Time Goes By...

Join in with competitions to make the best trials... with a twist!

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Bad Player
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Re: Time Goes By...

Post by Bad Player »

...wait

mahou SHOJOU?!

...

...

...

...
Spoiler : :
*slaps kwando*

shame
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Ferdielance
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Re: Time Goes By...

Post by Ferdielance »

Spoiler : Bravo. :
I salute kwando/NN for their devotion to the continuing project of messing with the judges' heads.
"A slow sort of country!" said the Queen. "Now, here, you see, it takes all the running you can do, to keep in the same place. If you want to get somewhere else, you must run at least twice as fast as that!"
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Re: Time Goes By...

Post by enigma »

Enthalpy wrote:Interesting review. Some of the images in the middle didn't load for me, but I'm pretty hyped for the rest of your reviews. (Unfortunately, I'm much less hyped for BondS because the Nanoha is a major turn-off for me. I'll probably still play/read the end product, though.) Out of curiosity, who's next on the queue?
I'm going to be playing Phantasmagoria of Betrayal by you and Ferdie, then Turnabout Higurashi by K1, then Gamer's and finally Sami's. (I'm playing the cases in submission order, basically.)
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Re: Time Goes By...

Post by Enthalpy »

Just to be clear, does K1 and their Turnabout Higurashi really exist?
[D]isordered speech is not so much injury to the lips that give it forth, as to the disproportion and incoherence of things in themselves, so negligently expressed. ~ Ben Jonson
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Re: Time Goes By...

Post by Bad Player »

Enthalpy wrote:Just to be clear, does K1 and their Turnabout Higurashi really exist?
K1 exists, uuu~

*slapped*
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Re: Time Goes By...

Post by enigma »

Here we have another lost soul within our theater...

Enigma Judges! Episode/Entry 2!
Spoiler : EnthalFerd's Entry MASSIVE SPOILERS INSIDE, YOU DINGUS! :
Oh, sweet. Ferdie and Enth's entry. Heh heh... I can't wait to play this before everyone e-

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Goddammit!
Enigma Plays: Phantasmagoria of Betrayal~!
Okay, so this time I'm going to be playing Phantasmagoria of Betrayal. From the start I know only two things about this case.
1.Good People Die
2.Monobadger (I have no idea what he does, though. Just that he...is.)

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Anyway, we start off with a preloader. Let's click yes.

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...........This music playing. Oh, EnthalFerd. You cards.

Anyway, we're greeted with a totally theme relevant loading screen that loads thematically, in total.

After that, I have the option to watch the intro. I chose yes.

I would have screenshotted stuff from the intro, but I'll basically sum it up instead. Every DWaM case intro ever. There. Done.

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Ooh~ Choices~!

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I asked the xat what I should call myself. As a result, my name is now Sir Ferdie of Hinamizawa.

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:shock: .........oh my god.

WITCHCRAFT! SORCERY! MY COMPUTER IS POSSESED! SERIOUSLY, WHAT IS THIS?! WHAT IS THIS!!!?

After...After that witchcraft, I'm asked whether I want to use mercy mode. Since, I am a complete and utter coward, I said "why not?" and went for it.

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Actually, I changed my mind! Good thing they had a special feature inputted for that.

...........................10 minutes of blowing later, I finally gave up on that.

Anyway, I turned tutorial prompts on and-

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...seriously? Really? Are you... Okay.

One lesson on how to use the arrow later, I'm onto my next choice.

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Ooh~ Looks like I can choose my melodrama levels. Well, nothing can beat friendship speech fifty, so let's go for Greek tragedy.

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And then this happens. Welp, can't say my curiosity isn't piqued.

So, we get a poem and- Wait. Hold on. What does that last line say again?

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...Welp. You hear it from them first, EnthalFerd confirmed for last place. GG WP.

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Anyway, we finally find out what exactly that tragedy choice button earlier did. And now it's on to the sh-

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Wait. What?

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WAIT WHAT?!

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wait. what?

Um... So, I guessed that was probably his first trial, and a quick google search tells me that that was in Courtroom Number 2 so... Let's try that.

HA! BOO-YAH! SUCK IT, LEGAL TEAM!

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wait. what? (I'm going to be saying this a lot, aren't I?)

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Anyway...um...I guess the game's starting now. And it's kinda scaring me. o_o

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Wait. WHAT IS THIS GAME?! WHAT IS GOING ON?!

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o_o um...because I picked greek tragedy mode? ;_;

So, uh...the skull talks for a bit and then...Well...

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THIS happens! Just WHAT am I playing?! To echo the words of DWaM, just how am I supposed to judge this?!

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Ooh~ Let's hope I get Pickles~! SPIN, SPIN, SPIN~!!!

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...oh god.

I still want that Pickle, though. So I should probably spin again...

Goddammit!

Okay! I'm just gonna spin it again!

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F***!

Okay, I'm just gonna keep spinning until I get that damn pickle!

Crap! CRAP! CRAP! CRAP! CRAP! CRAP! CRAP!

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Around 1 in a million! That's what are the odds! Okay, fine. The pigeons win. I'll just accept it.

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And now the game begins.

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So, it looks like I'm Phoenix Wright and I just ate a barbecue. Sounds nice. Especially since us aussies apparently have a constant obsession with throwing seafood at those.

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Dear EnthalFerd Inc.,
8 92.

Anyway, now it's time to guess Gumshoe's charade. We know the first word is Guilty and it's a song title. And the second word can be represented by Gummy giving Maggey a big bear hug. Hmm... I think I've got this one~!

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There we go. Let's see how that... Wait. This is before Klavier, isn't it... Oh crap. I've been messed with, haven't I?!

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Oh, phew. When it comes to EnthalFerd, I never really do know what to expect...

Anyway, the game winds down and we start to relax.

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Oho? A plan, huh?

So, I go ahead and talk to Edgeworth whose sending some specialists over. Who these specialists are and what they do, I have no idea.

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Thanks magic green text. How kind of you.

Anyhoo, the Edgeworth tells me a story of how one time, when he was a kid, he and Franziska were playing chess and she tossed a dinner roll at him and he tried to steal peas from her plate and then she stabbed him in the hand. ...yep. That's it.

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Anyway, we return to the plan and it seems Gumshoe's been put in charge of some kind of balloon thing.

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Oh~ How nice~ They're going to spell out a message~. Yay.

Anyway, next up I talk to Larry and check that I can trust him. Which leads to a flashback. I forgot to screenshot, but I was given the option to flashback about Godot. I chose yes.

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Yeah, Sasuk- I mean, Godot! You're such a friggin' jerk, man!

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I bet this has absolutely NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS GAME'S CHOICE SYSTEM~ NOPE~

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Well, more reminiscing couldn't hurt~ And this time it's about Glen Elg. That one...victim...guy...person...thing...

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I am a shadow. The true self. And, it is now that I remember case 3 of game 3. Let's see where this goes.

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And now it's time to think about Dahlia. Sounds fun~! Let's do it!

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And then this happens. Welp, it DOES say her name is ???, so I'm gonna go with that.

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Okay, then... Hmmm... I'm going to pick option 1.

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And now it's time to flash back, some more~! Into the wayback, Mr. Wrightbody~!

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...I'm just gonna leave this one here, and leave it to you guys to question.

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You know what? Edgeworth's a jerk. I'm gonna go ahead and resent it.

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Hey, picnics need love too!

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Hm... I don't know which one to pick....ah...hm...ah...............YES! I'll pick no!

And then I flashback to Godot again and he's like "what the hell, you just keep flashbacking! what is going on!" and it kinda reflects the truth and then I suddenly die a bit inside.

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OH GOD! THIS IS INCEPTION! WHAT HAVE I DONE!

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Oh god! There's no escape! We need to go deeper!

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NO! NOT A PERFECT LOCKED FLASHBACK!

Welp, I'm just going to keep flashbacking until I finally go insane. Back in a sec.

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Oh. That. Was a joke. Well... I guess I said I would, so now I have to...

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Yay~ Hooray~ Woohoo~

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AAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

OH MY GOD! WHAT IS THIS?! THIS IS TERRIFYING! WHO CREATED THESE DEMONIC SPR- Oh wait. BUT STILL! THIS MUSIC! THIS...OH MY GOD! THIS IS THE SCARIEST THING ON AAO!

I'm crying, and I don't know if it's the laughy kind or the terror kind.

A-Any...ANYWAY! Monobadger, kicks me out of the loop because I had Mercy Mode and I return to reality. *shudder*

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Oh, god. Larry! LARRY! IT WAS AWFUL! EVEN MORE AWFUL THAN YOU!

