[T] [CE] Gem Thieving Turnabout ●

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FenrirDarkWolf
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[T] [CE] Gem Thieving Turnabout ●

Post by FenrirDarkWolf »

And here we have FenrirDarkWolf's return to using AAO after a decade of not making any cases:

Gem Thieving Turnabout

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Play it here: http://www.aaonline.fr/player.php?trial_id=136159

Gem Thieving Turnabout was made for the "Looking Back" case competition, hosted by Super legenda and risefromtheashes.
The themes used for the case were:
1. They Shall Not Kill by Ana: A case where nobody dies.
2. Roulette Rules by enigma and Zeel1: (4. Brave New World (Write a case set in a world/universe that isn't the AA one))
3. Keeping It Simple by Southern Corn and cesar26100: Create a normal, not overly-complicated case.
Spoiler : Synopsis :
Qyx is on vacation with his friends in their winter cabin, but is suddenly thrust into a mystery of silly proportions when the gems that the dracons were going to eat as snacks have gone missing! Help him solve the mystery of the stolen gems, and maybe get caught in some fluffy feels along the way.
Spoiler : Walkthrough :
Present Evidence
-> Firewood

Talk to Enath Greenwing
-> What Happened?

Move
-> Hallway

Investigate the Hallway
-> Examine the footprints in the centre of the hallway

Move
-> Storage

Investigate the Storage
-> Examine the big box on the left
-> Examine the shelf above the box on the left
-> Examine the boxes in the centre
-> Examine the shelves on the right

Testimony: Why I Was Back There
-> Press Statement 1
-> Hit Yes
-> Present Footprints on new statement (Statement 4)

Talk to Jax
-> Your Whereabouts
-> The Gems
-> Present Footprints

Present Evidence
-> Rehk's Account or Rehk's Profile

Testimony: In the Storage
-> Press All Statements

Testimony: Hidden Gems
-> Press Statement 3
-> Examine the light green thing on the left side of the deck

Move
-> Hallway

Move
-> Main Room

Move
-> Stairwell

Move
-> Main Room

Talk to Enath and Rehk
-> Mox, Again?

Move
-> Entry Room

Talk to Mox
-> What You've Been Up To

Present Evidence
-> Grak's Profile

Present Evidence
-> Present Vomit

Choose
-> "...proves that you were out in the back deck."
(Choosing option two doesn't lead to a loss of points)

Present Evidence
-> Present Footprints or Species Lorebook

Present Evidence
-> Present the one you didn't before (Footprints or Species Lorebook)
(If you get it wrong here, you'll have to present both again)

Present Evidence
-> Present Firewood, Species Lorebook, and Rehk's Account
(If you get any of them wrong, you'll have to present all three again)

Present Evidence
-> Present Map of the Cabin

Present Evidence
-> Qyx's Profile
Spoiler : Credits :
If you enjoyed the world and work presented here, then you should check out the works it's based off of!

This game is based off of the fanfiction "The Fifth Alignment" which is, in turn, based on the game "The Tenth Line."

"The Tenth Line" is "a console-style RPG featuring a colorful cast of characters, unique battle and level-up systems, quick 2D platforming action, and an original, fantastical story about friendship, faith, and finding your place in the world" created by Sungazer Software.

Check out the game on Steam:
https://store.steampowered.com/app/5759 ... enth_Line/

Check out Sungazer Software/SpaceLizard:
https://www.sungazersoftware.com/
https://twitter.com/sungazersoft
spacelizard.dev

The characters in this particular case were created and drawn by DreAmCatcher. He wrote the story of "The Fifth Alignment" and helped me with this particular project by editing text and dialogue.

