Short and Sweet

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Blizdi
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Re: Short and Sweet

Post by Blizdi »

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Re: Short and Sweet

Post by Ferdielance »

For the sake of transparency, Enthalpy and I would like to explain our process for rating and ranking cases. As required by comp rules, each case must be evaluated in "at least five" categories.

We gave very few restrictions for this comp. As noted in the intro post for the competition, cases had to be "at or under 4,000 frames," and should "tell a complete story" and "not waste frames." These restrictions give us two of our judging categories: completeness (Does the case tell a complete, satisfying story with a beginning, middle, and end?) and tightness/efficiency (Does the case waste frames, or does every frame serve a purpose - establishing character/atmosphere, advancing the plot, etc?). The other three judging categories are standard ones: characterization/dialogue, gameplay/puzzles, presentation.

Not every category is weighted equally for every case. Some cases are not puzzle-focused. For those, character development is more important. Other cases are pure puzzle-boxes. In those cases, puzzles are naturally given more weight in the case's final ranking.

Scoring:

Enthalpy and I play the cases on our own, taking notes as we go. We discuss them in chat to make sure we haven't missed major details and understand them fully. We write up reviews, and assign each case a score from 1 to 100. The final ranking is based on the sum of the ranking given to each case. For example, if I gave a case 50 and Enthalpy gave it 75, its final score would be 125/200. Although we will share detailed reviews of the cases, these final scores will not be shared unless the author requests a private PM with detailed scoring. If a case ranks low, we do not want to discourage future entrants by publicizing a low score! Only rankings will be shared.

Scoring scale:
100: Unachievably good. Nothing gets 100, ever.
90 - 99: Excellent.
80 - 89: Good.
70 - 79: Solid enough. Not going to stand out in comp history, but worth playing.
60 - 69: A bit weak.
50 - 59: Decidedly weak, flawed, needs much reworking.
40 - 49: Possibly unsalvageable.
30 - 39: One step above a troll entry.
0 - 29: Troll entry.
Unfinished cases may receive less detailed public reviews, as they are not finished products and thus should not undergo the same degree of public scrutiny. Instead, private PMs with suggestions will be sent to their authors.

How points from 1 - 100 are assigned to a case are at the discretion of the individual judge. In my case, I assign scores for each grading category, then weight them if necessary for a given case, add them up, and make that the score. I will also make Stream Of Consciousness notes available by PM to authors on request, but not to the public, as my comments may ramble or show other qualities that I'd rather not have in an official judging post.

Any questions?
"A slow sort of country!" said the Queen. "Now, here, you see, it takes all the running you can do, to keep in the same place. If you want to get somewhere else, you must run at least twice as fast as that!"
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Re: Short and Sweet

Post by Bad Player »

Ferdielance wrote:Any questions?
When are results coming out?
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Blizdi
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Re: Short and Sweet

Post by Blizdi »

That's an interesting way to judge a case. I don't believe I've seen one judged QUITE like that, I may be mistaken, though.

Good luck to the 6 who entered! I, personally, don't have a favorite, so consider me unbiased.

I want Zeel to win
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Re: Short and Sweet

Post by Bad Player »

Ferdielance wrote:Any questions?
How much weight do you give to your secret pigeon category that you conveniently neglected to mention?
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Re: Short and Sweet

Post by Reverie »

Ferdielance wrote:
If you would like more structure...

* Pigeons.
I'd say he was pretty upfront with this requirement.
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Re: Short and Sweet

Post by Blizdi »

Bad Player wrote:
Ferdielance wrote:Any questions?
How much weight do you give to your secret pigeon category that you conveniently neglected to mention?
Ferdie is secretly Mike Tyson, so any pigeon entries get 1st place.
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Re: Short and Sweet

Post by Ferdielance »

Enth has given me permission to start posting my reviews. I'm going to keep them relatively low in spoilers, so they should be something people can read without having played the cases first! I will spoil things that become apparent quickly, of course; I'm going to adhere to the standards of a reasonably polite movie review in deciding what to spoil or not spoil.

(Enth's reviews may be more spoilery, however.)

And the random number generator says the first review to post is...
Spoiler : A Disappearing Turnabout, by clcman :
A Disappearing Turnabout is a promising but unfinished case. And by "unfinished," I mean "there aren't any puzzles yet and the investigation isn't done; it's 700 frames long." For that reason, I'll be keeping this review relatively short, and can send an SOC to clcman on request.

Does ADT tell a story with a beginning, a middle, and an end?

