I have not read Twilight yet.
Why read Twilight? It's one of the most influential books of the 21st century, so I've got to read it. I need to know what all the fuss is about. And the only way for me to find what all the fuss is about is for me to actually read the stupid thing. So begets...
...in which I will read books like that, such as Game of Thrones, Hunger Games, etc. You can suggest books for this too! They must:
-have been written after 1950
-not be books I have read before (I will tell you if so)
-have had a large influence on the general populace of the 21st century
-be ones my public library has
So, without further ado, let's begin!
Twilight - Part 1
-and we begin with a biblical reference. This bodes well.
-..."Smiled in a friendly way as he sauntered forward to kill me" lolTwilight count: 1
-In one paragraph, a plane has traveled five hours. Oh, the magic of books.
-So this protagonist probably isn't a Mary Sue. That's nice.
-waitwaitwait isn't bella like 14? And isn't the driving age in washington 16? lolTwilight count: 2
-Bella's moving to Forks. She takes one trip to get ALL her stuff upstairs to her room... Meh, I won't count it.
-358 students is paradise bella what are you talking about.
-So, if Forks is the rainiest town in the US, then why hasn't it gotten more publicity for all the flooding that's SURELY been going on there? lolTwilight count: 3
-So the office is basically a normal office with normally annoying secretaries. Eh.
-Forks: Rainiest town in the US, very unremarkable. Mercedes and Porsche common. lolTwilight count: 4
-"No one was going to bite me." Considering what I know about this series, Bella pls.
-SENTINENT UNISEX RAINCOATS! What a marvel!
-They don't have lockers? Forks pls.
-Forks High School: 358 students. At least six buildings. lolTwilight count: 5
-"My mother is part albino", Bella says, without any indication from Stephenie Meyer that this is a joke.
-So wait. If all their faces are amazingly beautiful and one of the girls is a tomato, why aren't they more popular?
-*gasp* Alaska! They moved from Alaska! Explains how pale their faces are, though.
-BLACK EYES OF DEEEEEEEEATH also wow that's a shockingly cliche way for the two to meet.
-More bible references! I'm starting to notice a patt - pffthahahha i can't even finish that
-Edward doesn't date, is shockingly beautiful, and normally is very calm. Gee, I wonder if he's a Stu or not.
-Wait wait wait. Gym isn't mandatory in Phoenix for all four years of high school? ...lolTwilight count: 6
-And that's the first chapter. Plot: Girl moves to small town, notices beautiful boy, beautiful boy immediately tries to get away from her. Nothing we haven't seen before. DANG IT EDWARD WHY AREN'T YOU A VAMPIRE YET.