Oh, sweet. Ferdie and Enth's entry. Heh heh... I can't wait to play this before everyone e-
Goddammit!
Enigma Plays: Phantasmagoria of Betrayal~!
Okay, so this time I'm going to be playing Phantasmagoria of Betrayal. From the start I know only two things about this case.
1.Good People Die
2.Monobadger (I have no idea what he does, though. Just that he...is.)
Anyway, we start off with a preloader. Let's click yes.
...........This music playing. Oh, EnthalFerd. You cards.
Anyway, we're greeted with a totally theme relevant loading screen that loads thematically, in total.
After that, I have the option to watch the intro. I chose yes.
I would have screenshotted stuff from the intro, but I'll basically sum it up instead. Every DWaM case intro ever. There. Done.
Ooh~ Choices~!
I asked the xat what I should call myself. As a result, my name is now Sir Ferdie of Hinamizawa.
.........oh my god.
WITCHCRAFT! SORCERY! MY COMPUTER IS POSSESED! SERIOUSLY, WHAT IS THIS?! WHAT IS THIS!!!?
After...After that witchcraft, I'm asked whether I want to use mercy mode. Since, I am a complete and utter coward, I said "why not?" and went for it.
Actually, I changed my mind! Good thing they had a special feature inputted for that.
...........................10 minutes of blowing later, I finally gave up on that.
Anyway, I turned tutorial prompts on and-
...seriously? Really? Are you... Okay.
One lesson on how to use the arrow later, I'm onto my next choice.
Ooh~ Looks like I can choose my melodrama levels. Well, nothing can beat friendship speech fifty, so let's go for Greek tragedy.
And then this happens. Welp, can't say my curiosity isn't piqued.
So, we get a poem and- Wait. Hold on. What does that last line say again?
...Welp. You hear it from them first, EnthalFerd confirmed for last place. GG WP.
Anyway, we finally find out what exactly that tragedy choice button earlier did. And now it's on to the sh-
Wait. What?
WAIT WHAT?!
wait. what?
Um... So, I guessed that was probably his first trial, and a quick google search tells me that that was in Courtroom Number 2 so... Let's try that.
HA! BOO-YAH! SUCK IT, LEGAL TEAM!
wait. what? (I'm going to be saying this a lot, aren't I?)
Anyway...um...I guess the game's starting now. And it's kinda scaring me. o_o
Wait. WHAT IS THIS GAME?! WHAT IS GOING ON?!
o_o um...because I picked greek tragedy mode? ;_;
So, uh...the skull talks for a bit and then...Well...
THIS happens! Just WHAT am I playing?! To echo the words of DWaM,
just how am I supposed to judge this?!
Ooh~ Let's hope I get Pickles~! SPIN, SPIN, SPIN~!!!
...oh god.
I still want that Pickle, though. So I should probably spin again...
Goddammit!
Okay! I'm just gonna spin it again!
F***!
Okay, I'm just gonna keep spinning until I get that damn pickle!
Crap! CRAP! CRAP! CRAP! CRAP! CRAP! CRAP!
Around 1 in a million! That's what are the odds! Okay, fine. The pigeons win. I'll just accept it.
And now the game begins.
So, it looks like I'm Phoenix Wright and I just ate a barbecue. Sounds nice. Especially since us aussies apparently have a constant obsession with throwing seafood at those.
Dear EnthalFerd Inc.,
8 92.
Anyway, now it's time to guess Gumshoe's charade. We know the first word is Guilty and it's a song title. And the second word can be represented by Gummy giving Maggey a big bear hug. Hmm... I think I've got this one~!
There we go. Let's see how that... Wait. This is before Klavier, isn't it... Oh crap. I've been messed with, haven't I?!
Oh, phew. When it comes to EnthalFerd, I never really do know what to expect...
Anyway, the game winds down and we start to relax.
Oho? A plan, huh?
So, I go ahead and talk to Edgeworth whose sending some specialists over. Who these specialists are and what they do, I have no idea.
Thanks magic green text. How kind of you.
Anyhoo, the Edgeworth tells me a story of how one time, when he was a kid, he and Franziska were playing chess and she tossed a dinner roll at him and he tried to steal peas from her plate and then she stabbed him in the hand. ...yep. That's it.
Anyway, we return to the plan and it seems Gumshoe's been put in charge of some kind of balloon thing.
Oh~ How nice~ They're going to spell out a message~. Yay.
Anyway, next up I talk to Larry and check that I can trust him. Which leads to a flashback. I forgot to screenshot, but I was given the option to flashback about Godot. I chose yes.
Yeah, Sasuk- I mean, Godot! You're such a friggin' jerk, man!