Anyway, apparently Larry's baked Maya a Magatama cake and we talk about people changing and then, well...

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Really? You guys just HAD to make that joke?

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We're....We're really doing this? Really? Okay, then...

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BADGE! THE BADGE! BADGE! BADGE! BADGE!!!

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Wow, Nick... Harsh. What a jerk.

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Hey, look~! I predicted the dialogue~! :D

Anyway, the party dies and Nick is a jerk. But at least he feels bad about his decision.

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...Welp. That's a new one.

Anyway, Maya headed off into the woods but...

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NO! NOT THE BEARS! ARGH! THEY'RE IN MY EYES! THEY'RE IN MY EYES!

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Anyway, we head off to make sure that Maya hasn't been eaten by Yogi or BooBoo.

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And now we return to the world of a little while before, as Maya Fey.

Now, I take a walk through the woods until...

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Ghost Birds. Great.

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Oh, well. Time to kill it.

*ahem*

I'LL PUT AN END TO YOUR CRUEL NECROMANCING!

(but we were just dancing...)

GO BACK, DEMON BEASTS, FROM WHENCE YOU CAME!

YOUR IN ACE ATTORNEY,NOW! THIS ISN'T A GAME!


And so forth...

EXORCISM!!!

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Or not. Looks like the exorcism failed, and now I'm trying to help the bird out.

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Anyway, I follow the Ghost Bird until I finally end up at this tree.

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Where I find Ryouta who's been hurt badly.

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Anyway, I need to heal the bird now. Let's try healing it WITH THE POWER OF MAGATAMA!

Eventually, I start doing things right and swab+bandage the wing.

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AND THEN THIS HAPPENS!

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One trauma center later, I've healed the bird a-

OH CRAP! IT'S HEART STOPPED BEATING! I NEED TO DO BIRD CPR! I'M FAR TOO SHOCKED TO SCREENSHOT IT EITHER!

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Hooray~! I saved the pigeon! Yay~!

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Anyway, now I get to name it. Time to have Xat Names Pigeonmon~!

And it turned out most of them weren't paying attention. So I just named it Harley Hatowell because I love stupid puns.

Anyway, the pigeon likes it so much that it suddenly learns how to respond to the human language and nods.

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We now return to our regularly scheduled Gourd Lake.

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Hm...Well, if you literally stop all thought you'll die. So obviously I picked that~!

Which didn't work. So I just thought about Nick.

Which resulted in Pearl lamenting the loss of change and some guy started playing guitar somewhere.

And then I decided to think about Maya...

And then a lady appeared on the lake and I could walk towards her. If I drop Pearl in, do I get a Gold one?

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Oh crap! It's Viola!

Anyway, now I can talk to her. I'm gonna ask her about the cake.

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Viola teaches me how to skip stones, and now I can tell her who I'm angry at. I pick herself. Because I'm angry at Pearl too.

Anyway, we talk about grim retribution because 8 year olds love that subject and then we skip some more stones.

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And now we're back to looking for Maya. Hopefully she hasn't been eaten by a pigeon while we were gone.

So, we find her napping with Harley Hatowell and we take a look at the code on it's leg and-

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OH COME ON! At least it's not 11037.

So, I go to enter the number in and... It suddenly slips Phoenix's mind. Great. :T

In any case, we decide that we'll keep the bird and go back to meet the others.

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And we're back. And now it's time to party~!

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Now how should we celebrate... How about... Balloons>Presents>Cake?

And first we have the ballons, which...popped. To reveal a new message. Sadly, it didn't fully load so I couldn't get a screenshot. But what it said was... "He Shank Yo Ma". Juuuuust what Maya needed to hear~.

Next, we brought out presents.

Pearl bought Maya a lovely ivory seal. Phoenix bought her the chibi steel samurai key ring set and Gumshoe and Maggey bought her...

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ARGH! ARGH! ARGH! ARGH! ARGH! ARGH! ARGH! ARGH! ARGH! ARGH! ARGH! ARGH! ARGH! ARGH! ARGH!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!

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Phoenix gets it. Sob... ;_;

Anyway, now it's time for Franziska's gift. I'm sure that'll put a smile on Maya's fa-

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....Or not.

Let's hope the cake fares better.

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GODDAMMIT, VIOLA!

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PHOENIX GETS IT!

Anyway, it seems like Phoenix is going to have to comfort Maya an-

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OR she could go coo coo for coacoa puffs. That works too.

So, Phoenix leads her off to the beach where we can let her vent a bit.

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Oh, don't worry. Live's end, but this party is forever. :3

Anyway, she vents about all her worries and issues for a while and I say I'll be there for her and then...Well...

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Umineko happens. And Maya assures us that in the end she'll be fine in red. And then we head back to the party and everyone apologizes.

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And now we're using though route to work out just why Viola knows the bird. PLEASE don't let it slip Phoenix's mind this time!

And he's getting close...

He's almost worked it out...

He's thinking about looking at it from another angle...

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I officially hate you.

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I hate you.

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Remember when I said I hate you? Still do!

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THANK YOU!

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.............................................F**************************************************!!

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Well, no shank, Sherlock!

...............................and he then proceeds to accidentally turn it upside down, realise nothing and then turn it back to the original position.

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:mrgreen: Ah! Fina-

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NO NO NO NO DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT NO NO NO NO GOD NO CRAP ARGH WHY I HATE HATE HATE NO NO NO WHY WHY DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN ARGH ACK WHY NO DAMN!!!!!

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I have a weeping option. Welp, if you don't use it, you lose it.

And the weeping still lets me continue this farce. Sigh... Okay. Here we go.

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YES! YES IT DOES, YOU THICK FRIG! DAMN! FINALLY! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

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And, finally, the madness ends.

So, we find out that it's Viola's pigeon and she was flying it around when it got shot by Pigeon Kidnappers from a criminal syndicate. Then, she says Maya can continue looking after the bird, and we all sign gag orders so that no-one will spill the birds location and put it, and us, in danger. After that, we head back to Phoenix's office.

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And now for dramatic monologuing, courtesy of Darkness Corp.

Basically, it lets me know someone at the party tried to kidnap the pigeon. And that our mysterious narrator is a member of something known as "P syndicate", oh and also that Mia and Maya's blood is on their hands but that's not important.

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And we're back to the Wright and Co. law office~! Where dreams come to die.

Anyway, our pigeon seems to be enjoying themselves and we start planning what we're going to do when...

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Huh. Guess the syndicate delivers. I hope they remembered, no pineapple!

In any case, Phoenix wright points out that our guest is in a room with a detective, a mob boss' daughter, a person who commands spirits, two prosecutors and...

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o_o Maggey. F***ing. Byrde.


Ah, but our guest brought some backup.

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Okay, they may be armed to the teeth, but can we have some pizza BETWEEN our teeth now?

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ANIMANIACS JOKE INCOMING!

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Yep. Just as I thought.

Anyway, Maya tries to escape with the pigeon so the Guest pulls out a gun and goes to shoot her.

I choose to jump in front of the bullet and shout, because I've got to get SOMETHING to eat!

But the Edgey jumps in the way. Then Franziska. And then Gummy. And then Maggey.

And finally Viola.







And then the friggin damn pigeon. GOD. DAMMIT!

And then Maya again. Friggin' hell! How goddamn slow is this bullet?! Don't those typically move faster than SOUND let alone FREAKING PEOPLE!

And then, Maya dies. And we enter...the Grimdark Age of the Law!

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Two days later.

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We are thrown into Maya's funeral. Seems fun enough.

Anyway, I try and cry and Pearl delivers a speech and then we cut to a month later.

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Looks like Wrighto needs a vacation.

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OH! So that's why he knew Lithuanian, earlier!

Oh, and ftr, he brought the pigeon.

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ACK! SHANNON?! What are you doing off Rokkenjima?!

Anyway, Shannon takes us to our room and lets us know not to worry if we hear any screaming. It's just another locked room murder.

Anyway, Phoenix's cousin dies in a locked room murder but Phoenix just doesn't feel like solving it so he has a coffee and relaxes and then heads home.

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And now, we jump another month forward.

Nick's back home, and his pigeon is wearing that damn Lithuanian hat. In any case, I go to water Charley when I notice something under it's leaf...

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Oh. It's an electronic bug. Literally. Come on, seriously?

Next I go to pack up some books for Viola, only to find another bug. Huh. Weird.

Then we check the phone. Seems Edgeworth has caught an accomplice to the shooting and we've got a lead, a website that the P syndicate frequents. Also, we find the final bug inside the phone. Huh. I wonder who did that...

