, though. Thank you for it.
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The Final but not so ending chapter.
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Re: ~UDRRP: Forlorn Field Trip~ {OOC} MURDER APPS UPDATE 

Message par Blackrune » Mer Mars 04, 2015 4:50 am

Spoiler : Blackrune - Mikoko Kamiyashiro, Shrine Maiden :
I am amazed with how intricately designed she must have been, with her mannerisms and just about everything about her. You have an understated way of presenting your characters that is very concise. It lends itself a little more mystery as a result, which in a setting like this, is good.

A lot of what really made her shine was locked behind spoiler tags, most of which I could only read now that the game has been officially declared dead. This is something that crops up with multiple people, where unless you interacted with them directly, odds are good you only ever saw little of them. I was impressed with what I discovered on a re-read - the duality of the character is intriguing.

One thing that does puzzle me is the seeming presence of a supernatural element where the setting tends to forego that sort of thing. Regardless of how theme-breaking the concept might be, it did seem like you had a good handle on it.

I'd have loved to see how she would have developed from there, if there were any other interesting aspects to her to bring front and center at some point. It seems like you bowed out of both DR style games entirely as of writing, which is a shame given your reputation on the site as a highly respected trialmaker.

A part of me feels like more should be said here, but there isn't much more I could add.

Well, since you apparently took the time to read through the spoiler tags, I'll bless you (ha, had to) with a bit of clarity.
Spoiler : intentions :
No matter what my writing suggested, the supernatural element doesn't really exist.
Or rather, the intention was that within the RP it could be taken either way.
The truth is more or less laid out in the app, though I would probably never have confirmed it, just so people can either choose to believe it's a legitimate god... or that there's some kind of split-personality/Mikoko being a really good roleplayer. She IS a SHSL Shrine Maiden after all.

So that's that. Now, intentions. Uh...

Overall, I just went crazy in my app to see how far I could go and how detailed I could make her. I guess the result was this 14 year old shrine maiden that can summon a cat god with a second personality that followed complicated rules related to Shinto and what she thought of herself and the world.
I've always considered writing characters one of my weaknesses, so I wanted to challenge myself with this one just to see how well I could pull off one with what I considered a somewhat more complicated design.

In conclusion, I'm not really sure what to think about the result. I do think I pulled her off reasonably well... but I feel like I spent a little too much time figuring out how to write her and keep her consistent, and may have ended up not interacting enough with other characters as a result. I should have known it would be difficult to keep writing her... but at least it was the fun kind of difficult.

I didn't plan too far ahead and mostly just focused on always writing her accurately no matter what happens. Yeah... I have to admit I didn't really have much more of a specific intention for her character beyond what I said above. Ultimately, I think that was for the best. You absolutely cannot predict where the story of an RP like this mgith go, and trying to establish a purpose for the character in the overall story beforehand would probably have been bound to terribly backfire anyway, so I tried to keep my options open.
She was mostly intended to be a survivor, though I was prepared for all possible scenarios. There was also a chance she would turn into a murderer. (In fact, "Shoukichi" was already somewhat on his way on giving up on the other students, but then Kyouji of all people managed to impress him.)

I'm not sure what else to say. There's probably more I could note or go into more detail, but it's been a while and I can't really think of anything right now.
And here's the app for good measure:
Spoiler : Mikoko Kamiyashiro's app :
*Name:
Mikoko Kamiyashiro (神社 巫女子)

*SHSL Talent:
Shrine Maiden

*Age:
14

*Sex:
Female

Birthday:
7th July

Blood Type:
AB-

Weight:
47.37kg / ~104.43 lbs

Nationality:
Japanese (almost feels like a waste now, but shrine maidens ain't anywhere else)

*Appearance:
5'2" tall. I'm not sure what to put here except that she's fairly slim. I guess you could see she's a little athletic - as far as that's even visible for a 14-year-old-girl - if she wasn't wearing clothes. Hair is black and somewhat longer than shoulder length. Her eye color is blue. And her chest is flat. That should be all.