I bet this has absolutely NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS GAME'S CHOICE SYSTEM~ NOPE~
Well, more reminiscing couldn't hurt~ And this time it's about Glen Elg. That one...victim...guy...person...thing...
I am a shadow. The true self. And, it is now that I remember case 3 of game 3. Let's see where this goes.
And now it's time to think about Dahlia. Sounds fun~! Let's do it!
And then this happens. Welp, it DOES say her name is ???, so I'm gonna go with that.
Okay, then... Hmmm... I'm going to pick option 1.
And now it's time to flash back, some more~! Into the wayback, Mr. Wrightbody~!
...I'm just gonna leave this one here, and leave it to you guys to question.
You know what? Edgeworth's a jerk. I'm gonna go ahead and resent it.
Hey, picnics need love too!
Hm... I don't know which one to pick....ah...hm...ah...............YES! I'll pick no!
And then I flashback to Godot again and he's like "what the hell, you just keep flashbacking! what is going on!" and it kinda reflects the truth and then I suddenly die a bit inside.
OH GOD! THIS IS INCEPTION! WHAT HAVE I DONE!
Oh god! There's no escape! We need to go deeper!
NO! NOT A PERFECT LOCKED FLASHBACK!
Welp, I'm just going to keep flashbacking until I finally go insane. Back in a sec.
Oh. That. Was a joke. Well... I guess I said I would, so now I have to...
Yay~ Hooray~ Woohoo~
AAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
OH MY GOD! WHAT IS THIS?! THIS IS TERRIFYING! WHO CREATED THESE DEMONIC SPR- Oh wait. BUT STILL! THIS MUSIC! THIS...OH MY GOD! THIS IS THE SCARIEST THING ON AAO!
I'm crying, and I don't know if it's the laughy kind or the terror kind.
A-Any...ANYWAY! Monobadger, kicks me out of the loop because I had Mercy Mode and I return to reality. *shudder*
Oh, god. Larry! LARRY! IT WAS AWFUL! EVEN MORE AWFUL THAN YOU!
Anyway, apparently Larry's baked Maya a Magatama cake and we talk about people changing and then, well...
Really? You guys just HAD to make that joke?
We're....We're really doing this? Really? Okay, then...
BADGE! THE BADGE! BADGE! BADGE! BADGE!!!
Wow, Nick... Harsh. What a jerk.
Hey, look~! I predicted the dialogue~!
Anyway, the party dies and Nick is a jerk. But at least he feels bad about his decision.
...Welp. That's a new one.
Anyway, Maya headed off into the woods but...
NO! NOT THE BEARS! ARGH! THEY'RE IN MY EYES! THEY'RE IN MY EYES!
Anyway, we head off to make sure that Maya hasn't been eaten by Yogi or BooBoo.
And now we return to the world of a little while before, as Maya Fey.
Now, I take a walk through the woods until...
Ghost Birds. Great.
Oh, well. Time to kill it.
*ahem*
I'LL PUT AN END TO YOUR CRUEL NECROMANCING!
(but we were just dancing...)
GO BACK, DEMON BEASTS, FROM WHENCE YOU CAME!
YOUR IN ACE ATTORNEY,NOW! THIS ISN'T A GAME!
And so forth...
EXORCISM!!!
Or not. Looks like the exorcism failed, and now I'm trying to help the bird out.
Anyway, I follow the Ghost Bird until I finally end up at this tree.
Where I find Ryouta who's been hurt badly.
Anyway, I need to heal the bird now. Let's try healing it WITH THE POWER OF MAGATAMA!
Eventually, I start doing things right and swab+bandage the wing.
AND THEN THIS HAPPENS!
One trauma center later, I've healed the bird a-
OH CRAP! IT'S HEART STOPPED BEATING! I NEED TO DO BIRD CPR! I'M FAR TOO SHOCKED TO SCREENSHOT IT EITHER!
Hooray~! I saved the pigeon! Yay~!
Anyway, now I get to name it. Time to have Xat Names Pigeonmon~!
And it turned out most of them weren't paying attention. So I just named it Harley Hatowell because I love stupid puns.
Anyway, the pigeon likes it so much that it suddenly learns how to respond to the human language and nods.
We now return to our regularly scheduled Gourd Lake.
Hm...Well, if you literally stop all thought you'll die. So obviously I picked that~!
Which didn't work. So I just thought about Nick.
Which resulted in Pearl lamenting the loss of change and some guy started playing guitar somewhere.
And then I decided to think about Maya...
And then a lady appeared on the lake and I could walk towards her. If I drop Pearl in, do I get a Gold one?
Oh crap! It's Viola!
Anyway, now I can talk to her. I'm gonna ask her about the cake.
Viola teaches me how to skip stones, and now I can tell her who I'm angry at. I pick herself. Because I'm angry at Pearl too.