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Four months later, an we're looking at the website mentioned before. Somehow, it looks familiar. 4chan? Reddit? Court-records? Witch-Hunt!?

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And we're treated to a tutorial on writing female characters. Amazing.

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Well, once the evening is over, we'll reach an Endless Night.

Anyway, Nick settles in to play Endless N- I mean, Interminable Evenings and we cut to six months later.

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Ohai Larry. You're my favorite customer.

Anyhoo, Larry suggests we hang out sometime during the week.

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Woah! Nick! What's wrong with Viola?! She's the one who gave you Harley Hatowell, remember?!

Anyway, we explode and Larry and kick him out. Because...Nick's a jerk, I guess?

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And now it's time to hang out with The Pizza Man.

So, Pizza Man springs Godot out on the condition that he helps him get revenge. Godot says "K. Sure" and the scene, and the prologue, ends.

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Thanks for the spoilers! :T

Anyway, after some interjecting from our narrator we're back to the court.

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So, here we are. Just chilling in the court. Waiting for our client. Hoping that it'll appease Maya. Wonder who it-

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Oh HELL no!

Okay, so it seems Pearl's been put on trial for murdering Iris in a locked room. And, yep, I've been dragged into it.

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Luckily, we have a secret weapon! The power of A- I mean, DDO trials! These trials sound in no way familiar, thank you for asking.

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And these guys are DEFINITELY not Blackrune, DWaM, Zeta, Ping', BP and... Uh, Papas? I don't know who it possibly could b- Oh wait! It's so obvious! A conundrum is a puzzle or riddle and another word for that... Is Hodou Okappa. I got it right on the nose!

Anyway, jokes aside, it's time for court.

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Oh, hi Godot!

Anyway, Godot acts like a massive DW- I mean, nihilistic darkness loving psychopath and gives us a whole speech on why real life is grimdark and what not. And then we finally get to our first witness.

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Ohai, Gummy.

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Alright, Gumshoe's giving us testimony and it's time to take him down.

But, before we can do that the narrator gives us a little speech on how the contradictions make absolutely no sense whatsoever.

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Whateverdo youmean by that? :/

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Wow. They weren't kidding when they said the contradictions don't make sense...

Anyway, we spot an issue with the Perfect Locked Room in Gummy's testimony, but then Godot "actualizes" the evidence and sends us back to the testimony.

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Okay! Now we've found a contra- "Actualizing" again?! REALLY?

In any case, we...sigh...we move onto the next witness.

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........................................................................................................................................................................I'm done.
ENIGMA OUT! I'M DONE!









Sometime later, I return, broken and ruined, and finally get on with Polly's testimony.

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This is a real contradiction, by the way. I'm not even making this up.

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Well, DUH. That's BASIC knowledge! Everyone knows THAT.

In any case, Oh-God actualizes some more evidence and we're back to square one.

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THERE! Here's another contradiction! I got you now you damn parro-

And then GodDammit actualizes some more evidence and we're back to square one.

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This one is almost logical. It...It almost works.

And then GodOHCOMEON(!) actualizes the evidence some more and we're back to square one.

And then the judge gets sick of this whole thing and ends the crossexamination, leading me to have to restort to... Asking about after the crime!

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This shouldn't take too long.

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Boom! Suck it, Polly. Now I- Wait. Did someone say "ac-" DAMMIT!

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Fine. Second try. Let's go. This sho-

...nope. back to square one.

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SURELY this one wi-

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Please just let this one wo-

Nope. lolactualised.

And with that, the judge ends this little farce. Yay. SERIOUSLY, GODOT! THE ONLY THING YOU HAVEN'T ACTUALIZED IS MY BA-

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........spoke too soon. GODDAMMIT GODOT!

Anyway... Godot wipes the floor with us some more, but we still have one last shred of hope.

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Yeah! Any locked room is really just a ton of wordplay and silly trickery!

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Right and- Wait. Hold up. Why was my counterpart's name mentioned twice? Uh...Hm...

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Uh... Hm... Present everything, time!

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.....really. is that so. okay...wynaut...

Anyway, we force Godot to present the audio recording that came with the badge (don't question it) and we find that at the time of the murder, Pearl was smashing the Sacred Urn.....again.

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Heheh~ Finally! We can launch our attack!

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That's right, Godot! Try and actualise your way out of this one. Oh wait! You can't! >:3

Heheh~ Victory feels goo-

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Whuh. Wait. What? Hold on... Do you mean that... DAMMIT!

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wait. ....seriously? Death Penalty? Torture?! REALLY?!

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Okay, now that's just sick. You're a twisted fiend, Godot!

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Okay... We still have one last chance.

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And we're using it to have Pearl testify. Brilliant.

Anyway, the contradiction here is rather easy (despite the fact that it's 20+ statements long). It's simply that Iris apparently had red hair when she typically had black hair. I WONDER what that means.

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Clearly, Mass Hallucination is the only explanation.

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After trying all the other options, I eventually caved in and chose the sane option.

Of course, this now means we have to back up our theory with proof. Welp, can do, Kapp'n.

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Bet you didn't know THAT, did you? But I did. I looked at the profiles. The profiles told me. The profiles control me...

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And now, looking at the murder weapon, isn't it possible that the blood on it belonged to someone related to her...

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20 bucks you didn't see THIS ONE coming.

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And, at this point, the case LITERALLY becomes Dangan Ronpa. Next second, I bet Monobadger pops up and Iris was the mastermind all along.

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Teleportation is the only option that makes sense.

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See? Told you~. (Okay, in reality it was the last option. But... Magical Ferret Boy....)

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Oh crap. I KNEW he was being WAY too quiet!

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...............OH COME ON! You're not really going to-

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Dammit. Dammit. Dammit... Actualising everything. Godot you jerkbag.

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How. By ACTUALIZING reality, Godot? Is THAT how? Huh, is it?!

Anyway, Phoenix is not deterred. He has the power of MAN WITH A DISGUISE on his side!

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The answer to this is in the evidence, for the record. On the Perfect Locked Room evidence. It took, like, five seconds to check. Getting out of this locked room is turning out to be surprisingly easy.

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Yes! Totally! Absolutely! Verily! I swear it is now shuuuush! Shut up! I'm trying to solve a LOCKED ROOM MYSTERY!

Anyway, we finally reach the solution to our pu-

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.............................................................................................what, no Good Author joke thrown in there for good measure? ...Okay. Let's just...ugh.... Come on, Enigma. You can do this. You're a pro.... Just....Okay. Okay. Sure, why not. WHY FLIPPIN' NOT!?

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I know, I know, Your Honour. Just.... Just roll with it, okay? Thanks...

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.....Don't worry, Godot. It'll be over soon. Everything. The madness. The pain. The dumb. The cocopuff... Everything.

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So, I just give in to the madness and point out that everyone was out of the town. Because, screw it. If we're doing this, we may as well go the whole way on it.

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...Screw it! Yes I do! Sure I do!

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BY THE POWER OF BLACKRUNE, I HAVE THE SOLUTIOOOOOOON!!

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Boom. The sap proves everything. It's syrup. Maple syrup. Kwando is the killer. Seriously, though. The treesap came from Australia. Traditional Japanese homes are not made of Aussie wood. I would know.

Next up, I have to show when the room was built.

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Well, that was easy. You want evidence? We got your evidence RIGHT HERE!

But then, how come Iris didn't notice? And where did she go? That's the REAL question.

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She went to a farm where she could play all day. Okay, we have that one locked down.

So, then... Why didn't Pearl notice while all this happened?

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Because the poor little feller was all tuckered out, OF COURSE~! And with that, the locked room is solved.

We're finished~! We're victorious, guys! Yes! Woohoo~! Hooray~! This is the best ever~! Yay~! Ya- Hm? What's that? I've....forgotten something?

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.........Crap. I should have seen this one coming.

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Yep. Phoenix gets it. We already got Pearl acquitted of murder... But now she faces torture before death. Dammit.

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Wipe that smug smile off your face, Godot. Go...Drink some coffee or something.

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Welp, we're screwed.

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Everythings slipping away. We've come so far. But we messed up. We...screwed up. We'll never be forgiven.

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Oh god. Even Maya's gone.

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OH GOD! Godot can read minds! He's....so smug. Such a jerk! Well, when I...somehow...do thing...he won't be laugh so good happy no more.... Yeah. Whatever that means!

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Ooh~ Bear pit fun time~! It has BEARS! AND it's fun! I love bear pit fun time! Upupupupu~

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Guys! Stop bribing DWaM! Bribe me instead!

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Hand it on a platter...A plate.... WAIT! A PLATE?! AS IN, PIZZA?! DOES THAT MEAN...