*Clothing:
Think standard japanese shrine maiden attire. So a red hakama/skirt plus a white kimono jacket thing.
Wears a small leather collar with a Futatsudomoe symbol, or two-fold tomoe, depicted on a round plate at the front.
Her hair is a standard hime cut at the front, but tied to two white ribbons in the back. This is done in such a complicated way that most of the hair is still hanging down like in a hime cut that's going down to roughly shoulder length, slightly above it. However, the hair that's hanging down is technically divided into seven sections by small gaps. Due to the nature of hair, this may not really be visible.
She also has red cat ears with thick black borders on her head. (Just to be safe: if the cat ear is a triangle, it'd be black with a smaller, red triangle in the middle.)
Her eyes are covered by a black cloth blindfold going around her head. (below the hair though) Not visible, but on the side of the blindfold that's under her hair on the back of her head, two green cat eyes are drawn.
Has four white pieces of paper lined up on her chest, showing the kanji for West, North, South, and East from left to right in that order. (calligraphy-style, btw.)
From underneath the right side of the opening of the kimono jacket (slightly below her right shoulder, all of the following is from her perspective now btw, so her genuine right shoulder, not the one WE would see on the right from our perspective.) there's
a metal chain coming out and going all the way to her left arm. It wraps one time around the upper part of the left arm's sleeve, then proceeds to go around her waist one time. Finally, it goes on time over her right arm's sleeve and then vanishes inside the sleeve, connecting to the starting point again under the clothes. But that ain't visible.
In the center of the the waist part of the chain, a small wooden box is actually interrupting the chain. This box has a keyhole visible in the front and a slit in the top. (it's actually a donation box.)
She's normally carrying a long stick with two fairly long pieces of shide (elaborately folded paper, kind of zig-zaggy. Google it.) hanging down from the top.
There are also several o-fuda charms attached to the upper half of the stick.
You can think of them as pieces of paper with the following written on each in really stylized calligraphy:
神 第
社 七
巫 柱
女 の
子 招
__吉

Finally, she carries a coffin on her back, which has a pretty dark red color. She wears it like a backpack, with two straps attached to it. Both of these straps can be easily opened at the front, they essentially work like belts. The coffin isn't that big, but big enough for her to theoretically fit in if she made herself small.

*Personality:
Normally, she acts like a very pure young girl. She can't bear seeing someone sad and will try everything in her might to cheer them up. Fairly naive, modest, and timid, to an extent.
May randomly decide to perform a ritual to help someone. May also randomly start a 'mission' to accomplish something, though it's often not quite certain what she means by that. Doesn't really understand 'being evil' and interprets people to do bad deeds as them 'doing it by accident'.
She can't handle sad things at all. Obviously fairly religious, as she believes in spirits and the like, as well as that she's a representative of a cat god.

She may 'summon' the cat god for various reasons. When she does, her personality changes drastically.
She genuinely acts as if she's the cat god Shoukichi. This basically means she acts like a fairly proud cat. Unlike her normal persona,
Shoukichi is fairly pragmatic and by no means naive. He's way more down-to-business and sharp as his medium.
He generally demands respect and will be offended if it's not given to him. It's likely to result in him ignoring whoever offended him completely until they somehow make up for it.
Likes to roll up and take a nap on a pillow. Also likes to hide in unusual spots. Detests all other animals, except the ones he can hunt as prey.

Effectively, this other personality also acts as somewhat of a coping mechanism.
As she's bad with sad stuff and likely to just break down crying whenever something tragic happens, she is likely to switch to her cat god personality to escape such situations, protecting her 'pure' side.

*Why This Character Wants to Join the Future Foundation:
Well, with the world supposedly in flames, there wasn't much left of her village. She was sent to the Future Foundation as a means to provide 'good fortune'. After all, in times of need, desperate people flocked to her shrine, where she provided them with 'hope'. Seems like a fairly good fit against despair. As someone hopelessly idealistic, trying to help the Future Foundation rebuild the world seems kind of like a really obvious step for her.