Anyway, we talk about grim retribution because 8 year olds love that subject and then we skip some more stones.
And now we're back to looking for Maya. Hopefully she hasn't been eaten by a pigeon while we were gone.
So, we find her napping with Harley Hatowell and we take a look at the code on it's leg and-
OH COME ON! At least it's not 11037.
So, I go to enter the number in and... It suddenly slips Phoenix's mind. Great. :T
In any case, we decide that we'll keep the bird and go back to meet the others.
And we're back. And now it's time to party~!
Now how should we celebrate... How about... Balloons>Presents>Cake?
And first we have the ballons, which...popped. To reveal a new message. Sadly, it didn't fully load so I couldn't get a screenshot. But what it said was... "He Shank Yo Ma". Juuuuust what Maya needed to hear~.
Next, we brought out presents.
Pearl bought Maya a lovely ivory seal. Phoenix bought her the chibi steel samurai key ring set and Gumshoe and Maggey bought her...
ARGH! ARGH! ARGH! ARGH! ARGH! ARGH! ARGH! ARGH! ARGH! ARGH! ARGH! ARGH! ARGH! ARGH! ARGH!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!
Phoenix gets it. Sob... ;_;
Anyway, now it's time for Franziska's gift. I'm sure that'll put a smile on Maya's fa-
....Or not.
Let's hope the cake fares better.
GODDAMMIT, VIOLA!
PHOENIX GETS IT!
Anyway, it seems like Phoenix is going to have to comfort Maya an-
OR she could go coo coo for coacoa puffs. That works too.
So, Phoenix leads her off to the beach where we can let her vent a bit.
Oh, don't worry. Live's end, but this party is forever. :3
Anyway, she vents about all her worries and issues for a while and I say I'll be there for her and then...Well...
Umineko happens. And Maya assures us that in the end she'll be fine in red. And then we head back to the party and everyone apologizes.
And now we're using though route to work out just why Viola knows the bird. PLEASE don't let it slip Phoenix's mind this time!
And he's getting close...
He's almost worked it out...
He's thinking about looking at it from another angle...
I officially hate you.
I hate you.
Remember when I said I hate you? Still do!
THANK YOU!
.............................................F**************************************************!!
Well, no shank, Sherlock!
...............................and he then proceeds to accidentally turn it upside down, realise nothing and then turn it back to the original position.
Ah! Fina-
NO NO NO NO DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT NO NO NO NO GOD NO CRAP ARGH WHY I HATE HATE HATE NO NO NO WHY WHY DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN ARGH ACK WHY NO DAMN!!!!!
I have a weeping option. Welp, if you don't use it, you lose it.
And the weeping still lets me continue this farce. Sigh... Okay. Here we go.
YES! YES IT DOES, YOU THICK FRIG! DAMN! FINALLY! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
And, finally, the madness ends.
So, we find out that it's Viola's pigeon and she was flying it around when it got shot by Pigeon Kidnappers from a criminal syndicate. Then, she says Maya can continue looking after the bird, and we all sign gag orders so that no-one will spill the birds location and put it, and us, in danger. After that, we head back to Phoenix's office.
And now for dramatic monologuing, courtesy of Darkness Corp.
Basically, it lets me know someone at the party tried to kidnap the pigeon. And that our mysterious narrator is a member of something known as "P syndicate", oh and also that Mia and Maya's blood is on their hands but that's not important.
And we're back to the Wright and Co. law office~! Where dreams come to die.
Anyway, our pigeon seems to be enjoying themselves and we start planning what we're going to do when...
Huh. Guess the syndicate delivers. I hope they remembered, no pineapple!
In any case, Phoenix wright points out that our guest is in a room with a detective, a mob boss' daughter, a person who commands spirits, two prosecutors and...
o_o Maggey. F***ing. Byrde.
Ah, but our guest brought some backup.
Okay, they may be armed to the teeth, but can we have some pizza BETWEEN our teeth now?
ANIMANIACS JOKE INCOMING!
Yep. Just as I thought.
Anyway, Maya tries to escape with the pigeon so the Guest pulls out a gun and goes to shoot her.
I choose to jump in front of the bullet and shout, because I've got to get SOMETHING to eat!
But the Edgey jumps in the way. Then Franziska. And then Gummy. And then Maggey.
And finally Viola.
And then the friggin damn pigeon. GOD. DAMMIT!
And then Maya again. Friggin' hell! How goddamn slow is this bullet?! Don't those typically move faster than SOUND let alone FREAKING PEOPLE!
And then, Maya dies. And we enter...the Grimdark Age of the Law!
Two days later.
We are thrown into Maya's funeral. Seems fun enough.
Anyway, I try and cry and Pearl delivers a speech and then we cut to a month later.