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:o GODOT WAS A PIZZA MAN ALL ALONG! HOLY CRAP! So... Does that mean... They merged with Starbucks?!

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And now we're flashing back to the one time Phoenix saw this giant bloody P. Good times, good times. 'Course, this was back during his referencing days when he just referenced everything.

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YOU'RE TEARING ME APART, MAYA!

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And to top of all the references, we have one from The Depressing Turnabout. Good job, guys. That's a rap.

But, with that over, Phoenix bounces back with his second wind. He has a brand new strategy.

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....disproving his own arguments. Um... Good plan, I guess?

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DAMMIT! IT'S THE ATTORNEY'S BADGE, AGAIN! It just gets in everywhere!

So, how will this piece of evidence be explained?

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Godooooot. Have you been actualising again? Tch. Silly boy. *laugh track* *LAUGH TRACK* *lAUgH TrACk!!!*

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Wow. Who could have guessed. Not me. Nope. Godot was totes unsuspicious about it.

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BUT, GODOT, IT'S CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL!

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Yes. That's what we've all been saying, Wright. Now calm your badge.

And then, Godot basically says "lol. liek i care. i drink coffee. lelelelel."

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Finally, we can wipe that smug grin off his face.

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At that moment, the tables were turned. Hell, the only way we could incriminate Godot more is if-

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A bailiff was to run in and specifically say that Iris was still alive and that they had found her locked up somewhere and then maybe mention that...

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And then further go on to say...


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And then hand Phoenix $50 and say "Fennix ur so awsum". Oh? What? That last part didn't happen? Damn. What a missed opportunity.


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...................................o_o Do I even need to comment on how creepy that sounded?

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Yay~! So, as it turns out, a low voiced adult man just perfectly forged a recording of the voice of an 8year old girl. Makes sense. Ah, well. Alls well that ends we-

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THEY FOUND THE URN AND THE VICTIM, GODOT!


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Oh god. OH GOD! OH COME ON! NO! SERIOUSLY! Really, Godot?! What kidn of person expects tha-

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Uh......Oh. Um... In my, I mean, Conundrums defense... Entropy and Basidi O'mycotta worked out his stuff pretty damn fast, you know?


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Fun fact: None of these work. There. Time saved.

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See? Told you so~

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That's because we had a fun little thing called... The magic of fiction~!

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You're going to get jiggy with it?

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Oh, I see. That works t-

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...................................................wut.

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Who's there? I don't see anyone. Nope. You're silly. You must be hallucinating. Or maybe it's a ghost. Hahaha. Silly Godot.

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Oh, yeah. And also that. We can work with that.

In any case, Godot points out that Pearl can't testify since she's clearly biased.

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Is it Grimdark!Polly again~? I love Grimdark!Polly! He's a cool bird. Is psycho. And doesn't afraid of anything.

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........Okay. So we're getting the murder victim to testify about her own murder. Amazing.

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"She totes killed me. Really! I'm, like, SUPER dead. Yep."

Someone try this in a real court, please.

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I like to imagine she said that in a complete monotone. "She murdered me." Testimony over. And such.

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Sure she can! What could possibly go wrong~? :awesome:

Of course, that's still not enough. I need EVIDENCE! PROOF! Something solid! Like human wa- Never mind. But how can I prove it perfectly?

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uh-oh

So, I can choose a whole bunch of evidence to prove my point. Hm... How about...

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EVERYTHING! EVERYTHING IS IMPORTANT! HAHAHAHAHAHA!

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................................Everything was important.

Of course, Godot objects. All this evidence points to Dahlia being the victim, right?

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AH! I see! That... makes sense! Heheh. That's right! I have the power of PROOF on my side!

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I also have the power of complete and total BS on my side, too. Yay~!

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"That's a lot of fish." Also notice how the shock of this revelation rendered the judge unconcious? IT WAS THAT AMAZING!

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Oh, here we go. What does Mr. Complaint have to say now?

So, Mr. I-Complain-Nonstop points out we've explained the how and who, both correct...

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Um... Because of yo mama? I have no idea. Maybe she didn't give Pearl enough icecream?

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THERE! Ain't nobody got time for your whydunnits!

But, all of a sudden, Godot says he'll explain the why. Because suddenly he's not a massive tool. And thus, he requires a recess. The judge is hesitant.

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Surprisingly, the judge is STILL hesitant. He asks how long this recess will take.

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Thank you. How VERY specific.

And, then, the recess is granted, we get a bit of speech from the narator and the scene ends.

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Fifty years of refreshing, the trial finally loads. No, I'm not kidding. This was ridiculous. I could have written my own comp entry in the time it took for this game to actually load and work! Needless to say, I was not impressed and, in fact, specifically took a screencap of the loaded screen so I could rant about that. In future, try and make the game actually playable for the people judging it. So many times it would load but not be able to be played. It was ridiculous. Anyway, back to the actual game.

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So, we return to Phoenix-chan waiting for Armstrong-senpai to send him that text that shows he's finally noticed her~. In reality, I have no idea what message he's referring to.

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You found the Pizza Hut?

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Wow. Who knew the local pizzaman was so into trials... I wonder if he gives lawyers half-price.

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Evens the scales? As in... THE SCALES OF JUSTICE?! Hahahaha! Yes, yes! I'm here all week. Thanks you.

And with that weirdly vague phonecall, we return to court.

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Oh, sweet. We ordered pizza. Nice.

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Nah, just the player. And the audience of this LP. And everyone that ISN'T called Enthalpy or Ferdie.

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Hee hee... He said Pee Syndicate.

On a more serious note, how does a restaurant take over the legal system!?

Anyway, it seems Wright's been on the trail of the P Syndicate ever since Maya's death buuut...

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Oh snap! Godot was a good guy! Bet you didn't see THAT ONE coming!

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Did he throw in half price coupons and some free garlic bread? Maybe a recipe for how to make a joke go on far too long?

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OH, SORRY. I DIDN'T GET THAT FROM HOW YOU WERE SO CLEARLY ON PHOENIX'S SIDE JUST NOW. NOPE.

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Ooooh. So this whole trial was LITERALLY a farce! And I thought it was just silly! Now it all makes sense!

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He's the guy coming to the courthouse. He'll be on a little red scooter and be holding a flat, square box with delicious and steaming hot food inside.

In any case, we decide to humour the judge and explain how this would work if this was a mystery novel.

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PFFT...Being fair!? In THIS game?! Hahahahaha!

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....oh. okay. never mind, then.

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Isn't that what I just said?! Pay attention for once! Gosh!

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You know you COULD have said that without the red. Just saying... I would have trusted you.

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That one teacher you had who was a seriously terrible judge, that one time?

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Bai toDogy~ You're my favourite customer~!

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Oh sweet! Now is the time for me to name the mastermind. Now, for the sake of just saying it, I actually did get this right on my first try. Ask Evo, if you must. Of course, I'm not going to spoil it yet because, you know, all of you fantastic readers. Except you, Enth. You don't get to be fantastic. How dare you and Ferdie make a game that I enjoy! RUDE! :T

So you guys can guess, if you're a terrible person who spoils themselves... Here are the clues.

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Okay? You read those clues? Good. It's time for me to... ANNOUNCE THE TRUTH!

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Pffft! You thought I was serious. Hahaha. What idio-

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owait.

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OH SNAP! That's right! The mastermind is Payne~! Wow! I've never heard of a case with an evil Payne who forges major evid- Oh wait. What's this I dropped here...

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Oh snap! Payne is in the court! And he's even backed up by the power of The Theme of the White Oak!

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Oh, sure. I bet all the killers can get away with that. "You killed him!" "SLUR! SLUR AGAINST ME! DEFAMATION!" "Wait... What?" "You can't accuse me! It's defamation of character!" *PENALTY*

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In any case, Payne goes on to point out that our evidence is technically forged. Since, you know, the murder never happened. So, this evidence means nothing. Also, he mentions that if we give him enough time he can get an expert witness to prove his innocence and such.

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Oh, yeah. He also tampered with Ema's exam. That's why she became a grumpy detective. Go figure.

A bit later, he then proceeds to contradict what he said just now.

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:objection: What happened to not owning all the forensic experts?

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And, just for good measure, he busts out the red truth. Hooray.

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After that, Phoenix thinks to himself in very vague terms for a bit. No major reason.

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In any case, we suddenly get a burst on insight and encouragement from a mysterious voice. Which is just what we need.

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WHAT?! No red?! But then how will you be able to see any blood? How will you be able to see most things since everything tends to have some level of red to them, right? How will you be able to read important text?!

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What? Payne? Overconfident? Pssshaaaaaw!