Follow him on Twitter here:
https://twitter.com/DreAmCatchrArts

You can read "The Fifth Alignment" here:
https://archiveofourown.org/works/27974 ... s/68515328
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Re: [T] [CE] Gem Thieving Turnabout ●

Post by SuperAj3 »

Playing this now!
Spoiler : SoC :
Ooh PLvAA music! And haha the room used here was used in Conflict of Interest and now I can't unthink of this being Bad Player's house
Wait a dragon needs firewood? He can't just breathe it a little? /j XD Let me check that species lorebook...
The art for this looks really good!
Nice work with flavour text! (I've been playing a lot more cases here and people usually ignore the "Examine" prompts when the game first guides you to talk)
"Care to learn how I got these scars?" Fyx is the Joker? LOL
There are sometimes blank frames that could've used a pause rather than a second click.
I do find all the fine tuning of characters moving in and out of the scene very well done!
Slight grammatical error when Enath says "Oh please, it's not weirdest thing I've seen him taste."
but LMAO he straight up tasted the vomit
I got a little confused when confronting Mox what evidence I had to present. I think this part might've needed some more dialogue inbetween to help explain what was needed.
Aww that ending
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Re: [T] [CE] Gem Thieving Turnabout ●

Post by FenrirDarkWolf »

SuperAj3 wrote: Sun Jan 10, 2021 4:03 am Playing this now!
Spoiler : SoC :
Ooh PLvAA music! And haha the room used here was used in Conflict of Interest and now I can't unthink of this being Bad Player's house
Wait a dragon needs firewood? He can't just breathe it a little? /j XD Let me check that species lorebook...
The art for this looks really good!
Nice work with flavour text! (I've been playing a lot more cases here and people usually ignore the "Examine" prompts when the game first guides you to talk)
"Care to learn how I got these scars?" Fyx is the Joker? LOL
There are sometimes blank frames that could've used a pause rather than a second click.
I do find all the fine tuning of characters moving in and out of the scene very well done!
Slight grammatical error when Enath says "Oh please, it's not weirdest thing I've seen him taste."
but LMAO he straight up tasted the vomit
I got a little confused when confronting Mox what evidence I had to present. I think this part might've needed some more dialogue inbetween to help explain what was needed.
Aww that ending
Spoiler : :
Yes! I figured PLvAA music would fit with the setting. AND I REALISED THAT WHEN I SAW IT LOL
He's not a fire dracon after all lmao
DreAm is a great artist, you should check him out!!!
I really wanted to add MORE flavour text, but I had to cut some out for the sake of time.
LOL, we really do live in a society
Yeah, I noticed that in testing, but I was kinda unsure how to get rid of some of them all
GOD that took FOREVER to do. This is my first time working in both v6 and AAI style, and oh my GOD was it a process to learn.
Yeah, I figured there'd still be some little errors.
Yes, Fyx does NOT care lmao
Oof, I was hoping the final confrontation wouldn't be too confusing. If I go back to do some fixing, I might do that
yeeee sweet fluffy times
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Re: [T] [CE] Gem Thieving Turnabout ●

Post by risefromtheashes »

FenrirDarkWolf wrote: Sun Jan 10, 2021 10:39 pm yeeee sweet fluffy times
WE WUV DA SWEET FWUFFY TIMES <3
The Mindcastle System
(Don't know what a system is? Play 6-4, and take a look here.)
----------
OUR CASES:
- Athena Cykes ~ Locks on the Heart (synopsis)
- May Your Memory Be a Blessing
- A Little Piece of Healing
- The Killer Turnabout (~70% complete!)
- I guess we made the Looking Back case comp ceremony with Super legenda, but that's not an actual case

----------
Check out our music & art thread here!
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Re: [T] [CE] Gem Thieving Turnabout ●

Post by Enthalpy »

I played this game while I was testing an upcoming AAO change, so I figured I'd leave my thoughts.
Spoiler : :
Gem Thieving doesn't follow the template of an Ace Attorney case. We're not defending anybody in court, and we're not even dealing with humans. Normally, the custom art requirements would doom a project like this from the start, but that isn't the case here. The custom sprites aren't just serviceable, but very good! The backgrounds and choices of AA tracks are good as well, and the techncial presentation aspects are well-attended to, aside from some nitpicking that I'd save for a QA review.