Well, there's most of a beginning. We don't even get to the murder, assuming one happens, but we do have one scene where we examine things, and an interrogation. But this isn't really a complete game at all.

Does ADT use frames effectively?

Yes, it does. I don't feel as if time is being wasted, the banter is solid, and it's well-paced, with revelations dispensed steadily while it lasts. There are only 700 frames, but those frames are used well!

Is the character-writing solid?

Definitely. The biggest strength of ADT is the canon-feel of a lot of the characterizations. Trucy seems a bit older than 13 here, but she's always been kind of precocious. Phoenix, Ema, and the OCs are good, too.

Gameplay/Puzzles?

None to speak of yet, but nothing problematic! One "examine" is a little unclued.

Presentation?

This cases uses prebuilt assets, by and large, and is in the old-school style of early AAO cases where you just used existing sprites for your OCs. But they're well-deployed, and the game does its best to deal with the strangeness of a non-Edgeworth person with Edgeworth's sprite.

Overall:

It would be nice to see this finished! It's not going to win the comp, for obvious reasons, but I'd like to play more of it.
And the second review to be posted is...
Spoiler : Turnabout Truth, by DragonTrainer :
True to the spirit of the comp, Turnabout Truth doesn't try to cram too much into one case. It's a tutorial case, and as such, it introduces a lawyer, starts easy, and ends only slightly less easy. Naturally, "challenging puzzle design" isn't really going to be a major criterion for judging, but "character development" and "atmosphere" will matter more!

Does Turnabout Truth tell a full story with a beginning, middle, and end?

Turnabout Truth is clearly an introductory case for a new OC defense attorney, and thus leaves a few loose ends dangling. I didn't get the sense I'd played something that was meant to stand entirely alone, but rather that the protagonist's concerns about her boss were going to kick off a bigger, deeper arc.

At the same time, the case does relate the full story of one case, regardless of the openness of the conclusion, and it hits the standard Ace Attorney dramatic beats competently. No time is wasted on an intro sequence here, but the lobby and first moments of court introduce attorney Astrea Childe and the stakes. As the case progresses, the detective shows emotional involvement in the outcome and has a small, but satisfactory, "mini character arc," and the climax is not only present, but genuinely climactic, throwing an ethical dilemma at the player. After the climax, the falling action follows AA formula.

The story that's told is somewhat canon-flavored, which is not at all a bad thing, and it has a beginning, a middle, and (sort of) an end. Good.

Does Turnabout Truth use frames efficiently?

On the larger scale, everything in TT has a purpose! Each cross-examination sets up some later revelation, and none are wasted. Some pieces of evidence come up repeatedly, which is excellent. To save time, the introductory pressing of the detective is omitted entirely. (Since the defense has the right to examine, this probably should have been explicitly addressed.) After that point, every contradiction both is explained and exists for a reason, though some are admittedly quite similar to contradictions and situations in the first Ace Attorney game. A few of the detective mistakes stretch credibility, but that's the norm for AA cases.

On the frame-by-frame level, though, there's some wastage, but not much. A few jokes drag a bit, a few frames don't hit the dramatic point they wanted to, but this is pretty tightly written all around!

Are the characters developed in engaging way through well-written dialogue?

In this comp, it's important to use small, well-chosen details to make a character memorable. On this score, Turnabout Truth partly succeeds. A tutorial case must define the player-character's personality sharply, in bold strokes. Unlike most AA defense OC's, Astrea is low-key, drowsy, and a bit inactive, at least at first.

While the early-game Astrea had some clear personality, with a quirk of falling asleep, a phlegmatic willingness to let prosecution claims stand unchallenged, and none of the BLAZING ENTHUSIASM of most AA lawyers, her later characterization felt less novel to me. There was a neat, effective sprite trick, though. DragonTrainer also deserves credit for making an OC defense lawyer sprite that no fewer than three separate comp entries ended up using. This is AstreaComp 2014/15.

I do think I'd like to play another case with Astrea, especially in her more understated mode, provided the payoff of the "ethical conflicts" plot thread were compelling.

Other characters are a little less memorable. The villain is pure boilerplate, similar to two canon villains in design and personality. The detective has some character development, so she's more interesting than some, and her relationship with the defendant is made plot-relevant and, more importantly, gives us some reason to care about the defendant. The defendant herself isn't that interesting on her own, nor do I get much sense of the victim's character. Still, these characters do what they need to, and they kept me engaged.

How are the puzzles and gameplay elements?

The puzzles are fair, easy, and derivative of puzzles in the AA games. I am not emphasizing them in this review, only noting that they serve the plot well enough and are generally presented sanely. In addition, at several points the game catches reasonable alternative evidence presentations without penalizing the player, a very nice touch!