Anyway, it seems Phoenix has been watching and observing everything about Payne...

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Ew.

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Payne confirmed to be Ferdie, since he WAS the last guy to have an MotM interview.

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...........well, THAT was rude. Did you ever think maybe put a lot of effort into those mysteries, Phoenix?! ;_;

In any case, that's not the only thing Phoenix found out.

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Shock! That's right! The traitor was within the offices all along!

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If I couldn't what was the point of saying that. :T

Okay, folks. Again it's time for "Let The Jerks Who Spoil Themselves Guess"!

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Okay, you ready? I should note, I actually managed to get this one right. But I figured it was a joke. Okay. Ready? You suuuure? Really sure? Okay... If you say so...

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....yep. You hear the man. The plant betrayed us. What a dastardly deed. But what are we going to do? Take it to court?

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.......welp. I'm done. No, seriously. I'm done. Comp over. Go home. GET OUTTA HERE!






Okay, I'm back... Yeah. I'm fine. No, seriously. Okay... Time to fight the plant.

Phoenix demands that I drag the truth out of Charley with old fashioned red+blue, but... Oh no! What's that?

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Apparently the, ugh... plant... And all members of P.... Are masters of manipulating the Red and Blue truth.

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Uh, Mr. Wright? Wordplay and double meanings would like to have a word with you~.

Anyway, Phoenix ignores that and we begin our fight with Charley.

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New minigame alert! New minigame alert! And, yes. THE PLANT IS A MASTER OF PSYCHOLOGICAL WARFARE! I guess that makes sense, since you LITERALLY CAN'T PSYCHE OUT A TREE.

Anyway, this game is brain training. No, it literally is. You have to be quick and tap words that match instructions. And they're either red or blue. I guess... Brain Training is a fitting game when if comes to Enth and Ferdie, I guess.

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More against the laws of nature than the FRIGGING TALKING TREE?!

Anyway, I take down Charley (pretty much no stuffups~ yay~) and Charley begins to confess.

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See, Charley used to be a plant at Grossberg's office. Diego's best friend. And then, when T&T happened and Diego fell into a coma Mia brought him to be by Diego's side. He always blamed Mia for what happened to Diego. And finally, one day, Mia gave up on Diego. She moved Charley to her office. Charley snapped. He leaked the info on her that got her killed to P. And since then, he became P's propert-

Wait. Why is Payne moving towards the witness sta-

OH GOD!

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Why?! WHY, PAYNE?!

(I have a confession to make. It's around here that he said the story I said just that smidgen earlier. But format works better like this...)

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Ch... Charley...A good plant died...Farewell, sweet tree.

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.............goddammit, Charley.

It looks like Payne has won. All is lost, when-

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OH DAMN! In retrospect, killing a witness is typically frowned upon... Yeah...

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Hell, Payne's so screwed even the judge acknowledges it.

And, yet... Payne is unfazed.

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Really? REALLY!?

In any case, Payne reveals his motive. As a veteran prosecutor, he watched as a bunch of teenage brats kept getting their licenses. It was insulting. Humiliating. And so, he grew to resent the system. And so he decided to tear the system apart. Phoenix calls him a monster, I call him a PAYNE-in-the-ass! Ha~! GEDDIT?!

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Yes, it seems Payne had one last ace up his sleeve. We can't win, can we... Unless...

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Meta-humour? Umineko references? Evidence?!

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oh. hell. no.

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Uh... I'm afraid to ask.

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You're a Killer in the metaphorical sense or the... Okay, that was a dumb question.

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Wow. He looks REALLY pale without his orange skin. What, did he stand in a freezer before the trial!?

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Wow. I swear, Tigre's theme sounds genuinely heroic right now. That's the amazing thing about context, isn't it~?

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So, in the end... Tigre really did love Viola. What a lovely story~ I can't think of anything else to say. I ran out of witty ages ago. Even before this LP, if you ask some.

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Oh, HEY~! It really IS Tigre!

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Payne objects. But that's not the only trap set...

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So THAT'S why Payne wears those glasses! He can't tell young women from old men! Amazing! I wouldn't be surprised if Godot turned out to be a pigeon!

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And with that, all's well that ends well. We took down P and saved the earth.

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Because plotholes, my dear Iris!

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Come on, guys. The trials here aren't THAT cruel. :T

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Yay~! So, Tigre and Godot are applying for parole, Payne's in jail, Iris is alive, Pearl is safe and everything's good~! Well, except the whole Maya being dead thing...

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Psyche! Maya's still alive! That's right! Didn't she tell you this would happen at the start of the case?


And with that, the trial ends.

Oh wait, one last thing...

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GODDAMMIT!

Final Verdict

Did I enjoy this trial? Yes. Did I love this trial? Yes. Is this trial in my favorites? Yes.

Honestly, I don't have much to say about this trial. Because, well, it's not something that's easy to discuss. It's something quite new. Something quite different. I guess I could say I found the humour fantastic? I could say that it all looked aesthetically pleasing? I could say that the story entertained and intrigued? But then, where would that get us, really. It's fun, and I enjoyed it. That's the most I have to say. I only have ONE issue with it. And that is playability. You don't know how many times I had to refresh this game just so I could play it. It wasn't buggy, per se. It just flat out refused to work. It was ridiculously frustrating! I'm not sure what the cause of this was, but I'm pretty sure it's a traffic problem. And, well, MAYBE you should have waited for the judges to play before showcasing. Just saying. At the heart of this, though, this was a fantastic case and I thoroughly enjoyed it. I don't know what else I can say. Thank you for making it, EnthalFerd.
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Re: Time Goes By...

Post by Ferdielance »

Thank you for your detailed review and LP! I'm glad you enjoyed it!

I see three possible explanations for the load issues:

1) Many people were simultaneously playing. This is unlikely to be it, since I have a Pro account and was well under my cap of users, but it's possible

2) Mediafire caps SIMULTANEOUS downloads by individuals, and sadly, the new loader downloads all music simultaneously. This is more likely, but doesn't explain why it works for many people.

3) The Australian Internet is made of tin cans and baling twine.
"A slow sort of country!" said the Queen. "Now, here, you see, it takes all the running you can do, to keep in the same place. If you want to get somewhere else, you must run at least twice as fast as that!"
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Re: Time Goes By...

Post by Enthalpy »

I also thank you for the LP and Review...

But it's not needed. We found the winner, ladies and gentlemen:
Spoiler : Glory lies within... :
[D]isordered speech is not so much injury to the lips that give it forth, as to the disproportion and incoherence of things in themselves, so negligently expressed. ~ Ben Jonson
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Re: Time Goes By...

Post by enigma »

Apologies to the final two of our contestants. I lost one of your SoC's and couldn't get it back and...uh...the other one's LP ended up being a little, well, mean. So I didn't use it. Yeah. Anyway, final two reviews from me! Yay~!
Spoiler : Sami's Entry :
To The Dreamer's Isle

Alright, let's do this thing. First up, let's begin with the main thought TTDI left me. Ahem... "D'aaaaw~" Yes, To The Dreamer's Isle is a truly heartwarming and touching story. I personally adored it. And not just because it was basically Manifest: Another Story (with a bit of SA:FW thrown in for good measure).

The story was written extremely well. Pacing wise, sometimes I did feel it dragged on in some scenes. But for the most part, it was a very interesting look at an alternate take on Annabelle's life (since I assume the events of her life on Manifest Island will probably go much differently). Almost every scene worked great on an emotional scale, and rarely did it feel...convoluted. It felt pure. Crisp. A great improvement on Summon Simulacrum where I felt lost at times. In contrast, this is easy to follow and sometimes heartwrenching. I'd say the best scenes where the begining, middle and end. Watching little Annabelle get taken from her parents, seeing her family "disown" her and the end where the provisitation rights are allowed. Fantastic and emotionally charged. Good writing. Little typos. All I could ask is that it maybe be longer, but for the most part it said all it needed to.

The music was great. No complaints here. The characters were all likable, and didn't feel too much like their Manifest counterparts (in the case of Arnold and Carl to Artemis and Cal, respectively). However, I do feel the game lacked gameplay. Really, while the story was great I saw many instances where SOME form of interactivity could have worked. Maybe a battle system or a minigame so we could fight using our puffski's? Maybe you could have let us explore Annabelle's mind world? We could have at least had a choice in our plushies, maybe? I just felt that a lack of interactivity brought this game down a little since, well, there was none.

Overall, I liked this game as a story, but as a game it kind of fell flat.
Spoiler : Gamer2002's Entry :
Cybernabout

...Where do I begin? I liked the premise? A future where everything is controlled by corporations, and the courts are run by cyber programs and androids. That's pretty clever and creative. But, honestly... In execution, it fell flat.