Unfortunately, there are some writing choices that undercut what the game is trying to be instead. I can give line-by-line examples, but I'll keep it short.
  • I hadn't even heard of "The Tenth Line" before playing this case. The Species Lorebook is an effort to get readers like me up-to-speed on the lore of the world, but we are given a great deal of information and told to read all of it without a sense of what parts are important and why. I suggest keeping that as a reference book, but not required reading. Anything required, introduce in the story itself when it arises.
  • The story often introduces characters and plot points but often doesn't give the player context to understand its significance. This is made even more disorienting by introducing these so rapidly. For example, Enath accuses Qyx of stealing the gems, Qyx defends himself, Enath enters and berates Qyx for suspecting us, we have a brief discussion, go off to investigate, discuss footprint evidence, and then Enath runs off again. This doesn't give us time to understand the significance of the gems (is this like "who stole the cookies from the cookie jar"? why do the characters care?), who these characters are, or why the footprints are important evidence. For matters of fact that aren't clear, go back and provide more context. For matters of characterization, remember that most of the AAO audience isn't familiar with this series, and you need to make the players care about them. At the time you introduce them, make sure that their characterization (especially as they differ from previous characters) is on display, and show how they interact with others and deal with the gem situation. This is even more important in a case as "fluffy" as this, where there isn't as much direct tension. Right now, I couldn't say what the main character cares about.
  • Many of the contradictions/presents aren't clearly contradictory and seem only tangentially relevant. Example: How does Qyx having firewood prove that he didn't sneak away for a few minutes to get the gems? How does Fyx saying he was at the storage hour before the footprints were left prove his innocence?
    This logic made it very easy for me to only half-pay attention to this case. This backfired at the end of the game, when the evidence presents suddenly become much more complicated. Might I suggest tightening the logic and moving some of the more difficult presents earlier up in the case? This also gives the player a sense of progress in the investigation, which isn't there now.
Additionally, due to ongoing issues with recovering account passwords, I'm posting a message on behalf of Ferdie until this can get sorted:

FerdieLance: Enth asked me to take a look at this case and see what I thought. I agree with the judges that the presentation is quite solid. That said, I'd like to discuss a major spoiler about the ending, and ways it could potentially be improved.
Spoiler : Ending :
This is the only time I've ever seen a fancase address what would probably be diagnosed as disordered eating behavior. On the one hand, the case takes a compassionate approach - the stress-eating is a manifestation of a deeper sense of social insecurity. But the resolution is quite abrupt. Rather than establish Mox's outsider status (or the main character's outsider status) by showing us more earlier, the game just goes for a final confession. Mox immediately declares his psychological reasons for eating the gems simply because he was asked why; there's no sense that anyone has to struggle to understand it. And rather than talk about the future and things that could be done to help Mox deal with binge-eating, the group treats friendship and acceptance as sufficient in and of themselves to resolve this.
I think the ending's emotional weight could be heightened by giving us more insight into the main character's struggle to fit in earlier, and by making Mox's struggle resolve less cleanly and simply. Maybe they all need to talk about whether keeping large quantities of snacks in a place Mox has easy access to is a good idea - not because they don't trust Mox, but because Mox might not actually want that. Maybe they could propose distributing the gems on arrival to dracons so they don't just sit around. Being supportive to someone who struggles with binge-eating requires acceptance, but acceptance is just the first step, and the ending would be more satisfying if other steps were addressed to help Mox.
[D]isordered speech is not so much injury to the lips that give it forth, as to the disproportion and incoherence of things in themselves, so negligently expressed. ~ Ben Jonson
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Re: [T] [CE] Gem Thieving Turnabout ●

Post by FenrirDarkWolf »

Thank you both for your reviews!!!
I'll keep it in mind. I'm unsure how much I want to change the case at the moment because just writing and working on this case really burnt me out, but if I come back to this case, I'll be sure to keep everything in mind to make it better.
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