Did the presentation add much to the gameplay and storytelling?

TT is well-presented! There are no fancy tricks of presentation here, but the comp doesn't call for those. Grammar seems solid, I encountered no bugs, music was reasonably chosen, if minimal, and sprites were well-used - especially Astrea's, which added a LOT to her characterization.

By the standards of a "Short and Sweet" comp where simplicity is valued over showiness, this is quite good enough!

Overall:

After playing TT, I had the nagging sense I'd seen everything in it before. It's not a problem to make a case that follows the look and feel of the canonical cases, but the plot points also seemed to be taken from prior AA cases. There's an option in the ending that mirrors a scene in AA1-2 in surprising detail. Further fussing with clocks and gifts adds to the "AA1-1 + AA1-2" vibe here. As a result, the final puzzle was the first time I felt fully invested in the case and not like I was replaying earlier AA cases.

At the same time, Turnabout Truth nails down the premise of the comp: make it short, and make it sweet. I think it's safe to say this is a solid entry, and I'm glad I played it.
"A slow sort of country!" said the Queen. "Now, here, you see, it takes all the running you can do, to keep in the same place. If you want to get somewhere else, you must run at least twice as fast as that!"
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Re: Short and Sweet

Post by Zeel1™ »

I forgot how nervous I always get around this point... ^^'
Turnabout Ghost - 1400 Frames
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Re: Short and Sweet

Post by Blizdi »

It's the final countdown!
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Re: Short and Sweet

Post by Ferdielance »

More reviews.
Spoiler : Tap's Turnabout Remembrances :
Turnabout Remembrances is a memory test, but not in the way that Two Sides of the Same Turnabout is. It's a string of references and parodies that stretch back to trials from years ago on AAO, and, in one case, an abortive RP thread I made 6 years ago, so long ago that I did not catch the reference at first, and had to double-check it! Of course, Tap's own work is drawn on, and if you haven't played them, be warned that there are spoilers for one of his cases.

On with the review!

Does TR tell a story with a beginning, middle, and end?

TR doesn't have much of an ending, and only sort of a disconnected beginning, but the middle is fun enough! I wouldn't call it a coherent story, for the most part, though the trial itself does make a kind of sense once you follow along. It's not just a pile of judge bribery - there's a plot and some tension - but story definitely wasn't the first priority here.

I feel conflicted about this. On the one hand, I'm all for good comedy trials, and PoB was hardly a model of pointed coherence. On the other hand, PoB was entered in a comp where time passing was the comp theme, encouraging shaggy dog stories... and this comp would have benefited from a tighter, more focused style of humor that worked with a well-paced story.

(I get the sense that the story was cut off early, and that hurt a little, too.)

Does TR work efficiently, without wasting frames?

Sometimes, I suspect that wordiness and frame-wasting were part of the joke - at least early on. The actual "meat" of the case is concise and pointed, with the contradictions and puzzles coming quickly. But the PoB-ish parody segments tended to be (probably deliberately) too wordy.

The phrase "shut up [character name]" pops up too often in my stream-of-consciousness notes for this.

Character development and writing - how was it?

Well, these are characters we know and love/hate already, and they were true to form. If you liked them when we saw them last, you'll like them now, and I definitely looked forward to some of them. Some could use a little more time on-screen. Another, the defendant, is less obnoxious than when she last appeared. The prosecutor's handled very well, though!

But the story doesn't really give most of the characters a chance to shine. I think this suffered from the lack of an equivalent to PoB's prologue, a place to build a little emotional attachment or raise the stakes before everything goes silly.

This case seemed to move in the opposite direction - goofy parody to half-serious, then silly, then again half-serious. That's less effective for laughter than keeping a straight face for a bit, then busting out the jokes. It also helps, of course, when telling jokes... to have something to say. Which I'm not sure is happening here.

I did laugh quite a bit, though! Especially when Tap implemented a certain way of handling legal objections.

How were the puzzles and gameplay

Simple, but carefully executed! In cases where there are many possible answers and some are wrong, Tap clearly went through a lot of trouble to explain WHY wrong answers are wrong and correct answers are correct. There's one puzzle that requests a dubious answer that turns out to be incorrect anyway, but other than that, it's good! I enjoyed the unique take on objections.

There's not too much here, but what's there is good, and that's well within comp theme.

Was the case well-presented?

Nothing too fancy, but solid and workable. Graphical references to other games exist (I can say no more without venturing into spoiler territory) and are executed neatly. The sprites used are well-chosen - of course, there wasn't much choice in some cases - and the grammar is good.