For a start, I never felt that invested in the story. The characters just weren't engaging. Maybe it was their distractingly typo ridden dialogue (every now and then I came across a frame with dialogue I literally couldn't understand)? Or maybe it's because they just didn't feel like they had much of a personality. Which is totally fine for cyborgs/androids, I guess... But, well, that doesn't change that they weren't fun to interact with. Nextwave's son was a jerk for no real reason. Nextwave was kinda just...bland. And his dialogue always felt like it was meant to be impactful, but without really understanding his story it just fell flat. Maybe that was an issue that was resolved in a later part that we didn't get to see. AI-SISSTANT was...well... She was supposed to be cheerful, I guess? But I never really saw that. She was mainly forgettable.

But the main problem with this case lay in how it was presented. Lots of things just...made no sense. How did this Sun Society come to power? Why are they being evil? Most importantly, why does the main character care so much? It never felt like thse questions were being set up to be answered to me. They just were. Furthermore, what was the point of that flashback to the thing with that doctor? And why did he do what he did? The, hm... Client(?) in that case was also rather confusing/hard to believe. She, a grown woman, sent a letter to her father asking him not to give money to her brother because she had a bad dream? And the father, was worse. He showed the letter to her brother? Why? What good could come of that? Especially if he didn't want them fighting... And, most of all, how did the main character manage to even get this case into court?! Their was already a confession from another completely different party! The (rather unintuitively named) Terror Group. And if the Sun Society is so powerful, why didn't they just not have the trial occur? This is really something that had to be explained rather than handwaved. I have a thing for dystopian societies, so there were a few ways I would explain it, myself. Maybe they want to create a false trust in the "uncorrupt" nature of their Court System? Maybe they want to make it seem like they're completely and totally honest by letting this thing slide, as if they have nothing to hide? But, we'll never know. Because it was all handwaved. And, for that matter, whatever happened to make this world become as it is? Too many questions, not enough answers.

I will give you credit for the system you made for playing as the prosecutor. It had merit, though it could have done with a bit of a polish. But it wasn't bad. I think it worked out nicely, even if you did kind of have to make leaps in logic every now and again...

Finally, I will say that I didn't particularly care for the music but that's just personal taste. I've never liked cyber-type electronic music, so yeah... But I will say it was fitting for the case, and I guess it worked.

In conclusion, there was some level of merit in the premise and gameplay, but your execution needed quite a bit of work and polishing. I'm sorry. In any case, thank you for your time and effort, and for joining this comp.
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Re: Time Goes By...

Post by Enthalpy »

If that's all the reviews from enigma, best of luck to all our competitors as DWaM's reviews and the results loom...

And I might as well re-ask the obvious question.
Enthalpy wrote:Just to be clear, does K1 and their Turnabout Higurashi really exist?
[D]isordered speech is not so much injury to the lips that give it forth, as to the disproportion and incoherence of things in themselves, so negligently expressed. ~ Ben Jonson
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Re: Time Goes By...

Post by enigma »

@Enth: Invisible atoms. ...In the mirror, I see 13.

--.- .-. . -..-. ..-. --. ..-. ...- -.- .-. / ...- ..- ..-. -. . .... - ...- ..- / --. .... -... --- -. .- . .... --. / --.- .-. . -..-. --. ..-. ...- -.- .-. / --. -... .- / ..-. .-. -... --.- / ...- ..-. ..- -. . .... - ...- ..- / --. .... -... --- -. .- . .... --.
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Re: Time Goes By...

Post by DWaM »

Time's Up...

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Kept you waiting, huh?
Welp, this is it. This is the end. ...Of the comp, I mean. Granted, civilization will probably end in a few months as well, with all this crap happening, but as far as this little event is concerned - it's over. We've finished playing all the entries and believe we've judged them to the best of our ability. We want to thank everyone who participated; everyone who took time and made something for this, no matter how small it might've been. Our critique might sound harsh at time to some, and if we offended anyone, we do apologize - but in the end, it's all in good fun, isn't it?

...And if that lame excuse doesn't satisfy you (I know it wouldn't me), then how about this: from what we've seen here, each and every one of you has a talent for writing - that much is clear. But... there is room for improvement - there always is. Hopefully, we'll manage to be of some help in figuring out that "something" you need to better yourselves to truly make your own masterpieces - not just in the twisted world of AA, but in writing in general.

Here are my reviews of all entries that we've received.
Spoiler : Kwando/NN's entry :
Mahou Shojou Lyrical Nanoha ~ BondS

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The hardest part to believe is that she's actually ten in all of this...
...Okey-dokey, before we begin, I would like to place a disclaimer: I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT NANOHA ACTUALLY IS. Well, I... HAD no idea what Nanoha actually is... until ysterday. Specifically, yesterday, 5 PM CET. I'd seen signs of it on the forums, yes and I was aware that both kwando and NN were fans of the show, but I personally never actually watched the show. It didn't interest me or seemed like something I'd particularly enjoy. The reason I'm telling you this is, of course... Well... The entry is basically... A Nanoha fanfic. So I want you to understand this review is based from the point of view of someone who is completely unaware of what the show is - the setting, the characters, the plots, the past - none of that stuff. Completely... in the dark.

So you can probably imagine my surprise and sheer shock that I experienced when I saw the title of this entry. Firstly, I have to applaud the major risk - it became evident that you weren't shooting for a crossover like Curtain or anything of the sort (that said, I'm not sure how a crossover would've possibly even worked with AA, so perhaps it was foolish of me to expect it), but a full-on representation (that is what I am assuming, anyway) of Nanoha's "universe" in the AAO editor. Now... I'm going to have to be honest here - a part of me was sort of hoping it was a troll and that... the real feature presentation would begin any click now. N-Now, before you get any ideas - I'm not saying that it was SO BAD I JUST WANTED TO SHUT IF OFF, nononono - I was hoping for that because you'd taken, as I said, an extremely risky approach. The risk was so massive that this entire concept could've gone one of two ways: It would either fall dead on arrival or be amazing. There was no middle ground here, unfortunately. Why, you may ask? Well - remember how I happened to mention how I wasn't personally familiar with Nanonha? Remember also that part where I was the judge - a person that would need to play this entry no matter what the circumstances? Of course you don't, I thought so. (WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?!?!!? I JUST WANTED LOVE ;_;) Well, here's the thing. This is clearly a fanfiction. Usually, when one happens to read fanfiction, one does so with prior knowledge and interest in the series it's based off. The reason fanfiction exists is because you like a story so much that you wish it to continue in some way, no? Hence, it is reasonable assume that it is content made for fans. ...Sadly, that was not an assumption kwando and NN could've made in this case. The person that was going to play it was going in completely blind (as far as they knew). And, as such, they needed to find a way to introduce the previously mentioned setting, characters and plots to someone like that. They had a massive challenge of getting the player to understand what's happened before in order to fully connect with what's happening in the actual plot. And not only that! They needed to find a way to instantly hook the player into this "new" universe within the first few minutes.

And it is with great regret that I must inform you that I do not believe you succeed in those things. In fact, I'd say that in your request to set up proper foundation, you've actually ended up creating one of the biggest problems with the story and the way it was written. I will try to avoid being harsh and not to bring up points already mentioned by enigma, but as some of you have figured out: I did not enjoy this. I would like to say I appreciate the effort and the clear passion for the story and these characters, but... I just couldn't get into it or manage to properly enjoy it.
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Hi, I'm gonna be a complete ass for the next give or take several paragraphs. This image is to represent my mental state as I'm being a complete ass.
Enigma previously mentioned his issue of the overly-used friendship speeches, which I whole-heartedly agree. I cannot think of a scene off the top of my head in which the characters weren't going "Nanoha, ur so awsum". But it's actually part of an underlying issue here - the way the exposition is presented to the player. It's not that there wasn't any - GOD NO - it was that so much of this WAS ultimately just exposition. So many times I felt that characters were just sneaking in a "what happened that one time" in their dialogue to the point where I became wondering how much of the things said were coming from the characters and how much from the writer(s). This sounds incredibly harsh, but I want you to understand what my biggest turn-off here was - so many times, I felt like the characters "said" their emotions rather than "expressed" them. I'm not saying that there weren't any moments like that (the Fate in the hospital scene I felt was a step in the right direction), but many of them were. For example, Fate keeps saying so many times that she wants her mother to smile again. This is perfectly fine and a valid character motivation, but it's delivered in such a weak manner - a way that it almost feels like such an important part of a character's emotions is brought up in a daily conversation. The fact that it was said so many times... didn't help, sadly. What you could've done is have Fate resist to answer Afi's (I think her name was?) questions as to why she'd doing this and saving the actual reason for an emotional climax in which Fate ends up pouring her heart and soul out (this would've made the tragic death of her mother so much more emotional in my opinion, as well).
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This issue of "should've shown instead of told" could be applied to the Fate/Nanoha battles, as well. I understand you've working with the AAO editor and are forced under major restrictions graphical-wise, but I'm afraid that... they just got kind of boring for me. They went out for such long amounts of time and in all of them it was more or less the background and Nanoha, with occasional Umineko backgrounds. It just ended up feeling so... lifeless, especially when the majority of the dialogue during them is characters saying what attacks they're using and what they're doing. What you could've done is perhaps implemented the (very well done!) previously seen battle system, gradually increasing the difficulty of Nanoha's boss until the third showdown (or, in this case, medium-easy-hard, I guess?). And in the third showdown, you could've made it so that the outcome is the same, no matter what the player actually does (make it basically a no-lose situation), throwing bits dialogue between the two after each turn. It would've made the pace feel just right and really invest the player in what he's doing as Fate.