Looks like Wrighto needs a vacation.
OH! So that's why he knew Lithuanian, earlier!
Oh, and ftr, he brought the pigeon.
ACK! SHANNON?! What are you doing off Rokkenjima?!
Anyway, Shannon takes us to our room and lets us know not to worry if we hear any screaming. It's just another locked room murder.
Anyway, Phoenix's cousin dies in a locked room murder but Phoenix just doesn't feel like solving it so he has a coffee and relaxes and then heads home.
And now, we jump another month forward.
Nick's back home, and his pigeon is wearing that damn Lithuanian hat. In any case, I go to water Charley when I notice something under it's leaf...
Oh. It's an electronic bug. Literally. Come on, seriously?
Next I go to pack up some books for Viola, only to find another bug. Huh. Weird.
Then we check the phone. Seems Edgeworth has caught an accomplice to the shooting and we've got a lead, a website that the P syndicate frequents. Also, we find the final bug inside the phone. Huh. I wonder who did that...
Four months later, an we're looking at the website mentioned before. Somehow, it looks familiar. 4chan? Reddit? Court-records? Witch-Hunt!?
And we're treated to a tutorial on writing female characters. Amazing.
Well, once the evening is over, we'll reach an
Endless Night.
Anyway, Nick settles in to play Endless N- I mean, Interminable Evenings and we cut to six months later.
Ohai Larry. You're my favorite customer.
Anyhoo, Larry suggests we hang out sometime during the week.
Woah! Nick! What's wrong with Viola?! She's the one who gave you Harley Hatowell, remember?!
Anyway, we explode and Larry and kick him out. Because...Nick's a jerk, I guess?
And now it's time to hang out with The Pizza Man.
So, Pizza Man springs Godot out on the condition that he helps him get revenge. Godot says "K. Sure" and the scene, and the prologue, ends.
Thanks for the spoilers! :T
Anyway, after some interjecting from our narrator we're back to the court.
So, here we are. Just chilling in the court. Waiting for our client. Hoping that it'll appease Maya. Wonder who it-
Oh HELL no!
Okay, so it seems Pearl's been put on trial for murdering Iris in a locked room. And, yep, I've been dragged into it.
Luckily, we have a secret weapon! The power of A- I mean, DDO trials! These trials sound in no way familiar, thank you for asking.
And these guys are DEFINITELY not Blackrune, DWaM, Zeta, Ping', BP and... Uh, Papas? I don't know who it possibly could b- Oh wait! It's so obvious! A conundrum is a puzzle or riddle and another word for that... Is Hodou Okappa. I got it right on the nose!
Anyway, jokes aside, it's time for court.
Oh, hi Godot!
Anyway, Godot acts like a massive DW- I mean, nihilistic darkness loving psychopath and gives us a whole speech on why real life is grimdark and what not. And then we finally get to our first witness.
Ohai, Gummy.
Alright, Gumshoe's giving us testimony and it's time to take him down.
But, before we can do that the narrator gives us a little speech on how the contradictions make absolutely no sense whatsoever.
Whateverdo youmean by that? :/
Wow. They weren't kidding when they said the contradictions don't make sense...
Anyway, we spot an issue with the Perfect Locked Room in Gummy's testimony, but then Godot "actualizes" the evidence and sends us back to the testimony.
Okay! Now we've found a contra- "Actualizing" again?! REALLY?
In any case, we...sigh...we move onto the next witness.
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........................................................................................................................................................................I'm done.
ENIGMA OUT! I'M DONE!
Sometime later, I return, broken and ruined, and finally get on with Polly's testimony.
This is a real contradiction, by the way. I'm not even making this up.
Well, DUH. That's BASIC knowledge! Everyone knows THAT.
In any case, Oh-God actualizes some more evidence and we're back to square one.
THERE! Here's another contradiction! I got you now you damn parro-
And then GodDammit actualizes some more evidence and we're back to square one.
This one is almost logical. It...It almost works.
And then GodOHCOMEON(!) actualizes the evidence some more and we're back to square one.
And then the judge gets sick of this whole thing and ends the crossexamination, leading me to have to restort to... Asking about after the crime!
This shouldn't take too long.
Boom! Suck it, Polly. Now I- Wait. Did someone say "ac-" DAMMIT!
Fine. Second try. Let's go. This sho-
...nope. back to square one.
SURELY this one wi-
Please just let this one wo-
Nope. lolactualised.
And with that, the judge ends this little farce. Yay. SERIOUSLY, GODOT! THE ONLY THING YOU HAVEN'T ACTUALIZED IS MY BA-
........spoke too soon. GODDAMMIT GODOT!
Anyway... Godot wipes the floor with us some more, but we still have one last shred of hope.