Overall:

This felt unfinished and in need of a bit of beta-testing to help streamline some of the jokes, but I enjoyed it! I feel as if the extent of judge in-jokery here is severe enough that, as currently written, this might be less fun for a more general audience. A lot of the time is spent on scenes that really don't go anywhere - not that PoB was guiltless in that regard - and that hurts when the comp theme is about concise punchiness.

I expect Enth will have a lot of trouble grading this, though.....
Spoiler : RoCo-X's A Deutsch Dilemma :
RoCo-X's A Deutsch Dilemma is a case with many truly original points. Instead of defending an accused murderer, you defend an accused evidence forger. The tone remains light-hearted, and even a lack of original sprites is handwaved away with jokes. I had fun with it, in spite of several issues, and my critique below should be considered in that light.

Did this case tell a complete story with a beginning, a middle, and an end?

Yes and no.

A Deutsch Dilemma was originally intended as an entry in a trial series, but since those are barred in AAO comps, RoCo-X made edits to turn it into an independent entry. Some signs of its origin remain, though.

The game begins with an original situation, as Phoenix Wright travels to Germany to participate in a law festival, but the stakes of the trial aren't established strongly. We aren't given enough cause to care about the defendant to propel us to the midgame. And in that midgame, evidence is presented, but the path to resolving the story ends abruptly.

At no point did I really feel anyone was fighting to win, and this was not simply a matter of puzzle difficulty. Because the dialogue didn't give any sense of tension or weight to the events, the solutions seemed to be handed to me without effort. In the end, the people involved didn't seem to have changed, grown, or even been in a serious conflict. There's no emotional heft to the story, and the jokes, which could have made it more entertaining, didn't strike true often enough to make up for this lack of substance.

So while the case technically has a beginning, middle, and end, it seems unpolished and incomplete, though promising and intriguing. I'd recommend a rewrite to address these issues and give it a more satisfying ending.

Did the case tell this story economically, without wasting frames, details, or time?

Many details given in A Deutsch Dilemma turn out to be of little relevance. This case sets some kind of record for the number of pieces of evidence it introduces that we never use ever. Perhaps it was originally intended to be longer, and puzzles that would have used that evidence were cut? I don't know.

In addition to this glut of evidence, even extra profiles are present that distract to no purpose. The author wisely credits the artist of an Athena Cykes profile picture... but Athena plays no obvious role in the game. In spite of the case's short length, many details still could have benefited from cutting.

Was the characterization convincing and entertaining?

Unfortunately, the canonical AA characters just didn't ring true here. Edgeworth is too petty, resorting to a cruel joke early on that was 100% out-of-character. There's no sign that he and Franziska have a long-standing rivalry and grew up together, and the case never deals with the obvious conflict of his prosecuting someone who thinks of him as a little brother. It's a lost opportunity, since bringing the tension between Edgeworth and his sister to the fore would make for an exciting case.

Phoenix, too, is unsatisfying. He doesn't seem to care much one way or another about the case, and Trucy's missing her bubbly, offbeat humor. The characters don't always misfire - some lines about the law festival work, and so does the judge - but they misfire enough to weaken the impact of what could have been a very funny, engaging trial.

Was the gameplay solid? Were the puzzles good?

The mass of red herrings hurts here, too, as does the lack of clarity about circumstances surrounding the crime. Some evidence descriptions don't entirely make sense. None of the puzzles are strictly unfair, but they are consistently quite easy. Adding more red herrings doesn't make them harder, and it doesn't make them more satisfying.

That said, there are no game-breakers, and nothing prevented me from enjoying what I saw on a basic level. As a way of of getting from the beginning to the story to the end of it, the puzzles are okay enough, even if the last set of prosecution questions feels incredibly rushed.

Was the presentation solid?

Unfortunately, there's a limit to how far the jokes about "looking young" and "flashlights that look like cameras" can save the problems of presentation.

While some of the jokes - the courtroom orchestra, etc - worked for me, the lack of custom sprites for some pieces of evidence stretched credibility too far. It's not too big a strain to find a small image of a flashlight and host it on an image server, and very preferable to saying that two flashlights both happen to resemble cameras.

Even the use of pre-existing resources involved some odd decisions. Music choices didn't always fit the action being shown, as the case rapidly cut back and forth between different orchestra tunes. The use of Franziska's crying sprites in the opening made her seem like a petulant teenager, even though she was stated to be considerably older in this case. In general, this needed work.