And that, put together, adds up to one simple truth - I didn't really CARE for anything that was going on. So many characters were introduced in the beginning that it's hard to get attached to any of them (and again - we're TOLD that they're super friends). Naturally, this is something that would've been fixed through flashbacks, but... It ended up being a major turn-off from the case for me. Perhaps this is subjective of me, perhaps it's simply my own twisted sense of looking at things, perhaps I'm just... really not meant to like Nanoha ever, but... This ended up being the biggest issue for me. And the worst part is, after all that exposition, after all that time spent on Fate's story... I didn't really see how it had anything to do with what was going on in the central plot...

All that being said, there are positives! I mean, come on, nobody wants a COMPLETELY downer review, right? For one, the battle system I felt was really well done. It was fun, it gave me stuff to do and I would've liked seeing a lot more of it in the actual game. And while I have my issues with the way the actual STORY was handled, what bits of dialogue that were just there as characters being themselves did show promise - it's just, alas, I personally could not find myself invested in the story all that much due to... well, that one big issue up there. R-Remember? That part where... I was being an ass...? And hey, that's just my personal opinion! As I said - perhaps I'm being too nitpicky or maybe I have a thing for hating on magical girls, I don't know.

I happened to ask this question earlier on the xat (it was more or less something I happened to blurt out in the midst of my general surprise) - How do I judge this? Theme-wise, you did accomplish what I'd asked of you - even if I would've perhaps wished it would've been a part of the central story (but perhaps the "central story" merely serves as a backdrop to these "stories of how I met Nanoha"?). Story-wise, I personally disliked it, and the execution could've been a lot better (visually, as well - Enigma already mentioned the... poor sprites, but I was actually fine with most of them... except that one pose of Nanoha, where she has her mouth open wide - seemed as she was happy than she was sad or upset, as she was supposed to be). But, on the other hand... This isn't even made for me, I think. Putting aside the possibility that I'm just a huge ass (which I am, mind you, but), maybe the people that like Nanoha will enjoy the way the story has been adapted? From my point of view... I honestly can't possibly comment, I'm afraid. I just... I DON'T KNOW what to make of this. I try to be as objective as I possibly can, but... I'm afraid I simply didn't enjoy this, but... How can someone that's never seen the show enjoy what's clearly a love letter to it?!

...*Sigh* Man...
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I wish kwando and NN the best of luck in their future projects. This one... I suppose just didn't end up appealing to me. I appreciate the clear time and effort put into it. I can see the love for the franchise and the characters, I just you didn't have quite the right idea on how to present it. Perhaps this shouldn't have been used for the comp, but rather a straight-up fanfiction (on AAO, I mean?). Made for the fans, by the fans kind of thing. No need for plot-dumping, exposition, just... Ready-set-go?

I... Honestly don't know. I genuinely don't know how to conclude this...
I...

...
I'm sorry...? :(
Spoiler : Enthalpy's/Ferdie's Entry :
We now return you to "Grimdark - World's Most Depressing Place for telling the most depressing stories ever" with your host: Some guy that will probably end up disappointing you.
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And so... the protagonist walked through the forest... having been attacked by a baby ninja which is actually the protagonist's daughter from another universe in which the protagonist and her husband were killed in a tragic fire which was actually started by the baby in her quest for world domination (OF COURSE, as the baby watched her life go into flames and her parents turn into ashes, she realised that she can't exactly get world domination without proper care and that there was a 0,1% chance that she might end up in a bad foster family [according to movie cliches] so she declared vengeance on every iteration of the universe - if she cannot have happiness, nobody can! ...So, OF COURSE, she ended up building up a transdimensional portal after spending about three years being a tea server in a ninja clan, without actually growing up [this was the result of a curse the protagonist of that universe had received due to the fact that it turned out that her mother in that universe was the devil or something, so after killing her, she her baby got cursed to never grow out of her baby form]). So, the protagonist walked down the forest, thinking to herself:

Oh, fortuna! Oh, misery!
Where have I gone wrong in this long path of mine?
To be attacked by a suspiciously small ninja (Note: the protagonist didn't actually KNOW the ninja was actually a baby)
And watch my fiance getting killed in a completely unrelated car accident?
Oh, why is life so grimdark?


She did not have time to dwell on this, unfortunately... As from the darkness, a terrible, evil-looking, absolutely horrifying, terrifyingly handsome, red-eyed, evilish, creature stepped out. She screamed. But as the creature stepped into the moonlight, the horror only grew, as the creature spoke:
Hi baby.

It was the worst one of them all.
For this was no ordinary animal. No ordinary foe. No ordinary... monster.
...Yes. This was a...

PIGEON!

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...Wait, what? ...Pigeons, seriously? I mean... Really? Pigeons? I mean... grimdark, guys. You... You can't...
WHY DO YOU RUIN EVERYTHING FOR ME?! I-I'M DONE! I'M DONE! IF THIS IS HOW YOU'RE GONNA BE ABOUT THIS, I'M NOT GONNA BE GRIMDARK ANYMORE. ... YOU JERKS!

Stupid... pigeons... Ruining everything. You know, this isn't the first time I've seen something like this happen. Pigeons being terrible people, I mean. Well, I mean... They're not actually people, but...
...
Okay, I have no idea where I was going with this set-up. It's Phantasmagoria of Betrayal, everyone.

Phantasmagoria of Betrayal


A delightful story of friendship, ponies, cookies, that gummy bear that fell of my desk a week ago and I'm seriously considering picking up, but then I'm worried about my uncontrollable urge to eat it... Yup. It's got it all. And, like all GOOD things, it doesn't have any pigeons. I mean, GOD - IMAGINE if something done by Ferdie or Enthalpy would have PIGEONS. In a comp hosted by ME. I mean, that would be implying like they're trying to spite me or something. Ho ho ho.

Welp, time to actually play the trial.

*2 hours later*


...I hate you.

Okay, so where do we begin with this? Well, uh... I liked it, for one. Being the first "trial" that I played, it certainly left quite an impression on me. And yet, I'm worried how much I can actually talk about it. For those who haven't played it - it's basically satire (and to those that haven't played it, well... why are you reading this?). ...I say "basically", because I'm not quite willing to say it's *all* satire. I mean, don't get me wrong, the entire thing is basically one big, giant (but friendly) laugh on pretty much everything that's been produced by the community in the past year or so. And, I mean - sure, by the end, the only thing that ends up being taken seriously is making sure that it's in English, but... It's at the beginning that I found myself confused the most on what this actually WAS. Mainly because the setup is... beyond bizarre. One minute it's the pre-loader, another it's... the tutorial or something, then it's the Greek chorus, then it's "pirated by", then it's The Wheel of Fate, and THEN it's the prologue... At first, I thought it may've been a troll entry (and, to a point, the entire thing kinda was if you happen to be me), and yet the Prologue exhibits genuine signs of emotion. One minute, it's all fun and dandy, and the next minute we're having a "japanese-anime-style emotional conversation about life which includes looking at a lake at sunset". It was... bizarre! I mean, from all the emotions I should've been feeling at that time, I was in shock and fear over what'll be thrown into my face next! ...And then... AND THEN...
THAT...
PIGEON...

I...
I need a moment...
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The true face of despair...


(I would like this time to also give you kudos for the minigames that were there - those were fun, and they must've taken a lot of work to implement, but they're not what made the experience for me. Still, a more than welcome addition to break up the pace at times!)