Yeah! Any locked room is really just a ton of wordplay and silly trickery!
Right and- Wait. Hold up. Why was my counterpart's name mentioned twice? Uh...Hm...
Uh... Hm... Present everything, time!
.....really. is that so. okay...wynaut...
Anyway, we force Godot to present the audio recording that came with the badge (don't question it) and we find that at the time of the murder, Pearl was smashing the Sacred Urn.....again.
Heheh~ Finally! We can launch our attack!
That's right, Godot! Try and actualise your way out of this one. Oh wait! You can't! >:3
Heheh~ Victory feels goo-
Whuh. Wait. What? Hold on... Do you mean that... DAMMIT!
wait. ....seriously? Death Penalty? Torture?! REALLY?!
Okay, now that's just sick. You're a twisted fiend, Godot!
Okay... We still have one last chance.
And we're using it to have Pearl testify. Brilliant.
Anyway, the contradiction here is rather easy (despite the fact that it's 20+ statements long). It's simply that Iris apparently had red hair when she typically had black hair. I WONDER what that means.
Clearly, Mass Hallucination is the only explanation.
After trying all the other options, I eventually caved in and chose the sane option.
Of course, this now means we have to back up our theory with proof. Welp, can do, Kapp'n.
Bet you didn't know THAT, did you? But I did. I looked at the profiles. The profiles told me. The profiles control me...
And now, looking at the murder weapon, isn't it possible that the blood on it belonged to someone related to her...
20 bucks you didn't see THIS ONE coming.
And, at this point, the case LITERALLY becomes Dangan Ronpa. Next second, I bet Monobadger pops up and Iris was the mastermind all along.
Teleportation is the only option that makes sense.
See? Told you~. (Okay, in reality it was the last option. But... Magical Ferret Boy....)
Oh crap. I KNEW he was being WAY too quiet!
...............OH COME ON! You're not really going to-
Dammit. Dammit. Dammit... Actualising everything. Godot you jerkbag.
How. By ACTUALIZING reality, Godot? Is THAT how? Huh, is it?!
Anyway, Phoenix is not deterred. He has the power of MAN WITH A DISGUISE on his side!
The answer to this is in the evidence, for the record. On the Perfect Locked Room evidence. It took, like, five seconds to check. Getting out of this locked room is turning out to be surprisingly easy.
Yes! Totally! Absolutely! Verily! I swear it is now shuuuush! Shut up! I'm trying to solve a LOCKED ROOM MYSTERY!
Anyway, we finally reach the solution to our pu-
.............................................................................................what, no Good Author joke thrown in there for good measure? ...Okay. Let's just...ugh.... Come on, Enigma. You can do this. You're a pro.... Just....Okay. Okay. Sure, why not. WHY FLIPPIN' NOT!?
I know, I know, Your Honour. Just.... Just roll with it, okay? Thanks...
.....Don't worry, Godot. It'll be over soon. Everything. The madness. The pain. The dumb. The cocopuff... Everything.
So, I just give in to the madness and point out that everyone was out of the town. Because, screw it. If we're doing this, we may as well go the whole way on it.
...Screw it! Yes I do! Sure I do!
BY THE POWER OF BLACKRUNE, I HAVE THE SOLUTIOOOOOOON!!
Boom. The sap proves everything. It's syrup. Maple syrup. Kwando is the killer. Seriously, though. The treesap came from Australia. Traditional Japanese homes are not made of Aussie wood. I would know.
Next up, I have to show when the room was built.
Well, that was easy. You want evidence? We got your evidence RIGHT HERE!
But then, how come Iris didn't notice? And where did she go? That's the REAL question.
She went to a farm where she could play all day. Okay, we have that one locked down.
So, then... Why didn't Pearl notice while all this happened?
Because the poor little feller was all tuckered out, OF COURSE~! And with that, the locked room is solved.
We're finished~! We're victorious, guys! Yes! Woohoo~! Hooray~! This is the best ever~! Yay~! Ya- Hm? What's that? I've....forgotten something?
.........Crap. I should have seen this one coming.
Yep. Phoenix gets it. We already got Pearl acquitted of murder... But now she faces torture before death. Dammit.
Wipe that smug smile off your face, Godot. Go...Drink some coffee or something.
Welp, we're screwed.
Everythings slipping away. We've come so far. But we messed up. We...screwed up. We'll never be forgiven.
Oh god. Even Maya's gone.
OH GOD! Godot can read minds! He's....so smug. Such a jerk! Well, when I...somehow...do thing...he won't be laugh so good happy no more.... Yeah. Whatever that means!
Ooh~ Bear pit fun time~! It has BEARS! AND it's fun! I love bear pit fun time! Upupupupu~
Guys! Stop bribing DWaM! Bribe me instead!