Overall:

The above criticisms feel harsh given that I had fun with this. There's an element of goofy, harmless fun to this case that doesn't at all come across when I try to make specific critiques, an atmosphere of good-natured joking. I want to see more cases by RoCo-X, and I'd like to see this one get a round of playtesting.

Speaking of which, if I recall correctly, no playtesters were credited here. My number one suggestion to the author would be that, in the future, all cases they release or submit to competitions should undergo a round or two of playtesting and suggestion-implementing. I believe that reflinement would polish away many of the faults of this case, and let its quirky originality shine through.
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Re: Short and Sweet

Post by clcman »

Ferdielance wrote:Enth has given me permission to start posting my reviews. I'm going to keep them relatively low in spoilers, so they should be something people can read without having played the cases first! I will spoil things that become apparent quickly, of course; I'm going to adhere to the standards of a reasonably polite movie review in deciding what to spoil or not spoil.

(Enth's reviews may be more spoilery, however.)

And the random number generator says the first review to post is...
Spoiler : A Disappearing Turnabout, by clcman :
A Disappearing Turnabout is a promising but unfinished case. And by "unfinished," I mean "there aren't any puzzles yet and the investigation isn't done; it's 700 frames long." For that reason, I'll be keeping this review relatively short, and can send an SOC to clcman on request.

Does ADT tell a story with a beginning, a middle, and an end?

Well, there's most of a beginning. We don't even get to the murder, assuming one happens, but we do have one scene where we examine things, and an interrogation. But this isn't really a complete game at all.

Does ADT use frames effectively?

Yes, it does. I don't feel as if time is being wasted, the banter is solid, and it's well-paced, with revelations dispensed steadily while it lasts. There are only 700 frames, but those frames are used well!

Is the character-writing solid?

Definitely. The biggest strength of ADT is the canon-feel of a lot of the characterizations. Trucy seems a bit older than 13 here, but she's always been kind of precocious. Phoenix, Ema, and the OCs are good, too.

Gameplay/Puzzles?

None to speak of yet, but nothing problematic! One "examine" is a little unclued.

Presentation?

This cases uses prebuilt assets, by and large, and is in the old-school style of early AAO cases where you just used existing sprites for your OCs. But they're well-deployed, and the game does its best to deal with the strangeness of a non-Edgeworth person with Edgeworth's sprite.

Overall:

It would be nice to see this finished! It's not going to win the comp, for obvious reasons, but I'd like to play more of it.
Well, that was about as good as I was hoping for. I really DO plan on finishing this case, and I'm glad that everything that was actually made was satisfactory. And the stream-of-consciousness notes would be very helpful. Thanks!
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Re: Short and Sweet

Post by Enthalpy »

And now for the start of your other judge's reviews. These will tend to have more spoilers, though I'll tend to avoid them.

clcman's A Disappearing Turnabout
Spoiler : :
One Sentence Summary

This case, sadly, doesn’t have enough content to make a proper review of it.

Does it tell a complete story?

This one feels still in the beginning stages.

Is it economical with frame use and pacing?

There’s no complete and flagrant waste (though it’s hard to tell in its unfinished state), but some jokes just go on too long or miss the mark completely, usually those involving repetition. Those could stand to be cut. Pacing is good!

Characters/Story

The story hasn’t formed clearly enough for me to judge. As for characters, it hits a lot of pieces right, canon characters especially, but the original characters could be stronger, and Phoenix feels vaguely wrong in a key scene - accepting the case in the first place. I can’t put words to it, but this is a problem that I’d love to look more deeply at if you’d like.


Gameplay/Puzzles

… What gameplay/puzzles?

Presentation

The presentation is dictated by the complete lack of custom assets. The game does its best with them, but if possible, I’d recommend using stock OC sprites or custom backgrounds that are more fitting for what you have in mind.

Overall

As-is, the game is dictated by the fact that it’s nowhere close to complete. I’d love to play more of if it when it’s finished, but until then…
DragonTrainer's Turnabout Truth
Spoiler : :
One Sentence Summary

DragonTrainer gives us a case with surprisingly solid mechanics, even before factoring for this being DT’s first case and made in about a week, but it needs a bit more work to become truly engaging.


Does it tell a complete story?

For the most part, yes! The one caveat here is that this case opens up a new conflict between Astrea Childe and Kristoph Gavin, which is nowhere close to resolved by the end of this. It’s a large, but single, loose end.

Is it economical with frame use and pacing?

Any complaints I have here would be simply pedantic. This case passes!

