Dave Text LPs: RPGmaker games

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lazyplague
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Dave Text LPs: RPGmaker games

Post by lazyplague »

Dave Text LPs: RPGmaker Horor Gaems

You know those RPGmaker games that no one ever talks about? (Besides me of course.) Well if you didn’t, you know now.

Anyway, for started, I decided that I had such a huge backlog of these things that I might as well find the best possible way to make people realize that some of these either suck or are the best gaming experiences in the history of gaming. (None of these will be the latter, trust me.) And it occurred to me… “Why not torment myself by writing up huge Text LPs of games I’ll probably hate? That’ll be fun.”

Long story short, we’re playing lots and lots of RPGmaker games. Get ready for unfunny commentary

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Table of Contents:

1. Black-sempai - Here

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LP Session 1:

Spoiler : Warning, ends early due to the game having innappropriate content in it, nothing is shown. Play at your own risk. I am only posting this because I wrote it all down, and I'm not wasting that. :
DISCLAIMER: THERE WILL BE NO LINK GIVEN, DUE TO THIS GAME BEING SUDDENLY NSFW.

And now, we begin with with a cult classi- “No Getting Lost in the Dark of the Black Mansion with the Black Sempai”

Well, this is already promising. Let’s begin with some background info. This is a game by Aebanomori and translated by Tosaki. All of these strange names are giving me a headache, but let’s go over the premise… Or at least what I can gather from the screenshots. Anyway

You’re some gloomy looking student who has a stalker senpai, who is clad entirely in black. You must not get lost with her, because game title.

Yeah, that is literally all I can get, sorry. Anyway, the game’s gotten a lot of attention apparently, reaching 170,000+ on Freem. That is a lot for a game like this, so maybe we’ll get something decent. Hopefully? My hopes aren’t up unfortunately.

Image

Senpai I think your boobs are a bit too dangerously big. How is that not painful?

Image

And here we find our first bit of dialogue. I won’t be taking screencaps for all bits of dialogue, so I’ll be writing it all down instead, with the screenshots happening when something absurd or a scene change appears.

Sempai: Where are you going?

Image (This is Reiichi, our protagonist, ftr. Very very weird looking isn’t he?)

Reiichi: Sempai?

Reiichi: Before that, if I may ask you something

Reiichi: Where did you appear from?

Sempai: I simply came down from the second floor.

Reiichi: This is my home, not your home. (LAYIN’DOWNDALAW)

Sempai: I am your servant, Reiichi-kun (Ick.)

Sempai: It would be no exaggeration to say that we are one in body and soul. (Still ick)

Reiichi: It is an exaggeration.

Sempai: Though I’d like for my question to be answered this time. (You sneak into a person’s house, creepily call you his servant… And you want to know where he’s going. Lady I think you need to look at what situation you’re in.)

Sempai: Where are you going?

Dave: The hell away from you ya creep. (I wish I could say this in the game.)

Reiichi: Do I have to answer?

Sempai: If you don’t answer, I will simply follow behind you.

Reiichi: ………. (Me too Reiichi, me too.)

Reiichi: It’s this.

*Paper noises*

Sempai: A help wanted leaflet for a part time job?

Sempai: A cleaning job at a mansion on the outskirts of town?

Sempai: A daily allowance of 30 thousand yen each week……

Reiichi: So I am simply going there for an interview.

Reiichi: You don’t have to follow along.
Sempai: To get a part time job.

Sempai: Is it because there’s something you want, I wonder?

Sempai: Though I could give up to 700 million yen.

Reiichi: I don’t need it.

Reiichi: Or rather, where does that kind of fortune even come from?

Sempai: But as I’ve said, there’s no need to get involved in such a strange mysterious part-time job like this. (Says the lady offering the strange mysterious money.)

Reiichi: It’s at least better than some strange mysterious fortune. (Omg.)

Scene change:

Image

Sempai: But I’d like for you to think about this calmly.

Sempai: Don’t you think this is dubious?

Reiichi: Well, I guess so.

Reiichi: It does seem fishy, but

Sempai: As for part time jobs, there ought to be closer and more familiar ones out there.

Sempai: Or is it the dubious nature that attracts you (I actually skipped this line, but I remembered it kinda, no worries)

Reiichi: So, I’ll be going now.

Sempai: I will follow along.

Reiichi: You can’t. (strike em down reiichi)

Sempai: I’ll be following you. (or not)

Reiichi: …….

*bike noises*

Scene change:

Image

Reiichi: Sprinted with my bicycle as fast as I could.

Reiichi: Surely I’ve shaken her off with this. (By game logic, no, you haven’t. She’s somewhere, just not here.)

SUDDENLY SEMPAI APPEARS what a shocker.

Sempai: Quite a large mansion, isn’t it?

Sempai: I never noticed there was a mansion like this here. (Maybe if you stopped stalking this loser you’d notice more things than Kouhai.)