*Backstory:
Mikoko was born in a mountain town. Immediately after birth, a cat came by and lied down right next to the baby.
The villagers interpreted this as a sign by the local cat god to demand this child. Consequently, it was decided
Mikoko would have to live at the local Shinto Shrine as the cat god's personal shrine maiden.
This cat god was depicted in the room she got, in the form of a typical Maneki-neko statuette.
It was known as 'Shoukichi of the 7th pillar', going back to an old legend about a cat sitting on the 7th pillar of an unfinished fence, protecting the fields from mice while the fence was completed.
After this, many other positive things were attributed to the cat god's blessing.
While there are 10 gods in total worshipped in the shrine, the cat god has always been considered fairly important because of its association with good fortune.
Being raised away from her parents in a shrine, she often played with animals and invisible 'spirits' instead.
Of course, there were no actual spirits, and she just took their role. She was one day spotted roleplaying like that by another shrine maiden, who spreaded the rumor that
the cat god has spoken through Mikoko. This eventually reached Mikoko's own ears as well, and she slowly began to believe it, solidifying the idea in her head.
The rest is a long story, but basically she's had some adventures in her village leading to her current appearance, then despair happened and it was decided she would go help the Future Foundation.

Any other miscellaneous information:
-Despite wearing a blindfold, she can see just fine. It's not that lightproof. Her eyes have developed a sensivity to light so she pretty much has to wear them, though she may take them off in the dark. She can see just fine in the dark because of this, of course. Like a cat.
-When becoming the cat god, she pulls the blindfold until the green cat eyes that are drawn on the other side of it are in front of her eyes instead.
-She once messed up when trying to go to town with the donation box, resulting in the chain that was supposed to hold it being weirdly entangled with her outfit like that. People seemed to be amused by it and donated much more on that day, so she never attempted to fix it again.
-She refers to the coffin as her 'gehoubako', a box with supernatural things in them. There's actually just a big pillow inside for her to nap on. Due to popular depictions being unclear on this, she misinterpreted vampires as nice people, somehow leading to this.
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Re: ~UDRRP: Forlorn Field Trip~ {OOC} MURDER APPS UPDATE 

Message par Trybien » Mer Mars 04, 2015 5:39 pm

spd a écrit :
Spoiler : Trybien - Katsuro Kyouken, Yo-yoer :
I'm going to have to open this one on a bit of a downer, as it is the most distinctive thing that defined the character for me, so please bear with me here.

The biggest criticism is in his behavior during the trial - and yours as a player, too. I wasn't sure where the player's thoughts end and the character's began. There didn't seem to be much to his character other than 'win the trial,' with how quick he switched gears. This, and you went and publically trashed the work everyone involved put forth on the trial with Zeta. I had to sit through that in silence, given the rules in place about not exposing yourself unless given the GM say-so.

It was extremely hurtful to experience, and I need to repeat it again here so everyone reading understands the following: we may sometimes be writing villains, but the writers are still human beings who put forth a lot of work to give you guys something to solve. No one should feel punished for helping push the main thrust of the game, even if a few mistakes still managed to slip through the cracks.

Now... I do feel you were starting to turn this around in Chapter 2, when Katsuro was making some very harrowing decisions that would bring a bunch of people together under his line of thinking. THIS is good drama. This helped solidify his character a lot more, and going over the archives I was very much respecting the direction he was going. His conflicts with Kari was starting to show some added depth to his person as well, which I liked.

He had a rough start, where he seemed to barely have any character other than trying to run with what you (the player) thought was amusing ans leaving at that, but stood to have an incredible finish. I'm purposely withholding some details in case you want to share them yourself - as you have not posted in this thread in a while - but considering I spent the beginning of this space with criticism, I feel it's best to leave this on a good note.

I felt you grew as a writer very quickly in a short amount of time, so I'm sure you already took the lessons from above to heart from here on out.


Spoiler : Response and Some in general UDR stuff as well as much sentimentalism :
As hard as it might be for me to say, I agree with the entirety of your response Sod. In particular, I am not particularly proud of myself during the trial. UDR in has been an incredible learning experience for me, and even though there were sore moments in its lifespan, I've taken more experience than regrets. Your review of Katsuro very much maps out my own growth.