Characters/Story

This entry has nice narrative touches, but clearly isn’t narratively focused. While the defendant in this case is actually a friend of ours, and there are clear mentions of Astrea and Mana spending time together, most characters feel generic. The case also feels low on tension (the final present accepted), which combine to make the case’s atmosphere hard to find. This may be personal preference.

That said, DragonTrainer’s characters have some moments to shine. The case detective is given a meaningful mini-arc that works well, but lacks poignancy due to us not having seen Roxanne and Mana outside the case. Astrea’s relative passivity also helps her characterization immensely, though I still struggle to come up with an idea of who she is. I think adding some inner monologue here would help immensely. Oh, and of course, there’s that final piece of evidence…

All in all, however, the characterization is incredible for a first-case.


Gameplay/Puzzles

As Ferdielance notes, almost everything here is fairly easy, and derived from the first two cases. That said, they work surprisingly well and avoid most of the errors common to games with a trial segment. The final in-trial present is something that the player can’t logically get from what they have to work with, and the timing of Gatewater Land should be clearer. Presentation on contradictions also feels vaguely off. I can’t place the exact problem, but this problem interests me enough that I”ll be willing to take a look at it later upon request.

That I can distill my problems here into a paragraph is a testament to just how solid the gameplay in this game is. Everything is fair, and startlingly well-designed! No evidence clutter! Everything makes sense in hindsight! All the testimonies have a point! We even have repeat use of evidence! Well done here!


Presentation

This entry sticks to the Ace Attorney feel, so presentation is never anything as fancy as you’d see in a case by, say, DWaM. Custom sprites improve the case significantly, and for the most part, there are no hitches. Some commas are missing, some double spaces showed up when I played this on v6, and I’d have liked less caps lock, but those are all really minor.

Overall

This isn’t a real knockout case, more a solid piece, but this is a first case made in a week. By those standards, this is fantastic! The theme relevance doesn’t hurt either. While this piece could be made more engaging, I definitely hope to see more from DragonTrainer.
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Re: Short and Sweet

Post by Tap »

Ferdielance wrote:More reviews.
Just wanted to take the opportunity to respond to your review since I wanted to clarify some points, although you definitely figured out "where" I was going with the case.
Spoiler : Tap's Turnabout Remembrances :
It's a funny thing, really. TR was originally a much more serious trial, or at least the original version was. When I first withdrew, I'd actually completed that trial, although it hadn't gone in the direction I started out with. The crime was clunky, unimaginative, dull, terrible, and so forth... To "spoil" things slightly, TR was essentially 'The Downfall of Phoenix Wright'. It was supposed to explore what I felt Wright's character should have been like, after all that character development he went through in AJ. TR was supposed to be kind of an encapsulation of the entire story of Phoenix Wright. He's a fighter, and that instinct led him to become a legendary defence attorney. But he doesn't really know when to give up, and he was pretty cocky against Klavier, which led to his first "downfall", but more importantly, put him on the path of revenge. Of course, when he finally left that path, he couldn't really go back to what life was like before -- he was a changed man. This led into the case, which was really a MacGuffin, to explore how far Wright has come and fallen, with "Character X", as a twisted personification of his conscience. But I hated how it all turned out, so I withdrew and deleted the trial. I kept a back-up, although it was an older version which was only 3/4 finished...

"TR" only exists because Enth posted on the 4th. I saw that post, went screw it, and decided to make an epic come back. I might be a rubbish case writer, and pretty unsuccessful with some of my own projects, but I wanted to achieve something, even if it didn't make a lot of sense. So entering this comp to "win" was never really my goal... I just wanted to see if I could actually design and write a trial, and I did. Of course, I came back in late, not to mention that I started from scratch, really. I took those "Character X" scenes (about 200 frames in total), 'designed' a new crime, and threw character after character in there... It turned very quickly into something else entirely, ha ha! It was unintentional judge bribery at first, though! I just couldn't resist throwing in this and that after I abandoned all attempts at making it "serious"...

