Introducing Detective Oswald

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JasonBond2002
Posts: 11
Joined: Mon Mar 11, 2019 10:35 pm
Gender: Male
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Introducing Detective Oswald

Post by JasonBond2002 »

[ I] Detective Oswald ●●○

https://aaonline.fr/player.php?trial_id=112581
https://aaonline.fr/player.php?trial_id=118793

Detective Oswald is among the best private detectives in the country. No one has ever been able to overpass him. Follow him as he resolves a few cases in his career.
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SuperAj3
Posts: 1309
Joined: Wed Sep 01, 2010 11:19 am
Spoken languages: English, 日本語(少しだけ)
Location: Legal Land

Re: Introducing Detective Oswald

Post by SuperAj3 »

Hi! I'm playing your case's first part now.
Spoiler : stream of consciousness :
On the story:
- Interesting set up - a detective seeking revenge for the guy that forced him to wear his mask.
- I do like the whole 'looking at yourself in the mirror' segment. That's a unique thing I've not seen in fan games yet.
- You have 4 talk options but it won't let you read them all before you move to the party.
- LMAO Felicia, I like her and Clovis' dynamic (maybe put a warning at the start of your case that there's going to be some frequent swearing in this)
- Felicia doesn't get added to your profiles, maybe that's something missing?
- I like the option to pick who to talk to at the party.
- LOL The "dirty cop" - and he pulls out a gun. Are those FenrirDarkWolf's sprites of Buddy? If they are, please give credit.
- Hehe, new characters are just appearing out of nowhere now. I guess it makes sense for a busy party.
- LOL the Marjorie kiss

Some little notes to improve:
- I think you need to proof read this more. You need spaces after your commas, but don't need spaces before question or exclamation marks. Also some spelling needs fixing up.
- The timing of your frames in the opening needs some testing as well, as some frames linger too long while others move too quickly to read.
- There's one little inconsistency where Oswald says he's had the mask for 7 years, but then doesn't know if water will damage it (he probably would know by now).
- Some text also goes beyond the standard 3 lines per text-box.
- you have some blank frames in between your scene transitions you might need to delete or add timers to them
- the pacing of your case doesn't feel consistent. I think things are happening too quickly and the topic of conversation changes a lot and it's hard to keep track of what's happening.
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Enthalpy
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Re: Introducing Detective Oswald

Post by Enthalpy »

I notice that you put out three different showcases, recently. Is there any particular case that you want reviews on, first?
[D]isordered speech is not so much injury to the lips that give it forth, as to the disproportion and incoherence of things in themselves, so negligently expressed. ~ Ben Jonson
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