Reiichi: ……..

Reiichi: How did you…..

Sempai: The address was written on the flyer. (It was written so well that you basically fast traveled to the location)

Reiichi: That’s not what I meant.

Sempai: Perhaps i’ll also go the job interview. (Maybe you should. Get a job, clean up your act, live your live. Decrease the size of your breasts.)

Reiichi: But they’ll only be hiring one.

Reiichi: Sempai?

Sempai: What is it, Reiichi-kun?

Reiichi: For a servant, you really don’t listen much to what I say, do you? (You know, I like this gy, he THINKS about things. He’s smart. Let’s hope he doesn’t downgrade to pervy protag.)

Sempai: Reiichi-kun’s personal safety is first.

Reiichi: Personal safety, you say?

Reiichi: By that, are you saying that something is going to happen?

Sempai: Unexpected things can happen quite regularly.

Sempai: Not to mention the fact that you’re going into unfamiliar ground.

Reiichi: Haah….

*Knocking at door*

*Door opens*

Scene change:

Image

Sempai: it’s quite dim, isn’t it? (Well, I can see fine, but then again that’s meta.)

Reiichi: So I’ve ended up taking along a pitiful sempai who received a bad blow to her head and started calling herself my servant.

Reiichi: As for an explanation to this, I lose my will to think about it….

Sempai: More sensitive than I though, aren’t you Reiichi-kun?

Reiichi: Yes. (Gotta say, this guy pulls no crap, no typical “No I’m not!”, just serious. I’m liking it in a way.)

Reiichi: Which is why I’d like for you to sympathize.

Sempai: I’ll pet your head for you.

Reiichi: Please stop. (How I feel about the characterization of this sempai.)

Sempai: You’re at a difficult age, aren’t you?

Reiichi: Umm, sempai.

Sempai: What is it?

Reiichi: It still hasn’t gotten too late yet, so can you go back home for me?

Sempai: even if you tell me that…..

Sempai: The door is now locked. (Of course it is, it always is.)

Reiichi: eh? *goes to check the door*

Reiichi: ………

Sempai: I told you, didn’t I?

Reiichi: So what is this? (A horror game ya buttdumb.)

Sempai: If only I knew. (Something tells me you know.)

Sempai: It might just be somewhat of an elaborate interview, possible right? (And Dangan Ronpa was just a prank pulled by the staff of Hope’s Peak.)

Reiichi: Some kind of latch that was lowered from the outside…..?

Reiichi: It doesn’t seem like it’ll open even if I use force.

Sempai: Clearly an ill-intentioned trap, isn’t it? (Make up your mind on what you want it to be.)

Reiichi: Maybe just some mistake, possibly….. (It’s never a mistake.)

Sempai: Hanlon’s razor, you mean? I wonder. (I had to fix up the structure of this sentence, it was a mess.)

Sempai: And just what kind of layout mistake would have locked us in with the most precise timing like this? (Lady. the timing didn’t have to be precise, they had at least a minute to set it off with you and your kouhai’s yappin’)

Reiichi: At least for now….

Reiichi: Let’s try finding someone. (And in their hearts, they found each other… Not.)

Sempai: I think that’s the proper decision.

*Ghost walks by*

Image

And we’re mobile folks! Took long enough! Let’s start by saving the hell out of this.

Image

Wait….

Image

What…? Anything inappropriate will be left out, ftr. Anyway, if we click talk we get this.

Reiichi: What happened to the part-time job interview, I wonder.

Reiichi: Maybe because I brought along an outsider, it was cancelled?

Reiichi: Or maybe, I was rejected as an employee?

Sempai: Ah, my fault?

Reiichi: There is that possibility.

Sempai: But, I can’t just leave you alone in a place like this, Reiichi-kun.

Sempai: It was a little disappointing with respect to the part time job but…

Sempai: Because if there is ever a threat, I will offer my abilities and protect you Reiichi-kun.

Sempai: And so, you can relax. (Coming from you, it’s REEEAAAAAL calming.)

Reiichi: Well, I guess you are reliable. (Reiichi no.)

And then, since the translator recommended clicking everything (I am hoping it's not what I think it is..-

OKAY NEVER USING THE SEXUAL HARASS OPTION EVER AGAIN. THAT IS DISGUSTING THIS GAME IS ENDING HERE OKAY.

Ending 1: What the hell game do you have no sense of decency? (I can’t link this game in the topic comfortably, so look it up by yourself if you have to, but this game is probably heavily sexualized and I will not be continuing, and I do not recommend you play it.)
Next game I choose will be very very much checked heavily on the internet for content like that. I'm sorry that it ended up like this, but I'll try and choose better. I'm just irked that there was no mature content label on the translator's site, something this thing desperately needs.
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Games played:

Black Sempai - Discontinued

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If you have any suggestions for games that didn't end up as badly as that one, please say so in the topic!
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