Now to be fair, I had apped and even gmd a few rps in the past, but they either died or I lost interest in posting. In the distant past when I was considerably more active (and more noobish than now), the forum was a very different place. (Well at least to me, I can't speak to others.) Namely in the forum games and roleplaying category. Between the Trial by Posts (heh, probably the only real contribution to this site is coining that trash title) and silly rps like AAO Cadeuceus (wow I feel old now TT3TT), roleplaying was a much a less serious part of the community compared to these past few years. Compared to now, rps in the past never were really about the story and more about just having fun. (At least things seemed that way in my eye) Things began to change with the legend known as Endless Time (which I regretably was not as active and should have made a better app for posting). Around that point, life got much busier for me and I was unable to spend as much time on AAO. A few years pass while I just follow the boards and make spontaneous appearances here and there, then one day, I saw the trailer for Dangan Ronpa:Trigger Happy Havoc, and I get really intrigued. (This was really my first time really understanding what it was). Imagine my surprise when I saw the SDRZ rp, and then I skimmed through it. What really solidified my excitement was the very impressive executions. I was actually quite sad when I learned that I missed playing the game. Not to long after, I saw there was a new DRP in the works and I quickly apped... and was denied from .2. I was actually quite depressed from making it, but my hopes were renewed with the arrival of UDR. After re-editing the previous app a wee bit, I sent it into Ami and crew, and was denied till I elaborated on certain parts and then made it better (which i only did slightly.) Anyways, I got into the game, and practiced a bit as Katsuro and got things started. It should be noted that at this time, I viewed rps as a fun pastime and not as anything completely serious. The viewing of this as a game eventually came to bite me in the boot.

This is the point that I'd like to publicly apologies (don't remember if I did this already) to Spd and Enigma for any grief I caused them from my comments. Complaining about the murder, no matter how right I believe my opinion to have been, it is no excuse for hurting those who worked so hard on a murder that took a lot of time and effort to be brought to us. Are there things I still things I have issue with it? Yes, but they've been voiced before in all the wrong ways. Though criticism is important so we can improve our writing in the future, making it a personal agenda to demonize the work and its author are hundreds of times worse than my issues, and I take a large part of the responsibility for the soreness of the entire situation.

I should mention to clarify that even though I personally wanted to solve the trial, the reason (though not necessarily good) Katsuro acted so aggressively is not because he wanted to solve the case, but because he wanted to avenge Harmon, who he thought of as a friend. Was it a reflection of my own hostility at the time? Absolutely, but even if Harmon were to have been murdered later or if Seltha were to have been a victim, he would have responded in nearly the same way. Now by no means am I condoning my actions, and in all likelyhood, I probably took on more of Katsuro's anger than portray my own on him.

As the whole situation escalated, I realized (with some discussion with spd) that Katsuro was no longer Katsuro, but rather me. I knew the anger of what was happening only made look and feel like a bad person. I did try to distract myself with other tasks and such, but everything came back to UDR. With the trial over, I realized that it was a good time to start to actually tell Katsuros story, and finish it. For those who read the scene in Katsuros room after the trial with Seltha and Hikaru, it should be obvious, but for the others not so much. Basically, Katsuro, with the assistance of Seltha and Hikaru, was to murder Higami. (This is the part that spd was talking about that was under wraps). Now you may be asking why spd knew about this, but the answer is quite simple. I asked him to help. Knowing his focus storytelling in rp, I took a gamble to ask him to help create the best murder app we could. (It should be noted that it was a bit after we started originally). Now I don't want to reveal the murder app quite yet, as I would rather see how the players would have solved it. (Now since the rp is over, theres not much i could do beyond presenting it in alternative forms, like in the trial player...) Now unfortunately we didnt get any comments back besides that there shouldn't be two accomplices (which how it was written and how the accomplices were to work made it impossible to re-edit anyways). We got no response afterwards, so I hope that the app wasnt the major cause of the rp dying through the gms not being able to decide what they thought would be the best and most balanced. (Thats only speculation, and I don't want to speak for the gms. Anyways, spd, feel free to talk about the experience of the apping, just nothing critical in solving. (So motivations are fine).

Back to the topic of growth, this time period of making the app quite literally is the biggest influence of my growth. During the first chapter trial, I couldn't even fathom how one would be so attached to a murder app. At the time, I thought of it as a quick type up and send. Boy was I wrong. The murder app we worked on had about 20 individual pieces of evidence with some having multiple updates. To me, this app was like a child, and I fullheartedly believed it was the one to be accepted. I finally appreciated the time and sacrifices needed that go into such a process. And I felt (and still feel) ashamed of how I treated rps in generally. Rps can be about fun, but the rp is at its best and most fun when a group of friends work together to tell a story. Though the smallest bump in the road can derail a rp and prevent it from continuing on, caring for and loving the work you put into a rp and being willing to learn so the next one can be even better. I think the most important lesson though is to be flexible. I am positive that there are many of us that go into a rp expecting the story to go a certain way, but knowing a story can go into many different ways makes the end product even more exciting.