...Goddamn pigeons. Anyway, that bizarre balance between serious and goofy in the beginning is actually what got me really interested in the, perhaps on paper, "weak" (in terms of emotional value, that is) story. Like, even stuff that was clearly beyond goofy, I kinda ended up taking more seriously because of it, and that really worked in your favour when the trial came around. At that point, I was off-balance, and you just came right around the corner and gave me a knockout.
I mean, at that point things go fully in the goofy direction (perhaps partially due to the fact that the two parts were written by two different people). ...And goofy might be selling it short. I have to give you guys a lot of credit - I'm generally a person that's hard to make laugh. Like, most of the time (IRL, at least), I pretend to find things funny for the sake of people around me - mainly because I have a very different sense of humour. And maybe this trial was made just for me, because I was laughing my ass off at times. ...Oh, who am I kidding, by the time the finale came around, I was dead. So, really great job on that. In my case, what made it even more enjoyable was the fact that most of the time, the person you happened to be satarizing was... well... me! And, I assure you, there is no bigger ego-booster than have someone poke fun at your writing.

...
You know what, just go play it or something, I mean, I really don't know what to say here anymore. I didn't say a LOT, but I... don't think I should. The thing speaks for itself, pretty much.

...But still.
That pigeon...

That was a low blow.
Shame.
Spoiler : Sami's Entry :
To The Dreamer's Isle

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I'll try to keep this short and sweet, because that's pretty much how one can describe this little game in a sentence - short and sweet. Though... one of those two doesn't really work in its favour. Now, when I say "game", I'm actually forced to use the strongest possible quotations because... it's not really a GAME, so much as just... a short story, I suppose? It did have an interactive part here and there, yes, but... it could've done just as well without them, at least in my opinion. Now, enigma already mentioned the story was "clean", but I'd like to think that it actually wasn't... quite. You missed a few spots, to put it in a metaphorical way.

In actuality, my biggest problem here IS the plot, ultimately. Not the idea itself or the world that you created, but the way you chose to let it unfold. A lot of the times, I found that certain scenes were... undeveloped, and because of that ended up feeling somewhat... pointless. That's not to say they didn't have a role in the story you told, that's not what I'm saying - it's just that... if they didn't... quite add up to a certain level of completion that they could've. They didn't have enough impact on me or the characters to have them stand on their own. And this, I think, is because of ultimately how short the story actually is (which might've been caused by the lack of time, I can't comment on that). I ended up feeling that if every scene had been made just a little longer or expanded in a way, it would've truly felt like a "chronicle" that we were after. As they are now, though, they end up feeling like little glimpses of brilliance quickly snatched away right before our eyes. Take the scene before Annabelle was snatched away from her parents. Wouldn't it have been much more interesting to watch her and her parents spend one last day together, trying to be happy, with an uneasy feeling in the air, with pretty much everyone but Annabelle knowing that everything is about to go horribly wrong? That one day would've made the "I don't know you" scene so much more emotional, because you KNOW that they LOVED her and there was a true connection between these characters - Annabelle's inner suffering because of her rejection is made so much worse when you look back on how much they seemingly loved her. And it allows for interesting questions to go about in her head: Are we not considered people anymore? Did they truly love me? Was it all even real? Am I dreaming? Is that all that life is? What makes an actual human? What makes us worthy of loving? What is love? So on and so fourth (I'm not saying you needed to put all of those things in he reader's faces, but they are questions that would've naturally come up, I think). It's those kinds of things that would've made Annabelle a much more interesting character and the final "event" of exploring her mind would've thus been much more interesting - deep down, what she wants the most she can't have to the point where she should start questioning on what her ultimate goal in life is.
As for the other characters, again - I feel like they didn't have that many moments to shine on their own. The arena rescue scene was a good start, but again - I found myself somewhat detached from them because... they never really truly "changed" over time - at least, they didn't seem to. The only thing I came out of remembering about them is "they were nice people". ...Which you don't actually see much of these days. ...Actually, they were all REALLY nice people... Hm. Not even... that "FRIENDSHIP!!1!!" kind of nice, just... good people. ... WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!?!?!
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Having said that, I found that the writing itself was solid - it's just the way that it was utilized was somewhat lacking, if that makes sense. You have a gift for creating your own world and concepts, but the way you choose to develop them seems to be somewhat of an issue when it comes to your works, Sami. I think that perhaps you should try having a bit of a slower pace at the beginning and really work to establish your characters with these "smaller interactions" between them to really make them stand out and really their own and THEN kick in with the major events. Dreamer's Isle, I think, somewhat failed in the respects that there seemed to be moments where Annabelle's world was supposed to be crashing down... and yet we weren't even quite sure what her world truly was... (If that makes sense)
That being said - I really am happy I played it, it's just that I think more could've been done with the concept. Keep on working!
Spoiler : Gamer2002's/chubbyloremaster's Entry :
Cybernabout

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Ooooh, pretty...


I'm... afraid this review will be a bit of a cop-out. Main reason being that... enigma pretty much covered everything I was going to bring up. While the grammar issues didn't really bother me that much personally, I found your entry to just be kinda... there. It wasn't... BAD, but it wasn't really anything special, either. I liked it graphic and mechanic-wise (even if I must ask - what's the point of making the prosecutor mechanics part of a CE? Why not just give the player a choice as soon as the statement in question pops up? You can still have a "think" button for him to consider the situation and then have the player make the choice accordingly...). What I personally think sets this case back are the very first minutes - not the prologue intro, but rather the exposition that comes after it. It... isn't explained that well enough. There is a world here, but there's clearly much more to it - and I wish more of it was introduced to us so that we, as readers, could immediately understand the apparent political circumstances of the trial. But as it is now, we're instantly thrown into a conflict between a father and son, an apparent conspiracy at hand, and CYBORGS.

...Still, though - I imagine that you probably intended to develop this universe through the flashbacks, since I imagine the story would've shown the world enter this "cyber age" through the protagonist's own aging and maturing, which would've been a neat idea. (This is only speculation on my part, but I'm pretty sure that's where you were going with this). Either way, the trial is clearly unfinished, so... I'm afraid that's as far as I can actually comment as far as that goes.
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Ah, alas... One can only dream...
...Actually, since almost all of this feels like just the beginning, I can't help but think this is all I can comment on at the moment. I mean, you clearly... want to go somewhere with this plot, but... what's told here so far isn't... enough for me to call it "great" or even "very good". For what it's worth, I like where it's going, but it needs a stronger introduction into this futuristic world (one which I think does have potential!).
And now...
The winner of the Time Goes By... competition is... (Remember, we said we wouldn't be doing rankings, just the winner!)
Spoiler : Da Winner is.... :
...going to be revealed tomorrow.

One, because we love screwing with you.
And two...

...

No...
No, screwing with you's pretty much the only reason for it.

(Okay, to be fair, there is a legit reason for this)
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clcman
Posts: 1361
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Re: Time Goes By...

Post by clcman »

GodDWaMit.
What do REAL, NON-BRIBED people have to say about HTB!?
"This really changed the way I thought about Phoenix as a character. ...Wow." - Reecer6
"HTB! contains truths that might be hard to stomach, but had to be unveiled nonetheless." - Blackrune
"This deserves a best plot twist award." - Evo
"It changed my life, and it can change yours too. For the better, I mean." - Calvinball
"I will never look at Phoenix Wright the same way again" - PhoenixRises123
"omg best thing on aao" - AceAttorneyMaster111
DISCOVER THE TRUTH YOU NEVER KNEW YOU DIDN'T KNOW IN HTB! PROLOGUE AND PART 1, AVAILABLE NOW!!


"Those people who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do." -Isaac Asimov
"For every complex problem, there is an answer that is clear, simple and wrong." -H. L. Mencken
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Topaz
Posts: 1736
Joined: Tue Apr 13, 2010 6:59 pm
Spoken languages: English, 日本語

Re: Time Goes By...

Post by Topaz »

enigma wrote:@Enth: Invisible atoms. ...In the mirror, I see 13.

--.- .-. . -..-. ..-. --. ..-. ...- -.- .-. / ...- ..- ..-. -. . .... - ...- ..- / --. .... -... --- -. .- . .... --. / --.- .-. . -..-. --. ..-. ...- -.- .-. / --. -... .- / ..-. .-. -... --.- / ...- ..-. ..- -. . .... - ...- ..- / --. .... -... --- -. .- . .... --.
Well done on making a good puzzle, there.

I liked it a lot. 16, btw
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Evo
Posts: 1844
Joined: Sat Jan 08, 2011 12:30 pm
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Re: Time Goes By...

Post by Evo »

Your colors are nice.

Who can crack this code? TNMAL MBS UTC F ZEZL SCBL ANDA RBSXKS i like numbers
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