Hand it on a platter...A plate.... WAIT! A PLATE?! AS IN, PIZZA?! DOES THAT MEAN...
GODOT WAS A PIZZA MAN ALL ALONG! HOLY CRAP! So... Does that mean... They merged with Starbucks?!
And now we're flashing back to the one time Phoenix saw this giant bloody P. Good times, good times. 'Course, this was back during his referencing days when he just referenced everything.
YOU'RE TEARING ME APART, MAYA!
And to top of all the references, we have one from The Depressing Turnabout. Good job, guys. That's a rap.
But, with that over, Phoenix bounces back with his second wind. He has a brand new strategy.
....disproving his own arguments. Um... Good plan, I guess?
DAMMIT! IT'S THE ATTORNEY'S BADGE, AGAIN! It just gets in everywhere!
So, how will this piece of evidence be explained?
Godooooot. Have you been actualising again? Tch. Silly boy. *laugh track* *LAUGH TRACK* *lAUgH TrACk!!!*
Wow. Who could have guessed. Not me. Nope. Godot was totes unsuspicious about it.
BUT, GODOT, IT'S CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL!
Yes. That's what we've all been saying, Wright. Now calm your badge.
And then, Godot basically says "lol. liek i care. i drink coffee. lelelelel."
Finally, we can wipe that smug grin off his face.
At that moment, the tables were turned. Hell, the only way we could incriminate Godot more is if-
A bailiff was to run in and specifically say that Iris was still alive and that they had found her locked up somewhere and then maybe mention that...
And then further go on to say...
And then hand Phoenix $50 and say "Fennix ur so awsum". Oh? What? That last part didn't happen? Damn. What a missed opportunity.
...................................o_o Do I even need to comment on how creepy that sounded?
Yay~! So, as it turns out, a low voiced adult man just perfectly forged a recording of the voice of an 8year old girl. Makes sense. Ah, well. Alls well that ends we-
THEY FOUND THE URN AND THE VICTIM, GODOT!
Oh god. OH GOD! OH COME ON! NO! SERIOUSLY! Really, Godot?! What kidn of person expects tha-
Uh......Oh. Um... In my, I mean, Conundrums defense... Entropy and Basidi O'mycotta worked out his stuff pretty damn fast, you know?
Fun fact: None of these work. There. Time saved.
See? Told you so~
That's because we had a fun little thing called... The magic of fiction~!
You're going to get jiggy with it?
Oh, I see. That works t-
...................................................wut.
Who's there? I don't see anyone. Nope. You're silly. You must be hallucinating. Or maybe it's a ghost. Hahaha. Silly Godot.
Oh, yeah. And also that. We can work with that.
In any case, Godot points out that Pearl can't testify since she's clearly biased.
Is it Grimdark!Polly again~? I love Grimdark!Polly! He's a cool bird. Is psycho. And doesn't afraid of anything.
........Okay. So we're getting the murder victim to testify about her own murder. Amazing.
"She totes killed me. Really! I'm, like, SUPER dead. Yep."
Someone try this in a real court, please.
I like to imagine she said that in a complete monotone. "She murdered me." Testimony over. And such.
Sure she can! What could possibly go wrong~?
Of course, that's still not enough. I need EVIDENCE! PROOF! Something solid! Like human wa- Never mind. But how can I prove it perfectly?
uh-oh
So, I can choose a whole bunch of evidence to prove my point. Hm... How about...
EVERYTHING! EVERYTHING IS IMPORTANT! HAHAHAHAHAHA!
................................Everything was important.
Of course, Godot objects. All this evidence points to Dahlia being the victim, right?
AH! I see! That... makes sense! Heheh. That's right! I have the power of PROOF on my side!
I also have the power of complete and total BS on my side, too. Yay~!
"That's a lot of fish." Also notice how the shock of this revelation rendered the judge unconcious? IT WAS THAT AMAZING!
Oh, here we go. What does Mr. Complaint have to say now?
So, Mr. I-Complain-Nonstop points out we've explained the how and who, both correct...
Um... Because of yo mama? I have no idea. Maybe she didn't give Pearl enough icecream?
THERE! Ain't nobody got time for your whydunnits!
But, all of a sudden, Godot says he'll explain the why. Because suddenly he's not a massive tool. And thus, he requires a recess. The judge is hesitant.
Surprisingly, the judge is STILL hesitant. He asks how long this recess will take.
Thank you. How VERY specific.
And, then, the recess is granted, we get a bit of speech from the narator and the scene ends.
Fifty years of refreshing, the trial finally loads. No, I'm not kidding. This was ridiculous. I could have written my own comp entry in the time it took for this game to actually load and work! Needless to say, I was not impressed and, in fact, specifically took a screencap of the loaded screen so I could rant about that. In future, try and make the game actually playable for the people judging it. So many times it would load but not be able to be played. It was ridiculous. Anyway, back to the actual game.