Now I think thats more than enough rambling. I'll get Katuros app up at sometime when I get home since its saved on my cpu.
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Re: ~UDRRP: Forlorn Field Trip~ {OOC} MURDER APPS UPDATE 

Message par spd12 » Jeu Mars 05, 2015 1:23 pm

Thanks for all the feedback to the... uh, feedback. Feedback^2.

Yesterday I hashed out a series of ideas on how the murders might have gone down - educated guesses - or at least what I think might have been the best picks in terms of story.

I'd like to reiterate that being an earlier death does not diminish one's worth as a character. Not every prospective killer gets their kill in, and some of the choices are a little meta... but I think it'd be a good way for it all to have gone down.

The main reason I put this up now is because I like the open discussion we've been having, and also because I'm about to be hit by heavy snow and figure... might as well!

Keep in mind I did this up after skimming the entire game.

Spoiler : Murder arrangements?! :
Heath (Sports Team Fan) killing Harmon (Playwright) is canon in Chapter 1.

Chapter 2... Although the murder app did get rejected, I would've wholly gone for Katsuro (Yo-Yoer) killing Higami (Conspiracy Theorist). Odds are very good Higami would have been dead either way from what I know of at least one other prospective apper, but story-wise this would've been the best one - Katsuro tries to sacrifice himself to take out a threat, unaware of Higami's actual motives. Tragedy happens.

Chapter 3... I go with Kari (Masseuse) killing Ariel (Gunsmith) and Raymond (Pyrotechnician) in a double-murder to clear out the Kill Me First list of C2. I know Kari was hankering to get in a kill but I forget who she would've gone for originally, probably would've done in these two to increase chances of the app being accepted. Kari, the crazed despair sympathetic individual, goes all-out to take out as much of hope's last stand as possible even if she doesn't get away with it.

Chapter 4... Hikaru (Super Sentai) finally loses her faith in wake of Katsuro's and Kari's actions and does in Calliope (Diva), unaware at the time that by killing Calliope, she actually did take out another despair-backed monster. This would probably give her a flash of sympathy until Monokuma shows evidence to the otherwise just as she's carted to execution, which I think would be very good reading by multi-man improv standards.

Chapter 5... Anthony (Songwriter) takes out Robert/Ogi (Bodybuilder/Roboticist). This one is more meta - Gav considered Anthony disposable and was intending to kill with him in the second half of the game, and I'm only making a guess based on possible activity levels at the time that he wouldn't want to step on toes. I couldn't formulate much for Anthony's character since by his design, there wasn't all too much, but he'd be a late game killer for sure if he made it that far.

By Chapter 6... this leaves seven people alive, going clockwise with the trial seating arrangements: Min Ri (Sniper), Phineas (Ringmaster), Daisuke (Marksman), Kyouji (Treasure Hunter), Mikoko (Shrine Maiden), Seltha (Survivalist), and Jackie (Punk Rocker).

This leaves room for any one of them to have been the mastermind all along... unless it was over on the NPC side. If it were one of the PCs all along, you'd get a neat and even six survivors at the very end of it. Which one would you guys pick as mastermind?

I ask this for sake of discussion, as it wasn't too clear looking from the outside in if anyone actually was.
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Re: ~UDRRP: Forlorn Field Trip~ {OOC} MURDER APPS UPDATE 

Message par Wackyman » Jeu Mars 05, 2015 1:43 pm

Wow, looks like I'm a bit late to the party, eh? The fact that I only realized this was dead now should give you a general idea of my current level of investment in the AAO RP scene.

I thank you for the attempt at a review, spd, and I'm sorry I didn't give you much to work with there. I'm disappointed as well that I was not able to fully realize Raymond as a character. I think the concept for Raymond is my favorite among those I've designed. I went into this RP with a clear goal in mind - something that often rarely happens for me as I usually tend to just improve in RPs - and I was eager to see it through. However, Raymond was a character unlike anything I had written before, and as a result I found he was rather difficult to write. Thus, I feel I botched up his execution completely. I'm reading over his app right now and holy hell is this thing a mess. It needed a lot more TLC because while there's an idea here the way it was conveyed is...eeugh.