As for that reference.... Don't you remember me....? Ha ha, I'm just messing with you! I found that RP after I went looking for the original post of your 'mugshot sprite adaptation tutorial'... Came across Turnabout Vipers in the process, and, well... I couldn't resist throwing it in!
This felt unfinished and in need of a bit of beta-testing to help streamline some of the jokes, but I enjoyed it! I feel as if the extent of judge in-jokery here is severe enough that, as currently written, this might be less fun for a more general audience. A lot of the time is spent on scenes that really don't go anywhere - not that PoB was guiltless in that regard - and that hurts when the comp theme is about concise punchiness.
I'd have loved some beta-testing, but I ran out of time... It might be a case less fun for a more general audience, but TR is more a fun trial that I can look at and go, 'hey, I actually managed to write something that doesn't make me cringe in total embarrassment'! I'm never going to be able to write a trial this kind of length again, so even though it doesn't make a lot of sense, I'm happy with the result. I'm glad it was enjoyable, though. That's all the satisfaction I need. Here's hoping Enth also enjoyed it, too! :)
Be warned that there are spoilers for one of his cases.
Not really...? I tried to keep the spoilers out, so other than character experiences and homages, I don't think it quite gives away anything...? Maybe I overlooked something.
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Ferdielance
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Re: Short and Sweet

Post by Ferdielance »

My last reviews!
Spoiler : Spyromed's Grave of the Turnabout :
Grave of the Turnabout is an ambitious unfinished trial by Spyromed. He experiments with many unusual devices here - multiple witnesses appearing in a single testimony, an unusual presentation technique, and a stepwise (and highly confusing) diagram of a key piece of evidence.

Does GOTT tell a complete story with a beginning, middle, and end?

As an unfinished case, GOTT doesn't tell a complete story. It meanders, requiring the player to make strange moves. The player may have figured out what I believe to be a major part of the actual crime, only to be diverted onto confusing side-avenues of argument. The opening is strong, if a little long, but the story just doesn't seem to go anywhere just yet.

Does GOTT use frames effectively?

When we suggested that entrants "keep it simple" and that they make each frame count, we didn't expect to get a case with testimonies this huge. The first testimony contains about a dozen statements, which fill the CR with 14 pieces of evidence. The second is ALSO huge, and requires massive pressing, and simply does not do much good for the plot - a detailed elaboration of every single movement of every character. One large and frustrating segment goes basically nowhere.

Fatal bugs twice made me replay major stretches of the game, making the length of the opening portions of the case and trial even more tedious. I think the use of multiple witnesses in one testimony was intended to compress the case and make it shorter, but it feels longer.

Does GOTT have good character development? Is the dialogue well-written?

Quite solid! GOTT takes its time to develop its characters, and with the exception of some forced clue mentions ("DID I MENTION THE WINDOW JAMS"), the dialogue clicks! I get the sense that these characters have a shared history, and that they know each other's quirks. They bounce off each other with jabs and retorts, and even if some are a little two-dimensional, they're all entertaining. These people need a tighter story to inhabit, but they, themselves, are worth spending time with.

What about puzzle design and gameplay?

The puzzles are often opaque and forced. One seems to defy physical reality. Even after arguing with Enthalpy for a while about a key diagram, we couldn't agree on what the object in question looked like; color-coding would help a lot. Others require the player to make leaps of logic in service of answers that a savvy reader will know are probably wrong anyway. One involves a very misleading description paired with a free-entry text prompt. Another involves filling "holes" in an argument that doesn't make much sense in the first place.

Guesswork is the rule of the day.

While the ambition is appreciated on some level, "this is about making a good case, not an epic one" should have served as a caution against this sort of thing.

How's the presentation?

Okay, presentation is solid but incomplete. Character sprites are well-chosen, but music and other details obviously haven't been added. The title screen is pixelated as well. Promising, but unfinished.

Overall:

This is an unfinished case, and needs more beta testing. I do want to see it finished, but large chunks require cutting and rewriting. Evidence should be given more naturally, and the point should be gotten to sooner.

I do think the setup for the crime itself is intriguing, and the character work is great! I'm willing to help you develop this a bit more if you like.
Spoiler : DWaMnigma's The Assistant's Turnabout :
The Assistant's Turnabout, Enigma and DWaM's collaborative entry, is a case that could be an AU, but isn't necessarily one. It evokes the "half-comic, half-melodramatic" feel of the classic Ace Attorney cases in spite of a shocking premise, and is never overwhelmed by its own darkness. This is a punchy, effective case, and a solid contender.

Does The Assistant's Turnabout tell a full story?

Does it ever! The crime isn't overcomplicated, but it's tied fully and neatly into the case's backstory. There's an opening that creates tension and dread, a midgame that builds up confusion and a sense of the general wrongness of the situation, and a conclusion that mostly resolves the tension, while still leaving some lingering unease. Some of the characters' actions are a contrived, psychological stretches of the kind we've learned to expect from AAO fancases - people do crazier things for the sake of their goals than one would really expect. But the stretch here is no worse than the stretches we see in Apollo Justice canon, and the game acknowledges them.

There's nothing I can say here that wouldn't be a spoiler, save that this case executes a bizarre premise well. This is a full story and a worthwhile one, even if the ending has some pretty dark implications for one of the character's futures if you think about it a little.