So, we return to Phoenix-chan waiting for Armstrong-senpai to send him that text that shows he's finally noticed her~. In reality, I have no idea what message he's referring to.
You found the Pizza Hut?
Wow. Who knew the local pizzaman was so into trials... I wonder if he gives lawyers half-price.
Evens the scales? As in... THE SCALES OF JUSTICE?! Hahahaha! Yes, yes! I'm here all week. Thanks you.
And with that weirdly vague phonecall, we return to court.
Oh, sweet. We ordered pizza. Nice.
Nah, just the player. And the audience of this LP. And everyone that ISN'T called Enthalpy or Ferdie.
Hee hee... He said Pee Syndicate.
On a more serious note, how does a restaurant take over the legal system!?
Anyway, it seems Wright's been on the trail of the P Syndicate ever since Maya's death buuut...
Oh snap! Godot was a good guy! Bet you didn't see THAT ONE coming!
Did he throw in half price coupons and some free garlic bread? Maybe a recipe for how to make a joke go on far too long?
OH, SORRY. I DIDN'T GET THAT FROM HOW YOU WERE SO CLEARLY ON PHOENIX'S SIDE JUST NOW. NOPE.
Ooooh. So this whole trial was LITERALLY a farce! And I thought it was just silly! Now it all makes sense!
He's the guy coming to the courthouse. He'll be on a little red scooter and be holding a flat, square box with delicious and steaming hot food inside.
In any case, we decide to humour the judge and explain how this would work if this was a mystery novel.
PFFT...Being fair!? In THIS game?! Hahahahaha!
....oh. okay. never mind, then.
Isn't that what I just said?! Pay attention for once! Gosh!
You know you COULD have said that without the red. Just saying... I would have trusted you.
That one teacher you had who was a seriously terrible judge, that one time?
Bai toDogy~ You're my favourite customer~!
Oh sweet! Now is the time for me to name the mastermind. Now, for the sake of just saying it, I actually did get this right on my first try. Ask Evo, if you must. Of course, I'm not going to spoil it yet because, you know, all of you fantastic readers. Except you, Enth. You don't get to be fantastic. How dare you and Ferdie make a game that I enjoy! RUDE! :T
So you guys can guess, if you're a terrible person who spoils themselves... Here are the clues.
Okay? You read those clues? Good. It's time for me to... ANNOUNCE THE TRUTH!
Pffft! You thought I was serious. Hahaha. What idio-
owait.
OH SNAP! That's right! The mastermind is Payne~! Wow! I've never heard of a case with an evil Payne who forges major evid- Oh wait.
What's this I dropped here...
Oh snap! Payne is in the court! And he's even backed up by the power of The Theme of the White Oak!
Oh, sure. I bet all the killers can get away with that. "You killed him!" "SLUR! SLUR AGAINST ME! DEFAMATION!" "Wait... What?" "You can't accuse me! It's defamation of character!" *PENALTY*
In any case, Payne goes on to point out that our evidence is technically forged. Since, you know, the murder never happened. So, this evidence means nothing. Also, he mentions that if we give him enough time he can get an expert witness to prove his innocence and such.
Oh, yeah. He also tampered with Ema's exam. That's why she became a grumpy detective. Go figure.
A bit later, he then proceeds to contradict what he said just now.
What happened to not owning all the forensic experts?
And, just for good measure, he busts out the red truth. Hooray.
After that, Phoenix thinks to himself in very vague terms for a bit. No major reason.
In any case, we suddenly get a burst on insight and encouragement from a mysterious voice. Which is just what we need.
WHAT?! No red?! But then how will you be able to see any blood? How will you be able to see most things since everything tends to have some level of red to them, right? How will you be able to read important text?!
What? Payne? Overconfident? Pssshaaaaaw!
Anyway, it seems Phoenix has been watching and observing everything about Payne...
Ew.
Payne confirmed to be Ferdie, since he WAS the last guy to have an MotM interview.
...........well, THAT was rude. Did you ever think maybe put a lot of effort into those mysteries, Phoenix?! ;_;
In any case, that's not the only thing Phoenix found out.
Shock! That's right! The traitor was within the offices all along!
If I couldn't what was the point of saying that. :T
Okay, folks. Again it's time for "Let The Jerks Who Spoil Themselves Guess"!
Okay, you ready? I should note, I actually managed to get this one right. But I figured it was a joke. Okay. Ready? You suuuure? Really sure? Okay... If you say so...
....yep. You hear the man. The plant betrayed us. What a dastardly deed. But what are we going to do? Take it to court?