I had a lot of plans for DR3D and they all crumbled. The fact of the matter was that I was just unable to churn out posts at a consistent rate to match everyone else's pace. It's true that both DRs had plenty of instances of huge dips in activity and I could've caught up during these lulls, but I felt like that ship had sailed (if this were DRRP2 I'd say "no pun intended"). I felt that if Raymond's character was going to be as poignant and tragic as I had envisioned it would be, I had to completely on top of his character arc from start to finish. I might do an "inside look" into Raymond in the same fashion GD & co. have done, but I'll say up front right now that Raymond was designed to be a killer from the very start. I could've had him kill someone in Chapter 2 and have tried and tell his story from there, but it would've felt way too forced. I wanted all of his actions, struggles, interactions, and inner demons to culminate into a huge finale with his eventual killing. As you know, there was very little of any of that. I completely dropped the ball, and I don't think I was fit to ever see this plan through in the first place.

(As sort of an aside for this little rant here, I remembered that what Raymond was most known for on xat was being "the guy who liked eggs". I sort of egged on [pun completely intended this time] that joke and thought it was funny at the time, but thinking it over the fact that that's probably his biggest legacy [along with the "Raymond blinked" post] bothers me a bit. I really wanted this character to be something more. It's very disappointing...)

When I realized I could not keep pace and I felt trying to return to DR3D was a lost cause, I signed him up to be a potential victim. If I couldn't tell his arc, at the very least he could be used as a stepping stone for progression and someone else's character development.

...
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But seriously, whether he was a killer or a victim I would've been fine with either outcome. I think DR3D has helped me learn a bit about myself as a writer. I've been struggling to find my own style of writing for a long time now. I've tried mixing and matching various different elements and I don't think they've meshed well, and nowhere is that greater exemplified that in DR3D, I feel. I need to find a writing style and become comfortable with it, and I think I'm finally getting there. I hope to reuse Raymond's character sometime in the future and see that he gets the development I feel he deserves. However, if I reuse him, it won't be in an AAO RP. To be completely honest, I don't think I'll be joining any other AAO RP in the foreseeable future. I'm not really feeling it. I've had a lot of fun in all of the RPs I've been in, but something within me snapped a while back and I realized that this wasn't a scene I wanted to be part of anymore. This is of course by no means meant to be a stab at the AAO RP community, but moreso me feeling like I don't belong in it anymore. I still have obligations in some RPs that I promised I would see through, so my involvement won't completely end, but it will be very scarce as I try to completely distance myself from it. ...Which, considering the current status of AAO in turn means my activity on the site will probably also be scarce. Well, regardless, I'm not going anywhere anytime soon. I'll still be bumming around this site. Ya can't get rid of me that easy.

Anyway, I thank you for reading my silly little vent, kind reader. Unless you're a douche reader in which case stop reading my crap.
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[3/19/14 11:31:48 PM] Ultimate Butt-Rubber (Gumpei): on the other hand you could try playing with your balls submerged in icy water
[3/19/14 11:31:51 PM] Nick (Hodou): yeah I'm thinking that's the idea.

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Re: ~UDRRP: Forlorn Field Trip~ {OOC} MURDER APPS UPDATE 

Message par Trybien » Jeu Mars 05, 2015 7:33 pm

spd12 a écrit :Thanks for all the feedback to the... uh, feedback. Feedback^2.

Yesterday I hashed out a series of ideas on how the murders might have gone down - educated guesses - or at least what I think might have been the best picks in terms of story.

I'd like to reiterate that being an earlier death does not diminish one's worth as a character. Not every prospective killer gets their kill in, and some of the choices are a little meta... but I think it'd be a good way for it all to have gone down.

The main reason I put this up now is because I like the open discussion we've been having, and also because I'm about to be hit by heavy snow and figure... might as well!

Keep in mind I did this up after skimming the entire game.

Spoiler : Murder arrangements?! :
Heath (Sports Team Fan) killing Harmon (Playwright) is canon in Chapter 1.

Chapter 2... Although the murder app did get rejected, I would've wholly gone for Katsuro (Yo-Yoer) killing Higami (Conspiracy Theorist). Odds are very good Higami would have been dead either way from what I know of at least one other prospective apper, but story-wise this would've been the best one - Katsuro tries to sacrifice himself to take out a threat, unaware of Higami's actual motives. Tragedy happens.