Is the story told in an economical way, without wasting frames?

In general, yes! There are not too many testimonies, but each one seems to tighten the noose around the defendant's neck a little more. One contradiction is arguably wasted and not terribly important, but it does foreshadow a psychological detail. One or two jokes drag slightly. But all in all, the case tells its story without wasting time, and mostly it felt worthwhile.

Are the characters developed in an economical and engaging way?

The character development here is, for the most part, dead-on. The weary prosecutor who knows the situation is just not right, the defendant we've met in canon, a pink-haired defense attorney, and some quirky, likeable witnesses - all of these people click together and sell the story! We see how their perspectives change over time, and get a handle, for the most part, on their motivations. I'd want to see them again.

Puzzles and gameplay:

This case is pitched as a tutorial, almost, introducing a rookie attorney. As was the case with Turnabout Truth, the puzzles are not hard at all. In general, they're well-paced and well-pitched, though one of them could use a few alternate presents for the cases where players get ahead of the case's logic. It seemed fair throughout, and while there were no "AHA I HAVE SOLVED IT" moments, I still felt like I was doing something. Given that this was mostly a character-focused case, this was sufficient.

Presentation:

Rock-solid. While, true to the comp's theme, there are no crazy tricks here, the basics - sprite use, music use, timing, and (for the most part) grammar are all nailed down. There were a few grammatical lapses here and there, but nothing too painful. And fades and custom graphics were deployed to great effectiveness.

Overall:

This is exactly the kind of case I hoped to get out of this comp - a compact, effective story that hits its dramatic beats effectively and engagingly. An excellent showing by the enigma/DWaM team all around.
Spoiler : Zeel1's Turnabout Time Limit :
Zeel1's Turnabout Time Limit is as much a thriller as a mystery - the culprit is obvious from the start, but the trick is proving their guilt. As the time limit of the title ticks down, the witnesses deliver testimonies quickly and without filler - an excellent match to the theme of the comp.

Does TTL tell a story with a beginning, middle, and end?

By taking advantage of existing canon characters and using them well, TTL avoids the need to dwell too long on introductions. The story gets underway quickly and steams towards a conclusion. This is definitely a complete story, and one that is well-suited to the demands of the comp.

The details of the story itself aren't radically original, and some stretch credibility. It would have been nicer if the case spent a little more time getting us to care about the characters, and one witness's story doesn't have an "ending" - the case basically just forgets about them! But these are the risks of running a comp that focuses on brevity, so all in all, I enjoyed this.

Does TTL waste frames, or use every scene effectively?

By and large, TTL is economical with its frames and testimonies, though there are one or two repeated points. Not every testimony really builds towards trapping the killer, so the case isn't built with Swiss watch-precision, but with one exception, the testimonies keep the game moving forward. In addition, the "time limit" device justifies brevity! It would make no sense if the characters started rambling.

Are the dialogue and characterization entertaining and effective?

TTL handles most of the canon characters well to very well. The prosecutor is funny, and his theme song is hilariously well-chosen, and we get some lively prosecutor-detective banter, too!

The OCs are somewhat weaker. The villain isn't really consistent, and another OC witness starts out funny, but gets effectively abandoned by the case. More importantly, I don't get the sense that the writer thought about the situation from the point of view of these characters and had them act true to themselves. They act in ways that are convenient for the drama, but don't give me any sense that they're people.

There are some funny moments, all the same, and the dialogue was punchy enough to keep me interested!

How about the puzzles and gameplay?

The puzzles vary in quality. Some are quite solid, and others seem like arbitrary, slightly awkward obstacles. There are contradictions that aren't really contradictions, missed presents that should have counted, penalized presses that only make sense in hindsight, and other little sins against good case design. But it wasn't too frustrating to play, and many of the puzzles were genuinely fun.

Was the presentation good?

The presentation was smooth and clear. Music is well-deployed, cutscenes are slick, new images add something to the case, and witness sprites are chosen suitably! There are some cool animation effects in the intro, and this level of polish left me well-disposed to the case in general.

Overall:

Turnabout Time Limit is a competent case with some design flaws, but a solid "thriller" atmosphere and good pacing. While its puzzles and characterization have some definite flaws, TTL is a fun play, and is recommended. It will be even more recommended if the puzzles are tweaked a bit post-comp!
"A slow sort of country!" said the Queen. "Now, here, you see, it takes all the running you can do, to keep in the same place. If you want to get somewhere else, you must run at least twice as fast as that!"
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