.......welp. I'm done. No, seriously. I'm done. Comp over. Go home. GET OUTTA HERE!
Okay, I'm back... Yeah. I'm fine. No, seriously. Okay... Time to fight the plant.
Phoenix demands that I drag the truth out of Charley with old fashioned red+blue, but... Oh no! What's that?
Apparently the, ugh... plant... And all members of P.... Are masters of manipulating the Red and Blue truth.
Uh, Mr. Wright? Wordplay and double meanings would like to have a word with you~.
Anyway, Phoenix ignores that and we begin our fight with Charley.
New minigame alert! New minigame alert! And, yes. THE PLANT IS A MASTER OF PSYCHOLOGICAL WARFARE! I guess that makes sense, since you LITERALLY CAN'T PSYCHE OUT A TREE.
Anyway, this game is brain training. No, it literally is. You have to be quick and tap words that match instructions. And they're either red or blue. I guess... Brain Training is a fitting game when if comes to Enth and Ferdie, I guess.
More against the laws of nature than the FRIGGING TALKING TREE?!
Anyway, I take down Charley (pretty much no stuffups~ yay~) and Charley begins to confess.
See, Charley used to be a plant at Grossberg's office. Diego's best friend. And then, when T&T happened and Diego fell into a coma Mia brought him to be by Diego's side. He always blamed Mia for what happened to Diego. And finally, one day, Mia gave up on Diego. She moved Charley to her office. Charley snapped. He leaked the info on her that got her killed to P. And since then, he became P's propert-
Wait. Why is Payne moving towards the witness sta-
OH GOD!
Why?! WHY, PAYNE?!
(I have a confession to make. It's around here that he said the story I said just that smidgen earlier. But format works better like this...)
Ch... Charley...A good plant died...Farewell, sweet tree.
.............goddammit, Charley.
It looks like Payne has won. All is lost, when-
OH DAMN! In retrospect, killing a witness is typically frowned upon... Yeah...
Hell, Payne's so screwed even the judge acknowledges it.
And, yet... Payne is unfazed.
Really? REALLY!?
In any case, Payne reveals his motive. As a veteran prosecutor, he watched as a bunch of teenage brats kept getting their licenses. It was insulting. Humiliating. And so, he grew to resent the system. And so he decided to tear the system apart. Phoenix calls him a monster, I call him a PAYNE-in-the-ass! Ha~! GEDDIT?!
Yes, it seems Payne had one last ace up his sleeve. We can't win, can we... Unless...
Meta-humour? Umineko references? Evidence?!
oh. hell. no.
Uh... I'm afraid to ask.
You're a Killer in the metaphorical sense or the... Okay, that was a dumb question.
Wow. He looks REALLY pale without his orange skin. What, did he stand in a freezer before the trial!?
Wow. I swear, Tigre's theme sounds genuinely heroic right now. That's the amazing thing about context, isn't it~?
So, in the end... Tigre really did love Viola. What a lovely story~ I can't think of anything else to say. I ran out of witty ages ago. Even before this LP, if you ask some.
Oh, HEY~! It really IS Tigre!
Payne objects. But that's not the only trap set...
So THAT'S why Payne wears those glasses! He can't tell young women from old men! Amazing! I wouldn't be surprised if Godot turned out to be a pigeon!
And with that, all's well that ends well. We took down P and saved the earth.
Because plotholes, my dear Iris!
Come on, guys. The trials here aren't THAT cruel. :T
Yay~! So, Tigre and Godot are applying for parole, Payne's in jail, Iris is alive, Pearl is safe and everything's good~! Well, except the whole Maya being dead thing...
Psyche! Maya's still alive! That's right! Didn't she tell you this would happen at the start of the case?
And with that, the trial ends.
Oh wait, one last thing...
GODDAMMIT!
Final Verdict
Did I enjoy this trial? Yes. Did I love this trial? Yes. Is this trial in my favorites? Yes.
Honestly, I don't have much to say about this trial. Because, well, it's not something that's easy to discuss. It's something quite new. Something quite different. I guess I could say I found the humour fantastic? I could say that it all looked aesthetically pleasing? I could say that the story entertained and intrigued? But then, where would that get us, really. It's fun, and I enjoyed it. That's the most I have to say. I only have ONE issue with it. And that is playability. You don't know how many times I had to refresh this game just so I could play it. It wasn't buggy, per se. It just flat out refused to work. It was ridiculously frustrating! I'm not sure what the cause of this was, but I'm pretty sure it's a traffic problem. And, well, MAYBE you should have waited for the judges to play before showcasing. Just saying. At the heart of this, though, this was a fantastic case and I thoroughly enjoyed it. I don't know what else I can say. Thank you for making it, EnthalFerd.