Chapter 3... I go with Kari (Masseuse) killing Ariel (Gunsmith) and Raymond (Pyrotechnician) in a double-murder to clear out the Kill Me First list of C2. I know Kari was hankering to get in a kill but I forget who she would've gone for originally, probably would've done in these two to increase chances of the app being accepted. Kari, the crazed despair sympathetic individual, goes all-out to take out as much of hope's last stand as possible even if she doesn't get away with it.

Chapter 4... Hikaru (Super Sentai) finally loses her faith in wake of Katsuro's and Kari's actions and does in Calliope (Diva), unaware at the time that by killing Calliope, she actually did take out another despair-backed monster. This would probably give her a flash of sympathy until Monokuma shows evidence to the otherwise just as she's carted to execution, which I think would be very good reading by multi-man improv standards.

Chapter 5... Anthony (Songwriter) takes out Robert/Ogi (Bodybuilder/Roboticist). This one is more meta - Gav considered Anthony disposable and was intending to kill with him in the second half of the game, and I'm only making a guess based on possible activity levels at the time that he wouldn't want to step on toes. I couldn't formulate much for Anthony's character since by his design, there wasn't all too much, but he'd be a late game killer for sure if he made it that far.

By Chapter 6... this leaves seven people alive, going clockwise with the trial seating arrangements: Min Ri (Sniper), Phineas (Ringmaster), Daisuke (Marksman), Kyouji (Treasure Hunter), Mikoko (Shrine Maiden), Seltha (Survivalist), and Jackie (Punk Rocker).

This leaves room for any one of them to have been the mastermind all along... unless it was over on the NPC side. If it were one of the PCs all along, you'd get a neat and even six survivors at the very end of it. Which one would you guys pick as mastermind?

I ask this for sake of discussion, as it wasn't too clear looking from the outside in if anyone actually was.


Spoiler : Who clearly is the mastermind :
Kyouji
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Re: ~UDRRP: Forlorn Field Trip~ {OOC} MURDER APPS UPDATE 

Message par Court-Records » Dim Mars 08, 2015 4:18 am

Oh, hmm it's dead. I was wondering what was the going ons with this? I admit, I rarely check AAO at the moment. Don't all recall what I did with Kari, because I don't have my app on me.

So Kari was a MTF Transsexual as you could see from the characters page for IC. So that was a thing the characters didn't know, but some of you might have. She was actually thankful to Monokuma for the change to the world, as pre-incident people gave her a really hard time for her sex change. I did have a murder app in my head, but it never got the finishing touches. Would have been that she killed Ariel, the MTF Transgender, and after realizing that they were similiar in that sort of aspect, basically freaked the hell out. Some nice little character development, and a murder involving ice, hot tub, cans of paint, and so on. It's around my PC somewhere. Anyways, I enjoyed playing while I did. Thanks everyone. - CR

EDIT: Look at SPD making the plays. Raymond dying actually was an add-on I did have, if the GM wanted me to be a bit more ballsy, haha
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Re: ~UDRRP: Forlorn Field Trip~ {OOC} MURDER APPS UPDATE 

Message par Gav » Lun Mars 30, 2015 12:40 am

not to necropost or anything but

I was intending to kill Calliope chapter 4. ...So spd would've gotten it half right if it had come to that.
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Re: ~UDRRP: Forlorn Field Trip~ {OOC} MURDER APPS UPDATE 

Message par gotMLK7 » Lun Mars 30, 2015 12:43 am

BTW can we know who the Mastermind was in the end?
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Hersh/Fiendy has credit for the amazing GiGi pics and enigma has credit for the adorable Kenshin Mega Man sprite!

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Re: ~UDRRP: Forlorn Field Trip~ {OOC} MURDER APPS UPDATE 

Message par Sleuth » Lun Avr 18, 2016 1:05 am

I mashed together a bunch of the stories I wrote in Daisuke's GM notes. It's some okay stuff.

Oh and I probably swore in there, so PRE-EMPTIVE LANGUAGE WARNING.

Check it out I guess.
Dernière édition par Sleuth le Lun Avr 18, 2016 4:03 am, édité 1 fois.
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Re: ~UDRRP: Forlorn Field Trip~ {OOC} MURDER APPS UPDATE 

Message par kwando1313 » Lun Avr 18, 2016 2:06 am

Those were so much fun to read :3




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